The Diary of a Nobody/January 22

Indeed, it’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 22
There were eight arrivals when yours truly reported for duty…Amy advised that while the weather here has been good, the pass, apparently, was out of hand as was the tunnel on the Interstate that you take from the big city…This was verified by the trickle of guests that arrived throughout the morning, all advising they were happy to have made it after I’d welcomed them. 

One of the arrivals showed up about 0130 or so, after the nite audit had been run, and almost interesting was the fact his credit card had been declined when yours truly tried to authorize so he could be checked in…He got lucky because his room wasn’t rented…It was canceled, of course, and we were otherwise sold out, but nobody called looking for a room, so it was still available when he got here…He was able to produce another credit card and he said the original one had been canceled because of some fraudulent activity…There was no reason not to believe him – and even less reason to care – and regular readers of this crap know this happened to yours truly recently. 

For the first time, I listened to Chris’ wake-up greeting in its entirety…It blew…One, there was no small amount of false happiness, two, he doesn’t ID himself and, three, he doesn’t give the forecast!!!…I am not making that up…Look, you gotta give the forecast…It doesn’t have to be particular in-depth and we certainly don’t need the Farmer’s Almanac seasonal outlook, but it’s useful to let guests know whether or not it’s going to snow and how cold it’s going to be…Ol’ Sparrow would provide guidance on the matter, but he doesn’t pry. 

It was busy most of the nite…There were the arrivals, of course, plus sundry stand sales and guests looking for rooms and 261 called requesting two comforters and two blankets…This is a lot of bedding, frankly, and you don’t have to wonder if there are more people in the room than is legal, but I didn’t ask because I’m the nite auditor and not the warden…It is a suite with a variety of sleeping options and is their lookout and not mine…The good news is both blankets and comforters were in the storage area across from 131, which usually only holds comforters…Head Housekeeper Gloria, as noted here before, runs a really good department and it was hardly the Upset of the Year to see she was prepared…Gloria probably keeps a good house, too, but I can’t be bothered to verify that right now. 

The big news is yours truly farted around with the secret recipe for Spinach a la Sparrow…Recall the old recipe was to throw in some bleu cheese and bacon but, and this might be tuff to believe, bleu cheese has grown a bit wearisome…I am not making that up…I’m as surprised as you are…So I brought some of that Dorothy Lynch dressing, that orange stuff that is the Nebraska state vegetable, and added that and WHAPPO that was delicious…(There was also some butter stolen from the restaurant thrown in.)…The only problem is, some fresh bleu cheese was bought recently, but it already comes with mold on it, so the guess is it will keep until it is back in favor again. 

The Portfolio really took a hit this week, down over 7% overall, with everything in the red for the week…Heck, only the iPhone and the class B stock of that Warren Buffet company are showing profits since buying in last summer. 

While mindful that stock performance should be looked at in a long-term context, just for funsies yours truly did a search on investment alternatives…Gold and real estate came up and so did investing in your own company, which got me thinking about selling out and investing in the hot, new Sparrow LLC…It’s got a couple of hundred in there right now, with the plan being to put more in as needed, but why wait???…The matter was referred to the Sparrow LLC steering committee for further consideration. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Saturday until 2030 Saturday…10.5 hours for the day and 53.5 hours for the week, the second consecutive 50 hour-plus sleep week, a near-record. 

Yours truly was given several options to wake up earlier, at 1430 and then at 1730, 1830 and 1930…Each of these opportunities was passed on, tho, with patented Sparrow RollOvers (SRO) executed each time…At 2030, tho, it was time to get going…Even the cat was standing at the bedroom door wondering what the deal was. 

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

 Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.

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