The Diary of a Nobody – Thursday, May 10, 2018

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, May 10
Busy day around the house…Got the lawn done and the first watering of the season is in the books PLUS I now know more about what is going on next door than I really care to…It is not – repeat NOT – going to be a car rental joint with easy shuttle service to the nearby airport.

The lawn was a few inches high, higher even than it was for the first mowing a couple of weeks ago and it took some effort, effort I whined about left and right…About halfway thru Jerry – who lives across the small alley from us and whom, you might recall, plowed our driveway with his new tractor over the winter – came out…He was hitching one of his smaller ride-me mowers up to a trailer for transport so he could mow the lawn at his church…He’s retired from the plant now so he has lots of time for things like this.

Anyway, I noted how our lawns are growing like weeds this year and he said yeah and – as neighbors will do – started whining about both that and the number of dandelions that are blooming so well it might well be named Town Flower…Jerry said he used to spray for them but he says the quality of our nation’s pesticides – like the quality of every other goddamned thing – has deteriorated to the point where he doesn’t bother anymore.

(By the by, Jerry pronounces dandelion “DAN-dee-lion”…Dad always pronounced it “DAN-duh-lions” and I do, too.)

Then I asked him if he knew what was going on with the abandoned coffee shop…He said yeah, he did, that some kid with a family had bought it and was turning it into a house…This actually confirms what The Wife had reported a couple of days ago because she had grabbed the bull by the horns and gone up and asked while he was working there…The kid’s name is Devon and later I would meet Devon myself, while he was farting around the abandoned garage and house that are right next to The Shire and part of the Abandoned Coffee Shop Complex he bought…He said he originally wanted to buy in town, but it remains really expensive and apparently, he got a deal on the old coffee shop and he said he is looking forward to making a home in our small town.

After the lawn was done I showered because it is pretty warm today and then I went to the new hardware store in town looking for a sprinkler, one of those moves from side to side and covers a large amount of yard…We had one, but we’d bought it at the retailer and like some things at the retailer, it was pretty cheap and I couldn’t find the old one besides, which is academic because I’d’ve thrown it out had I found it.

The Wife and I also worked on the carport and the shed…We moved the snow blower into the shed and also cleared out the tires…I don’t know how we got so many of them, but there had to be at least ten in there, which The Wife said was proof we really are hillbillies…Of those, only four were usable, two of her winter tires and two of my summer tires…I don’t know why we had bad tires in the shed…When you get new ones they take the old ones for you…Fortunately, our small town is having Town Cleanup Day Saturday, where you can take go and dump all your stuff, including tires…We’ve already loaded my car and I will drop them off Saturday morning when I get home from Hotel A.

In other development news from our small town, there is a sign up at the empty restaurant…It says Broken Yolk which is good because that’s the name of the restaurant that is going in there…It’s right across the street from the post office and the market/hardware store, and there were people milling about inside, however, nowhere on the sign does it say when it will open…Also, as noted, the part facing Main Street still looks depressing…It is actually the back of the building, there’s no entrance and it looks like a dump and I’ve always said to anyone who will listen – basically nobody – that that is why the other three restaurants have failed: it looks like crap from the street.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: Wednesday at 1900 until Thursday at 0700…12 hours, and after having been up for 26 hours, I needed every one of them…For the record, I slept in the brick red house shirt with the windows open!!!…I am not making that up…It had been a gorgeous day and overnight lows were in the 40’s which is Prime Open Window Sleeping Weather (POWSW) if you ask me.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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