The Diary of a Nobody – Thursday April 12, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, April 12
Got the first yard work of the season in today…I started by raking some sticks and small tree branches from the front but soon enough The Wife pulled me for duty in the back garden…This was tuff work at time because my job was to use the four-pronged thingy to turn over the soil, both in the garden and in the strip between the garden and the fence and there are rocks a few inches down (we think there was a rock bed many years ago) and some of the roots were tuff to dig up…Also, I kept stepping on the rhubarb plant, which bravely survived the winter though my beloved artichokes did not.

The artichokes were a treat last year…If your only frame of reference for artichokes is eating the leafy green part you are missing out because when you let them bloom they turn a gorgeous purple and I’m hoping they come back this year…We had about a dozen blooming and they all bloom at different times, so we cut some down and entered four of them in the fair and they won the First Premium Ribbon, which hangs next to the Second Premium Ribbon The Wife won for her turnips two years ago.

After the garden was tilled The Wife went and got a sack of leaves from the side of the carport…I thought she was going to toss them in our trash bag but no, she spread them over the garden soil…I asked about this and she said the leaves had been aging for two years which made me laugh…Some people age scotch, my wife ages leaves.

The lawn will need to be mowed soon.

We suspect – strongly suspect – that the old coffee shop next door is going to be a car rental place, though our only clue is a sign in the back of the contractor’s pick-up saying “Dollar Rent-A-Car”…The edge of a small town might seem to be an odd place for a car rental shop, but the regional airport is, literally, three minutes away and it’s certainly close enough for shuttle service…We still haven’t seen anybody working there, though…The Wife and I were out mid-morning and we didn’t see anyone working there, despite the fact there is a large motorhome, the pick-up and the contractor’s trailer.

Did a full shift at the retailer today and not only was it slow, even worse it was boring…There were no bachelor purchases and I wasn’t even able to trot my trust line about scanning kids because they were half off this week.  

It looked the big excitement of the day was going to be the $2 bill I took in from someone paying cash for a money transfer to Honduras…We seldom see these and it didn’t last long because I soon issued it as change to someone else but then Anacinth ralphed right in the middle of Action Alley and that picked matters up a lot…I had just returned to the service desk from helping a customer find something and Anacinth was in the middle of a transaction when she looked at me and instructed me to take over…She looked terrible, too and she didn’t make it to the bathrooms which are located in the back of the store…We were denied the pleasure of hearing it, but then Anacinth popped her head around the freezer case and requested some towels and I took them and saw it.

I’ll tell you what, I dealt with ralph from time to time working casino security in Vegas…Usually, you’re OK seeing it but get a whiff of it and then it’s tough and I did everything I could not to even look at it….The days when barf is cool to look have long passed.

Then Mary gets in a thrilling conversation with a woman she knows (Mary knows everybody) and the woman is detailing every one of her illnesses and maladies and there is no shortage of them…Good gravy, this was tedious and I was only treated to bits and pieces of the conversation but evidently the lady was stretching known medical boundaries because her case has been referred to the CDC or the NIH or maybe the NCAA for all I know…Or care, really…I’ve never spent a day in the hospital and I have zero prescriptions but Mary likes chatting like this, but I got her out of it when I requested fives and ones for my drawer.

Sparrow Sleep Log: 10pm Wednesday to 7am Thursday morning…9 hours…I also snuck a four-hour nap in Wednesday morning and afternoon so I woke up pretty well rested and offhand I’m thinking we should top last week’s total by a couple-three hours.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 18th century British novel of the same name.

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