The Diary of a Nobody/January 15

Indeed, it’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday. January 15
Every now and then you run into baffling behavior from your co-workers…Recall Wednesday, my last shift before days off, there were 55 pennies in one drawer and 65 in the other, a rare enuff occurrence when a roll of pennies has 50 in them…Also recall that ol’ Sparrow bagged up 50 pennies in each drawer, leaving the remainder in the trays. 

Someone, and I am not making this up, put the bagged pennies back in the trays!!!…Again, I am not making that up…There are no suspects and Lord knows there isn’t a motive and this one may never be solved…Dutifully, yours truly bagged up 50 pennies in each drawer…We’ll see what happens tomorrow. 

Ol’ Sparrow lied tonite, to one of those chicks with the tedious accents from the rewards club who’d called to cancel a reservation for one of the remaining arrivals…I was at the front desk and said I’d be delighted to cancel the reservation without penalty and then she has to go and ask for the cancelation, a reasonable enuff request but because English is her 17th or 18th language and she does not have a grasp on our inflections the request sounded pompous and sanctimonious…As usual, this annoyed me and yours truly was not in any mood to grant her request despite the fact I was standing at the front desk and could be done with her in 30 seconds…The lie was telling her yours truly was away from the front desk and I would be sure to cancel the reservation when I returned…She repeated she could not close this out on her end without the cancelation number.

Crap…This is why lying isn’t a good policy: you keep digging yourself holes, a lesson learned in childhood that ol’ Sparrow was unwilling to consider tonight…Typically, ol’ Sparrow took the easiest way out, putting her on hold as if he were scurrying back to the front desk, canceling the reservation, peevishly making her wait for two minutes, and then picking the phone up and giving her the cancellation number. 

Assistant Front Desk Manager Q was at it again with the Post-It Notes in the shred pile…There is no reason for this because they contained no sensitive information…Hell, the papers could’ve been copied and passed out around town without damage to anyone…The notes included random dollar amounts, what appeared to be notes from a sundry stand sale (water, some Cheez-Its, candy) a seemingly random name and a reminder to put 101 out of order for unspecified reasons…Which begs the question: which dangerous arch-criminal does this relatively useless information need to kept from???…Also unclear is how is this any easier than tossing them in the trash???…Recall Q’s actually been confronted on this one and he just laffed it off. 

The knife got some good use today…First, the plastic wrap covering the water cases needed to be opened for sundry stand restocking (SSRS)…You got to be careful here, of course, because you don’t want to slit a water bottle open, but – like a lot of accidents – that’s avoided easily enuff by paying proper attention to what you’re doing…Then the coffee needed to be replenished in the back office coffee room…It really should’ve been done the nite before but everyone seems content to let ol’ Sparrow do it and the knife is pleased with the work of opening the fresh box and breaking down the old one, so there are no complaints.

After being in a dead heat two days ago, French vanilla – which leads the series 2-to-1 – holds the slightest of leads in Creamer Challenge IV. 

The big news is the retailer’s donut shop knockoff coffee is back in rotation for morning routine…Recall their breakfast blend has been worked in every couple-three cans or so for the past few months and while breakfast blend has its merits, it’s still tuff to beat the donut shop knockoff. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Saturday until 1900 Saturday…9.0 hours for the day and a splendid 54.0 hours for the week.

This is just a smidgen off the all-time high (ATH) of 54.5 hours done the week before Christmas and some research shows it’s also the eleventh 50+ hour sleep week since they started showing up regularly in late September, shortly after yours truly started taking the Chinese root fo ti…God bless fo ti. 


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

 Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.

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