The Daily Dose/Wednesday, January 15, 2020

The Daily Dose/January 15, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HEY BATTER, BATTER…SWING: Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred has handed out the first penalties in the Houston Astros sign-stealing scandal. So far, two managers and a general manager have lost their jobs and there might be others, too. The Astros were fined $5 million and lost four first and second-round draft picks. 

All right. The commissioner had to do something. Established major league rules had been violated and now careers are ruined but, interestingly, the Astros are more or less off scott free. The $5 million is nothing for them and the loss of some draft picks will hurt but is hardly catastrophic and they retain their 2017 World Series title. They got away with it. 

Some Philosophy Crap: Nothing will change because sign stealing is as old as baseball. Only the methods have changed and as long as teams insist on giving signs other teams will try to steal them. It’s the way the game is played. You can make electronic sign-stealing illegal but it is not going to stop it because players will merely become more adept at not getting caught, much like with the use of PEDs. 

Put It In His Ear: So leave it alone and let the players take care of it. Anyone who’s knocked around the ballyard long enough knows there are two types of rules: the ones in the book and the ones players play the game under. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The Astros signaled a certain pitch was on the way by banging a trash can. This is what continues to flummox us: if a batter can hear a trash can being banged than the catcher can, too. So what were the catcher’s doing while trash cans were being banged, tapping their toes to the beat? Because I’ll tell you what, catchers aren’t idiots and after a couple of trash can bangs were followed by curveballs being sent into orbit they should’ve gotten a clue and put two and two together. He should have pulled his pitcher aside between innings for a little chat and the next time there’s a bang against the trash can the pitch would have sailed behind the batter’s head instead of breaking outside. End of problem. 

Fly In The Ointment: Some are feeling sorry for the Los Angeles Dodgers in all this but honestly, do you really think the Dodgers weren’t trying to steal signs during their World Series loss to the Astros? Don’t kid yourself; the surprise would be if they didn’t. They merely not as obvious nor as good at it. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: A guest yaps through the entire check-in process. Today’s Diary. 

He was a tall, friendly sort with mussed-up hair and an acne-scarred face who probably wasn’t valedictorian and he wasted no time in telling me he was a rodeo cowboy who was home only about three or four nights a month and on the road the rest of the time and he was really tired and wanted to stop for the night even tho his ID said he lived in the next county which isn’t that far for Pete’s sake and he’s broken every bone in his body many times and was currently recovering from a shoulder injury which followed an ankle injury and good gravy, he talked thru the entire transaction.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1759 – The first public national museum in the world, the British Museum, opens in London. The museum first displayed the collection for British physicist Hans Sloane and it’s original home, Montague House, was demolished in the 1840s. Due to the British penchant for sticking its nose in every part of the world, the British Museum has one of the planet’s largest collections from classical antiquity and today boasts over 13 million objects. 

In 1997 – The Seattle Supersonics establish a new NBA record for most steals in a game with 27 in a 122-78 wins over the Toronto Raptors. The Supersonics broke the old record of 25 done twice, both times by the Golden State Warriors, and the record still stands. The Raptors had twelve steals of their own and the combined total of 39 steals is tied for the second-most in NBA history (40, done three times). 

In 1966 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three non-consecutive weeks with We Can Work It Out. The song had first reached #1 on Jan. 8 and would return on Jan. 29 after The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel spent a week at the top. The song also went to #1 in seven other countries including The Netherlands and Great Britain and the flip side of the Beatles record, Day Tripper, peaked at #5 on the Hot 100. Stevie Wonder also charted with the song, peaking on the Hot 100 at #13 in 1971.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…there was the powerful impulse of vanity, a motivation which has never had its due recognition in historical works. – William E. Woodward, The Way Our People Lived

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Player’s other Top 10 hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 was This Time I’m In It For Love, which peaked at #10 in 1977.  

Today’s Stumper
Test your knowledge. Now.

What is the NBA record for fewest steals in a game by both teams? – Answer next time!

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