The Daily Dose/Wednesday, January 22, 2020

The Daily Dose/January 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

THE PRESIDENT’S ON TRIAL, BUT LET’S LEAD WITH THE CENSUS: The 24th United States census is underway, with the first actual counting of Americans coming this week in Toksook Bay in western Alaska. 

1…2…3…330 million: The first American counted was Lizzie Chimiugak, 90, who was personally interviewed by Census Bureau Director Steven Dillingham. One of the things Dillingham, who was obliged to ride out the town’s community center on a snowmobile, noted was Chimiugak spoke Yup’ik, 

For The Record: Chimiugak added she enjoys basket weaving and native Alaskan dancing. She married in 1947 and has been a widow for about 30 years. She has five children and expressed concerns about the effects a changing climate would have on the hunting and fishing that keeps her community going. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The census has started in Alaska every ten years since 1870, three years after the US bought it from Russia. Though it might seem backwards to those who live in warmer climes, the frozen ground is actually easier to navigate than the muddy roads that develop when temperatures warm up in the spring. Natives are all in town, too, during the winter. In the spring they head off for traditional hunting and fishing areas. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: The rest of the country will begin the census in March and the actual enumeration date is April 1.

This Whole Column Is Dry, Technical Matter, Isn’t It?: The last US census, in 2010, counted 308,745,538 people living in America, up almost ten percent from the 2000 census. 

If Dry, Technical Matter Is Inevitable…: The first US census, in 1790, recorded 3,929,214  Americans. Initially, the census was conducted by US Marshalls who were authorized to hire as many assistants as they needed. 

Are We About Done?: The 1790 US census cost about $44,000, about $1.2 million in today’s dollars. This year’s census will cost about $15.6 billion. 

Oh, Jesus H: The first census that attempted to record everyone in a household came in  1850. Before that, census takers only count heads of households while estimating women, children and slaves. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow compares and contrasts Post-It Notes with his homemade scratch paper. 

Post-It Notes blow…One, they’re smaller than official Sparrow Scratch Sheets (SSS)…A Post-It measures, ruffly, three inches square…You can’t write squat on that…I can’t even sign my name on something three inches square and good luck getting anything a co-worker would find relevant on one…Hell, you’d need a string of them to leave instructions to throw the trash out…The SSS, however, measure a lusty 4.25 x 6.5 inches which you could put the preamble to the Constitution on if you’re so minded. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1889 – Columbia Records is founded, named for its location in Washington, D.C. Columbia would begin selling records, in addition to the then-industry standard cylinders, in 1901 and in 1908 began selling records pressed on both sides for 65 cents, about $18 in today’s money. In 1927 it helped form CBS Radio, though it soon got out of the radio business. Today, Columbia Records is owned by Sony and is headquartered in New York City. 

In 1973 – George Foreman wins the undisputed heavyweight title, defeating Joe Frazier in a second round TKO in Kingston, Jamaica. Foreman would keep the title until losing it to Muhammad Ali the following year, and would regain at least a share of the title in 1994, Frazier would fight three more times for a heavyweight title, losing all three times, his last fight a draw with the dreaded Floyd Cummings in 1981. 

In 1966 – Stevie Wonder is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Rhythm and Blues Singles chart – for the first of five consecutive weeks with Uptight (Everything’s All Right). It was the fourth Top 10 on the soul chart for Wonder and his second of 20 soul chart #1 songs, a Billboard soul chart record he shares with Aretha Franklin. Wonder co-wrote the song with Sylvia Moy and Henry Cosby and was the first chart single he wrote or co-wrote. The song also peaked at #3 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and at #14 in Great Britain. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

There is no material solution to a spiritual problem.  – An old saying

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Dean Martin’s second #1 song on a Billboard pop chart was Everybody Loves Somebody, which went to #1 on the Hot 100 in 1964.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many #1 songs has Stevie Wonder had on Billboard’s Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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