The clamor was too much. The Daily Dose is back after yet another reader-depleting hiatus.
Both regular and new readers of this crap can expect the usual witless commentary on issues that may or may not be pressing or even interesting. The Thought for the Day and the Trivia feature will return, as will the ever-popular On This Date.
To make The Daily Dose experience as inconvenient as possible, past columns will be available at the Writer’s Shack.
The Daily Dose/November 11, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Foremost Humorist
WHILE WE WERE OUT: The Chicago Cubs won the World Series, defeating the Cleveland Indians four games to three. They did it the hard way, too, becoming the first team since 1985 to overcome a three games to one deficit and the first since 1979 to do so by winning the final two games on the road.
Uh, Did We Hear You Right?: Yes, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. It wasn’t really that big a surprise, either. They had favored since spring training and had the best record in the major leagues in 2016. 108 years after their last World Series win, and 71 years after their last appearance, the ultimate “W” flag flies over Wrigley Field.
The Cubs Are The Team I Favor This Base Ball Series: The Cubs won the 1908 World Series a month or so before William Howard Taft defeated William Jennings Bryan for the White House. Jennings had first run for president in 1896.
The Times They Are Really Changing: Cubs fans may not have to wait too long for their next title, either. They’re built for the long haul and could very well be back.
WHILE WE WERE OUT II: Donald Trump was elected president of the United States, produced by the biggest sewer of a campaign this nation has seen. Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the Electoral College, though Clinton barely won the popular vote.
Admit It, You Missed Dry, Technical Matter: Trump joins George W Bush, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford B Hayes and John Quincy Adams as presidents who gained the presidency without having to be bothered to win the popular vote.
Oh, Good Gravy: Heck, Adams didn’t even get the most votes in the Electoral College. He lost both counts to Andrew Jackson, however, Jackson didn’t win enough electoral votes. Hilarity – and a bargain or two – in the House of Representatives ensued, and Adams was elected on the first ballot.
Back On Message: Trump was a freakazoid of a private citizen and an embarrassment as a presidential candidate and there is no reason to think he won’t be an embarrassment as president. On the plus side, there should be no shortage of material for halfwit writers – like us – to comment on.
20/20 Hindsight: Trump won because he gave an awful lot of Americans who felt their country slipping away the opportunity to believe what they wanted. Like Germans did when Hitler – who did the exact same thing – first came to power, they took advantage of that.
Hillary Clinton afforded her supporters the same opportunity and they took advantage of that, too. These were the two worst major party presidential candidates in our history.
The Big Picture: It didn’t really matter who won. Neither major party will change a thing. Four years from now we will still be at war and we will still be racking up mindless debt. The long-term prognosis for our country will still be total collapse by the time this half-century is out because America declined to make substantive changes to the way she is governed.
GAYLON FOR CONGRESS…VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN: We received about five percent of the vote in our race for the United States House of Representatives from Colorado’s 3rd District, about double what we received in our US Senate election in 2014.
GREAT MOMENTS IN RACE RELATIONS: Nat Turner, who had led a slave uprising in August, is hanged on this date in 1831. The uprising, in Southampton County, Virginia, led to the deaths of several dozen whites and more than 200 free and enslaved blacks. The revolt did nothing to end slavery in America, it merely made white men more angry.
Holy Crap: Justice was swift back then. After hiding out for a couple of months, Turner was captured on October 30 and tried on November 5.
Yay! No More War! World War I ends on this date in 1918, as the Allies and the Germans agree to ceasefire. Terms were largely dictated by the French, and the Germans were given the choice of either accepting them without negotiation or accepting them without negotiation. German resentment over this – more specifically Adolph Hitler’s resentment over this – was a major cause of World War II.
To add further import to the occasion, the armistice went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
Boys Will Be Boys: To add more poignancy to the occasion, both sides kept piling up deaths until the last possible moment and over 2,700 warriors died on the 11th. One French unit lobbed shells into German lines timed so they would land within seconds of 11am and the final death is generally believed to be American Henry Gunther, killed by a sniper one minute before the hostilities were to end.
Ten Hut: The Tomb of the Unknowns – commonly known as the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier – is dedicated by President Warren Harding at Arlington National Cemetery on this date in 1921.
Originally the tomb held the remains of an unidentified serviceman who died in World War I. It now holds remains from all of wars America has fought since then.
FunFact: The Vietnam War unknown was actually identified as Air Force 1st Lt. Michael Blassie. Blassie’s remains were returned to his family and the remains replaced.
FunFact II: The tomb was first guarded, by a civilian, in 1925, and the military took over the job a few months later. Since 1948 it has been guarded by soldiers from the Army’s 3rd US Infantry Regiment, known as The Old Guard.
Oh Yeah: The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Guard Identification Badge is the second rarest award in the US military, behind the Astronaut Badge.
Thought For The Day: …when history starts to move underneath you, you’d better figure out how you’re going to ride it, or you’ll fall off. – Gore Vidal, Empire
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Tennessee’s Andrew Johnson was the United States Senator from a succeeded state to remain in the US Senate.
Today’s Stumper: What major league baseball team now holds the record for the longest time since last winning the World Series? – Answer next time!