It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, March 21
Assistant Front Desk Manager Q was all over the new policy of not delivering folios to departing rooms anymore…He had the Departure Report printed out and had intricate verbal instructions for me, too.
This was funny…The Departure Report is routinely printed every night and left for my review and I have found it useful in carrying out my duties exactly zero times…It’s not necessary because the system will tell you which rooms need to be billed and have a folio delivered/emailed and which are direct billed or paid thru a third-party and do not…Besides, I’ve never been able to decipher the Departure Report anyway…Except for the name and room number, which even an oaf like me can comprehend, it’s a bunch of codes I’ve never bothered to learn.
But it was plain Q had some effort into this, so ol’ Sparrow nodded appreciatively, not having the heart to tell him the policy had actually been implemented last night.
About 0300 a kid comes in looking for a room…I quote him a rate of $149, plus tax – the 0300-Priced-To-Move Special – and he offers a military ID…I always check to see the rank in case I need to render honors and I noticed he was an E-1 in the Army, the lowest enlisted pay grade…I muttered something about him having just started and instead of keeping his yap shut and saying “yeah” he said he’s actually an E-4 and was about to be promoted to E-5.
Well, this is red flag central because military IDs are updated immediately upon promotion because 1) who in the hell wants an ID that shows a rank lower than what he really is and 2) wearing an E-4 uniform with an E-1 ID card would get you in trouble when you showed your ID to military personnel.
And let me tell you something, I could have caused real problems for him…I could have resorted to an old casino security trick, informing him he could either surrender his ID to me, or he could explain to the constables why his military ID wasn’t up-to-date…I mean, it’s 0300 and they probably do not have a whole hell of a lot else to do and he may very well have been on the lam or had warrants or something…It could have been any number of things because if you’re offering a military ID and feeding me this line of hooey, something’s up.
I didn’t press the matter, tho…While I’m sure impersonating a serviceman, even one claiming to be in the lowest enlisted grade, is a crime I am under no obligation to catch violators of federal law – tho, like you, I applaud their vigorous enforcement – and I didn’t want to cause problems for the kid…Because experience also teaches he may very well have merely been in the possession of a military ID and demented enuff to want to pretend he was in the Army.
I was really strong in the gym this morning…There were three exercises in particular that were pleasing:
1) shoulder side lateral raises…Recently the final two or three reps of the final set of 25-lbs have been done with weights being brought down in front of me, but not today, all ten were done with the weights brought straight to the sides.
2) bicep hammer curls: all ten at 35-lbs were excellent form…In the past, the last couple of reps have been, you know, sort of not excellent.
3) bench press…190-lbs, ten times, which there was no guarantee of…Between blowing off workout last week and having to use the cable chest machine last time, there was no guarantee of this.
The big news is It turns out the Sunday Yapper has had his first chemo session…Recall Thursday he had only mentioned it in passing and he still had his hair, so the conclusion was he hadn’t started it yet, but it turns out he has.
Also like Thursday, he was spotted in the cardio area riding his bike and, because he hadn’t mentioned starting chemo, the thought was some light cycling had replaced chemotherapy as the preferred cancer treatment, but that conclusion was wrong, too.
He was holding court when I reported for my soak somewhat eager, frankly, to get the latest news…There was no shortage of it and I didn’t have a steno pad handy, but here are the highlights:
– He actually started chemo – in the next county, apparently – last week…He said his blood work was checked (when?) and that it “looked good” tho evidently it’s still not good enuff to avoid chemo.
– Cancer be damned, he can’t decide between going surfing in Hawaii later this summer or riding his motorcycle to Seattle to see the grandkids.
– He keeps track of his drinking and he does a handsome amount of it…In fact, he was able to recite seemingly every drink he had, and where and how much, for the past two months.
– He is two years younger than me.
Then the hapless older lady he was holding hostage had to go and, horror of horrors, ol ‘Sparrow’s square in the crosshairs because there is no one else on this side of the hot spring!!!…Oh hell, this could be bad…The lady leaves and the yapper makes some harmless comment the slightest reaction to which will bring a broadside of yapping, but I’m resolute in keeping quiet and soon enuff he sees the futility of yapping with/to a non-yapper and announces he should probably be going.
I completely lost my mind this morning and asked two women on dates…This despite the fact it’s good to be alone right now and am not looking for the commotion of a relationship…The first was Alejandra at the grocery store, the second was Cindy at the gym…Fortunately, specific plans were deferred until later, so both still have time to lose interest.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1600 Sunday until 2130 Sunday…5.0 hours for the day, a lousy start to the sleep week.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
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