The Diary of a Nobody – Sunday April 15, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, April 15
Made another Sparrow For Congress video today…This one was about our country’s recent missile strikes in a Middle Eastern country and, more specifically, how this is an act war and should have been declared by Congress but wasn’t…It was decided unilaterally by the president.

I don’t see how this gets screwed up…I mean, the Constitution is very clear on the matter: Congress declares war. It’s right there in Article One, Section 8 yet some are surprised to learn Congress hasn’t actually declared war since 1942. Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf War, every war since then has not been declared by Congress.

I try to keep these to a minute-and-half for a couple of reasons…One, no one really wants to hear me blab for a whole lot longer than that and, two, attention spans aren’t really what they used to be so people will start to lose interest after that, especially the kids under 30 who will be the ones who get me elected.

I do it right at my desk, on my phone…I have some Velcro on the back of the phone and a strip near the camera on my desktop rig and – and this is key – there’s an online teleprompter I use so I don’t have to memorize my script or keep looking down at note cards…I also give the peace sign the start and at the end and at the start I took off my glasses for emphasis which ended up looking pretty sharp if I do say so myself.

The phone also makes it really easy to trim the start and end of the video so I don’t need the remote control which doesn’t work anymore for some goddamn reason…You get the phone Velcroed into place and hit start and you’re recording and I will give a 3-2-1 countdown with my hand and pause for a couple of seconds before starting in…The teleprompter’s speed you can control out of camera range with the up and down buttons on your keyboard, too, which is important because sometimes you get ahead of yourself and need to speed it up or you fall behind and you need to slow it down…Or maybe it’s the opposite of that…I can never remember…All I know is I am constantly adjusting the teleprompter’s speed. 

Had a video chat today with a kid named Jeff…Jeff went to high school with my cousin Brent and is interested in doing some social media/online marketing work for Sparrow For Congress…Crap, he was well prepared and I spent most of the hour we chatted answering questions about myself, the campaign and my positions…He had them all written out and I even got some good-natured scolding when my answers took longer than Jeff was looking for.

I think this election is winnable…I need help, of course, any candidate does, of course, and Jeff and his brother Jonathan, who also participated in the chat, seem enthused though no one committed to anything yet…At the end they asked if I had any questions for them and I said no…Brent recommended them and Brent is family so if Brent thinks Jeff is qualified and Jeff thinks Jeff is qualified than ol’ Sparrow should probably hope Jeff wants to get involved and stay out of his way.

Brent is the stepson of my cousin Danny…I haven’t seen him too much over the years, but we caught up a couple of weeks ago and he even sent a contribution to Sparrow For Congress…Danny’s father – my Uncle Dan – and my mother were siblings…Uncle Dan was in the Navy like me and my Dad were and he died a few years back…He and Auntie Muriel hosted the family Christmas Eve gathering for years and I still remember Uncle Dan selling me his desk blotter for $10 when I was ten or so.

Sparrow Sleep Log: 8:30am Sunday morning until 3pm Sunday afternoon…6.5 hours…Typically, I was hoping for a bit more because I do not have the retailer tonight, only Hotel B, but I was up feeling good at 3 for some reason…I would like to blame the cat, but I can’t…I gave her canned yummies when I got home, specifically so she wouldn’t wake me up begging for them…As usual, she trotted into the bedroom and greeted me before losing interest and trotting back out.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 18th century British novel of the same name.

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