The Diary of a Nobody – Fri 6/8/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, June 8
Got to Hotel A tonight to find Kathy on the phone with the police…Evidently a guest, a long-term guest working on some project, was involved in a scuffle, told police he was staying here and then wandered off…The police eventually come to see for themselves…We go to the room and the TV is blaring and one of the officers knocks and there’s no answer…

The cop, named Jason, advises me that they really don’t have probable cause to enter and I say hell, that’s no problem, I do, follow me…One, there’s too much noise coming from the room and, two, no one’s answering, I can easily justify a welfare check…For funsies, tho, I call Amy, the GM, because GM’s are entitled to know when you are entering a room with the police.

We make entry and the room is empty…The window is open and the screen is off and you do not have to be Joe Friday to conclude that the occupant went out the window and lept one floor down to the ground. Thing is, the guy really wasn’t in trouble, the cops merely wanted to know if he was all right.

Really long-time readers of this crap will recall the job I had for the Doily Delivery Company and that one of my partners was named Brian…Well, Brian was the second responding officer on this call!!!…I am not making that up!!!…He joined the force a couple-three months ago and I see him at the retailer occasionally…He’s got himself a woman and they are actually planning to buy a house in our small town, in a new construction development out past the fairgrounds. 

Got the lawn done today…When I got out there to get started I see Jerry across the alley actually spraying for weeds…This despite his previously issued edicts – including yesterday’s pronouncement – that current weed sprays were crap…He had also mowed his lawn…We were both working, so chatting was minimal, but he did say he hoped he hadn’t woken me up and I said no.

I changed the setting on the lawn mower, too…Previously, it had been set at its shortest setting, but I put it at a middle one because I think there is some merit to the argument that setting it real short isn’t good for the grass…I based this on some grass I cut on Devon’s lawn last week…There’s a break in our fence and the grass on his side was still very high and I mowed, just for funsies…It was all brown, the entire area…So I changed the setting…It might be too late to turn the brown grass green, but maybe it will keep green grass from going brown.

Busy at the retailer tonight…One, it was Friday and paychecks needed to be cashed and Latin America needed its bi-weekly economic boost and, two, there’s a softball tournament in town and families needed things…Fortunately, we were desperately shorthanded and all of us were running around left and right and I even got some treasured Aisle 5 time.

Buzz is losing his mind…In the breakroom before shift he comes up to me and uses the same Bozo the Clown line to describe Jason’s new hair color that he had used Wednesday…I didn’t point this out to him even tho it is a violation of the Co-Worker Bylaws, which state that co-workers must have fresh material, they can’t merely keep trotting out the same lines shift after shift…It’s different with neighbors, of course, Jerry and I will probably be bitching about dandelions 30 years from now, but that’s OK, it’s part of the deal when you’re neighbors and I’m sort of looking forward to it…Co-workers, tho, need new stuff.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0130 Friday until 1030 Friday…By the numbers, this is nine hours but really I only slept for eight or so and eight is what is going into the weekly totals…I started stirring a bit after 0700 because I would be using the can soon and the cat sensed I was waking up and started meowing for her morning canned yummy ration…So I fed her but she was still meowing and I couldn’t get back to sleep…Crap, I had set the alarm for 1030 and I really wanted to sleep until 1030 because I have a Legion funeral to participate in so I shut the bedroom door…The cat didn’t like this at all, standing post at the door and meowing fairly regularly, which I could hear even thru my earplugs, but it was in the background and eventually I got back to sleep…When I later opened the door she scurried in and inspected the bedroom, probably to ensure I wasn’t seeing other cats

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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