The Diary of a Nobody – Tue 5/22/18

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, May 22
Not that it needed it, but the lawn got more rain today while I slept…A pretty fair amount, too…Regular readers of this crap know I whine constantly about the lawn, whining both when it rains and when it doesn’t rain.

I whine it doesn’t rain because then I have to fork over and pay for the water required to keep our lawn green…When it does flood, like it did today, I whine because Christ, this does nothing more than enable the weeds that are three feet high…Almost interesting is the fact the dandelions are not flowering, only the stems are growing…Poor Jerry, our neighbor across the alley, still has his share of flowering dandelions…Maybe they know Jerry’s retired and has the time required to fart around with weeds and that The Wife and I still work and have better things to worry about…I don’t know.

And the long stems are not particularly visible from Main Street so the lawn, at a casual glance, still looks good…If you want to park and waddle up to the fence and look closely sure, you’ll find some things to nitpick, but overall it’s not looking too bad, especially when compared to the meadow next door…The next mowing is scheduled for tomorrow.

Took the old Navy dress blues into the cleaners today for Monday’s Memorial Day ceremony at the cemetery…They still fit – recall I wore them last year – and I’ve been eating well recently to ensure they fit a bit better because they are rather snug…I went to a new cleaners, too, because I’ve never been completely pleased with the old ones and my final Memorial Day ceremony as commander is no place to fart around…One, they sewed on a button for me on a jacket recently and it started falling off two weeks later…Plus, I’ve had complaints with some suits they cleaned and nothing ever really looks particularly well pressed…Turns out they also own the other one I was considering – on the other side of town – but I found another one that gets good reviews.

I also need a haircut so I look sharp under my white hat…I will probably do this Wednesday, probably before doing the lawn, because Manuel is closed Thursday, the most convenient day for me to get a haircut…I could also make Friday work if need be…Recall my last haircut was with Manuel’s compliments after he found out I was running for Congress, but there is no reason to expect that this time.

There was a lady weeping at the retailer tonight…She was using self-checkout and she looked over at me plaintively…She was wearing a surgical mask, too, probably to protect her from our relentlessly fresh mountain air, and a bathing suit she was buying didn’t have a barcode…For this or some other reason she was weeping, pretty good, too…I told her I would find her the price for her bathing suit immediately if not sooner and I wandered off to Apparel…The bathing suit was a 3X and I could only find a 2X on the rack so if there’s a price difference we’re eating the loss but I was determined to stop her weeping…As it was, she continued weeping throughout the remainder of the transaction, so this did not appear to be the problem.

There was a gift certificate from the 50’s diner downtown in my box at Hotel B tonight…Evidently, we sent a large group there and the owner was so thrilled he had gift certificates for all of us at the front desk…The food there is pretty good, especially their meatloaf sandwich on Texas toast…I’m thinking The Wife and I can go there Monday after the Memorial Day ceremony, but I might be tired and we might have to wait.

There are also tennis balls all over the office, too…I wondered why for a while then I noticed they’re pretty well chewed up and it turns out GM Adam, who still lives on property, has a couple of dogs that apparently knock around the office while daddy is working…This is good because it means hotel staff isn’t chewing tennis balls.  

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0915 Tuesday until 1515 Tuesday…Six solid hours and another instance of me waking up because a dream ended…I was in a small town with a feedlot and railroad station parked looking at a map when someone who I apparently knew wandered up and helped me out.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at

Share Gaylon! Go!
This entry was posted in 2018. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *