The Diary of a Nobody/June 2

Q: Is the rollicking thrill ride known as Read Free Fortnight (RFF) rolling on at The Diary of a Nobody?

A: You bet it is, dammit.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, June 2
I think Mark might be in a rut because he has used red ink and blue highlighter for accenting his cash drawer spreadsheets (CDSS) for the past three weeks or so now…Recall he’s mixed them up in the past. 

Now, highlighting your CDSS is radical enuff of course – ol’ Sparrow only does it to highlight the totals when the drawer is short and no one else highlights theirs under any circumstances – but red ink for signing his name and blue to highlight the day, date, totals plus the rakish slash thru is name, has become par for the course now…Maybe next week, just for funsies, I’ll put different colored pens and highlighters near the left computer and see if he bites. 

In the aftermath of the tech refresh, my only real complaint is the system doesn’t highlight a field when you put the cursor in it, a pain in the neck when generating reports…Before the refresh, it would…You would generate, say, the ABC report and then you’d put the cursor in the Report Name field and it would automatically highlight the ABC, enabling you to type in the name of the next report without having to fuss with highlighting the name of the report yourself. 

With the tech refresh, tho, it no longer does that, which is the type of minor tho annoying inconvenience ol’ Sparrow loves to whine about because you simply cannot beat the convenience of a previously populated field being highlighted immediately upon cursor insertion…It enables you to merely type the name of the following report instead of having to go thru the hassle of backspacing away the name of the old report or – horror of horrors – moving the cursor and highlighting it yourself to delete it…So tonight I attempted to do something about it, calling tech support, figuring the Indians had nothing better to do in the middle of my night than listen to my whining.

It’s popular to lament tech support farmed out to foreign countries because they don’t sound like us tho Indians, unlike the Filipinas from the rewards club I talk with occasionally, do have some clue about English inflections and don’t sound like tedious snots, so it helps to have a good attitude and after 17 transfers and corresponding holds I gave every impression of being glad to be talking with an expert. 

Which I was, tho, unfortunately, he wasn’t able to help me…While it was plain he appreciated my clear, concise description of the problem he requested and received permission to access my desktop, so he could see for himself the primitive, post-tech refresh world we are living in…He farted around with it for a while before advising yeah, they could probably do something about this colossal inconvenience, but that it was a deeper problem than he was authorized to handle, adding it was probably a “billable addition”…He added, completely unnecessarily, that this meant it would cost money. 

Well, I am just a humble nite auditor and while I do, of course, retain assorted sweeping powers I strongly suspected those did not include the authorization of “billable additions”, so I thanked him for his time and that was that. 

Greetings from the big city…I took some PTO from the veterans service office (VSO) today for one of my patented Sparrow Working Weekends because yours truly was obliged to work thru the recent, traditional holiday weekend…Those of you keeping score at home will be thrilled to know there is still snow on the ground at some of the higher elevations, usually past 9,000 feet or so. 

The dome still has not adjusted to being shaved regularly and consequently looks like it was attacked with a pair of golf shoes…Years ago when I had first shaved the dome I bought an electric shaver because of weariness at regular bloodlettings and found it unsatisfactory because shaving your head is as much spiritual as it is a look: it’s a good feeling, very good, actually, to run your hands over a dome that is smooth as a baby’s bottom. 

But I thought electric shaver technology may have advanced in the past 15 or so years, so  I bought one at a retailer here in the big city, figuring they’d have a bigger selection than the one in town, which long time readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall is one of the smallest retailers in the country…So I found a retailer that had more people in it than my small town and there was a nice collection of shavers so ol’ Sparrow splurged on what appeared to be a top model and took it to the hotel for a test run.

Unfortunately, electric shaver blade technology has not advanced…Or at least not enuff to satisfactorily shave ol’ Sparrow’s dome, this despite the fact you can now use these things wet…Sigh…All right, experience has shown the dome will adjust to real blades soon enuff and in less than an hour the electric shaver had been purchased, used and returned, Sparrow’s money fully refunded. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: Per standard Wednesday policy, there is no sleep to report today. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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