The Diary of a Nobody/December 1

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, December 1
The first MPG figures for the new ride are in and they’re not too bad: 31.191 MPG for the first full tank of gas…Here are the raw figures: the new ride went 363.5 miles on 11.33 gallons of gas…I thought the MPG figure might have been a bit higher because most of the miles are highway miles heading from The Shire to town, but I’m hardly Mr Gas Mileage, so what do I know. 

Dealt with a nicely drunk lady this morning, after I had heard about her twice…Q reported she had checked in earlier, with a guy, and that she was drunk and after she had been escorted to her room, 102, the guy left…Around 0030 my counterpart at the hotel next door calls – tho at the time I was confused and thought it was a hotel on the way into town – and he has a lady who has a room here but no key…No problem, I said, send her by, I’ll take care of it…OK, he says and hangs up…A few minutes later she shows up because he drove her over, which was when it hit me she was at the hotel next door, which made me feel like a louse because I didn’t go pick her up.

Anyway, she’s still drunk…I ask her name and BOOM there she is, the 102 lady…She has a couple of bags and skis with her and she has trouble finding her ID – which, of course, I need to check to verify she’s entitled to be in 102 – and declares it’s in the room…All right, I take her to 102, open the door and she is too drunk to look for something for more than a couple of seconds and ultimately produced her ski pass…Well, there’s really no doubt she’s the registered guest of 102 and while accepting a ski pass, even with photo, as an ID is hardly out of the Security Handbook, I’d grown weary of her and closed the door and left. 

End of month was done in record time tonite, at 0245…Well, this isn’t technically accurate…At 0245 I still had to print the statements and folios for accounts with open balances, but I can get project work done while doing this so I don’t count it as end of month time…It took a while, too, because the large accounts that stay every night – like the Greyhound drivers and the corporate lodging account – can take 20 minutes to process and printout and, technically, end of month wasn’t done until 0430 and I know all of you are already wondering how long end of month will take in December because not only is it end of month and end of year, but end of decade, as well. 

There was a note for me from GM Barbara requesting that I sign a large stack of Christmas cards the hotel is sending out…I measured and it was an inch-and-a-half of Christmas cards…That’s a lot of John Hancocks, more than yours truly wants to produce, frankly, and I was surprised to see people had the same signature the whole way thru…My signature – as distinctive as it is illegible – would look like a cat scratch in short order, so I varied it: different pens, varying signatures, sometimes only an initial…It was a pain in the keister and I made a mental note to have a stamp made for next year. 

Had a good workout today…There was some question whether or not I’d make an appearance in the gym tonight because I slept later than I’d planned (see Sleep Log below)…The Wife and I are no longer celebrating Sunday Spaghetti Nite (SSN), so that wasn’t an issue…SSN has been replaced with green juice for the time being…We’ve juiced off and on over the years and it is currently back in favor and I gotta be honest, I feel better with juice and my usual post-workout nutrition. 

The big news is I actually shared the gym, rare at any time but especially on Sunday night, which is hardly prime workout time…There was a guy about my age when I got there…He came down from upstairs, where the cardio machines are, and farted around on one of the cable machines before leaving and about a half-hour later a kid comes in…He looks like a wrestler and he worked his shoulders exclusively. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Sunday until 1830 Sunday…8.5 hours for the day, a good start to the sleep week. 

Here are the sleep figures for last week, for the month as well as the Rolling 3-Month Total (R3MT):

Last Week: 45.5 total hours
Monthly Average: 47.3 hours/week, a fine figure.
R3MT: 48.166 hours per/week, per month. 

God bless all of you.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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