The Diary of a Nobody – Sunday, April 29, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, April 29
The bad news out of the garden is the artichokes didn’t make it…The Wife reported that today and it made me sad because along with the robins the artichokes were one of our treats from last year…We let the artichokes bloom, too, we didn’t merely pluck them off and eat them when they were green…Our good fortune because boy oh boy, they put on a show blooming not with leaves but with purple thingys that stick straight up…We ended up with about 12 of them, blooming at different times, so we had purple all summer and I was so thrilled with them I personally took responsibility for watering them…Just for funsies we entered them in the fair won the blue First Premium ribbon, an upgrade from a couple of years ago when The Wife’s turnips won a red Second Premium ribbon.

But maybe the artichokes will be back…They could have left some behind after all and Mother Nature is funny that way…I mean, we don’t do anything to the tulips and they show up every spring for a few weeks…In fact, they’re all over the place now…Last week they debuted in the garden just to the side of the front door and now they’re in the front garden and the heart garden that fronts Main Street as you head into town…All are yellow, too, tho I’ll swear we’ll get some other colors as well.

For the record, The Wife has already identified a nice rhubarb that is growing immediately behind where the artichokes grew as what we are going to enter in the fair this year.

Woke up this afternoon to potential disaster…Before going to sleep this morning (see Sparrow’s Sleep Log below) I put some clothes in the wash, including the pants I’d worn to work…I was taking them out of the washer after getting the coffee on when I noticed both my rollerball and ballpoint pens at the bottom of the washer.

Crap…This could be bad…The ballpoint had been in the pants while the rollerball – a first-class instrument I’ve had for years – had been clipped just beneath the buttons on the polo shirt I’d worn…I would like to say this was a first but that, of course, would be untrue…Ol’ Sparrow is good for washing the ballpoint more or less quarterly and the rollerball every couple of years…The roller ball always survives, tho sometimes the ballpoint is ruined…Sometimes not, tho…It depends and I am not sure on what because Lord knows the washing conditions don’t change…I got lucky this time, tho, as the ballpoint came thru intact and the rollerball didn’t spill any ink, either and both should be good for further duty as is.

Then, horror set it as I sat down at my desk: where was my chapstick???!!!…Because it is kept in the same front pocket as the ballpoint and if the ballpoint went thru the wash then there was the highest level of possibility the chapstick did too because not even I’m stupid enough to take one thing out of a pocket and not the other.

And I had just put the clothes in the dryer!!!…I rushed to the kitchen because chapstick in the dryer can cause real problems…It was still in the pants’ pocket, too, and it hadn’t been in long enough to do any real damage so ol’ Sparrow got off lucky.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 8:30am Sunday morning to 3pm Sunday afternoon…6.5 hours…We are starting to spot a trend here, namely 6-7 hours of sleep on Sundays.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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