Why yes, it Read Free Sunday at The Diary.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, May 22
There was a brief moment of horror when yours truly reported for duty at the hotel tonight…I was at the front desk and there was a rather large insulated jug under the right computer station…It easily held a quart and I held it up and asked Assistant Front Desk Manager Q if it was no.
– No, it’s Scott’s.
– Who’s that?
– The new night auditor?
– What??????????????????
Q appeared to see the horror in my eyes.
– Oh, part-time…Amy’s going back to five PM shifts.
Whew, whew and whew…And as you might imagine, Amy going back to full-time afternoons is filling Q with utter dread because even with Amy only working three PM shifts a week she is only three rewards club sign-ups behind Q in the May race and Q is fretting he dominance may well be coming to an end…The analysis from Q:
It’s wide open right now.
It was busy all night…Early on some girls from a high school lacrosse team we have in-house took turns invading the sundry stand, with Chaco-Tacos tonight’s approved post-game snack…The Reese’s ice cream sandwiches got strong action, too, but the girls depleted our entire supply of Chaco-Tacos.
Then 125 wanted two sets of queen sheets because they said there was hair on their current sheets…All right, you don’t argue here (they were actually two of the lacrosse players) you merely verify the room number and the sheet size, go and get them and take them to their room…I told them to throw the contaminated sheets in the hall and I would take care of them…Then they asked I would help them change the sheets and I said no, I have no talent for that, not adding you don’t want to be in a hotel room with two high school girls.
Then there was no small amount of shredding to do and Q – as is his wont – included a bunch of Post-It notes that had such top-secret information on them like sundry items to post to room accounts, random phone numbers and several stickies that appeared to be in some form of Q code…They were all more or less stuck together and it was easier to discard them than try to stuff them in the shredder.
Then this guy phoned looking for a room for next Saturday and Sunday, Memorial Day weekend…I had to look not only to see if we had availability in the first place, but to make sure there wasn’t a Friday night stay requirement as well…Well, we did have rooms, but when I told him the rate was $215 for Saturday and $154 for Sunday he ended up being another wizard who wondered why rates were so high, brilliantly asking if the fact it was a holiday weekend had anything to do with it…He didn’t sound like a cheapskate tho – you can tell those easily – he was merely stupid, tho I did allow that hotels will from time to time raise their rates for busy periods.
It was busy enuff that the pre-audit reports weren’t generated until 0030 and ol’ Sparrow wasn’t back from delivering folios until almost 0200…Then daily project work took longer than usual and then the Internet at the front desk went down for a while and all in all everything wasn’t done until I was done restocking the sundry stand at 0515.
The new cook for the restaurant is pretty funny, tho he’s not really intending to be…He rings the bell at 0550 every morning – ten minutes early – and I stick my head out and nod and say my standard “good morning, I’ll meet you in the back”…The problem is the cook has very little English – far less than my Spanglish – and he usually produces a blank stare and a laff and you get the impression you could probably inform him his mother wore army boots and he’d laff.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0930 Saturday until 2030 Saturday…11.0 hours for the day and 48.0 hours for the week a wonderful total that is only the third-highest weekly total of the month.
I was tired when I got home and didn’t want to fart around, so it was determined to take one of the several sleep aids kept at The Shire…Which one tho???…There’s Zzzz-Sleep, of course, and that new SomSleep drink, but those don’t always work…The only thing that works every time is PM Cold Medicine, so I took a swig of that and BOOM, ol’ Sparrow was dozing off soon enuff and only woke up once to use the can…It was a wonderful rest.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
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