The Diary of a Nobody/May 12

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, May 1
I was relieved late at the hotel this morning and, actually, I thought I got off easy getting relieved at 0730 because I thought I was going to be there until 0900…Tammy usually comes in at 0700 on Sunday mornings but Front Desk Manager Candace, for reasons we’re all certain she thought good, switched things up so Tammy came in at 0900 and Denise at 0700.

Well, Denise misread the schedule…She could have sworn it said 0800 instead of 0700 and I told her don’t worry about it…I get relieved late here so infrequently it is really a matter of no consequence and I dismissed the matter with a wave, tho Denise saw fit to apologize 17 times.

That was really all the action I had…Occupancy was 50 rooms, about half full when you take out the rooms being renovated, but most everybody was in bed early, save for four guys who came by after the bars closed downtown…They all wanted waters the $1 bottled waters – the premium ones are $2.50 – and I couldn’t be bothered to log in to the front desk computer, so I told them their water was with my compliments.

Heck, visiting The Wife at the retailer this morning was more eventful than my shift at the hotel…She was actually manning the service desk – my old stomping grounds, of course  – when I waddled in because Supervisor Patty was off using the can…The first thing I did was make a pest of myself by trotting out the same joke you say to everybody who just bought a new car:

What happened to your new car, honey???…Who smacked into it???

The ensuing look horror was worth the grief I was obliged to take when I told her nothing was wrong with her new car…Then Patty walks up and smacks me from behind with some paperwork she was carrying, which surprised the hell out of me and then The Wife informed me she has lost the keys to her old car…Good gravy, she’s not even driving it anymore and she’s still losing the keys…She said she went out to the old car – now parked next to the shed near the alley – to get some things and she could’ve sworn she put the keys around her neck (they’re on a lanyard to prevent them being lost) but now she can’t find them…Regular readers of this crap know The Wife loses things fairly regularly and they always turn up so I wasn’t too worried, tho as I recall we don’t have a backup set, so if they were lost we’re screwed…As it was, when I got home I would find them in the bathroom, about par for the course.

Bought some bird seed while I was at the retailer, too…Any guy married for more than two minutes knows there are some battles you fight and some battles you don’t fight, and I’ve waved the white flag on the bird seed front: I now buy the premium bird seed…The Wife prefers it to the 500 lbs-for-a-dollar crap I still prefer, and I suppose there is some merit to her claim we get nicer birds with the primo stuff, tho we’re hardly running an arboretum here at The Shire.

I also bought some batteries for my flashlight…The wrong ones, as it turned out…I have a small flashlight I used to use working security in Sin City…It’s small and clipped nicely on my belt when I was a manager and wore a suit to work and I blew some money on it and it is a first-class piece of gear…I seldom need it anymore, but it needed a new battery and it’s one of those normally used in cameras…They had two that looked like the ones it took and I thought the smaller one was what I needed but when I got home no, it turned out I needed the bigger one…I could probably take them back to the retailer – regular readers of this crap know I’ve accepted returns of this sort – but it was my fault…I should have known for sure when I went.

I was a flurry of activity today…I woke up around 1400 and thought damn, I could get to the gym and back before The Wife gets home from work and scoots off to Sin City to see her kids for two weeks, so that’s what I did…It was my third workout since starting up again and I’m already a bit stronger in the smaller muscles, like biceps and triceps, tho I’ve stayed the same on the bench press…I’ve also upped the number of body weight squats I do between sets from 10 to 15…You gotta be careful with squats…You do them to failure each time and you won’t be able to walk the next day and it’s best to work your way up to a good number.

The Wife wasted no time when she got home, either…She was packed and ready to go, kissed me goodbye and was off…She is actually driving for four hours and staying in a hotel tonight. 

Then I completely lost my mind and did the lawn…I was feeling strong and there was lots of daylight left…The mower spit out more white smoke at start-up then I liked to see, but it settled down and while my ardor for mowing the lawn is not what it was when we bought The Shire, it is still nice to look out at a freshly mowed lawn.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Sunday until 1400 Sunday…5.0 hours, about what I was looking for, frankly…I’d slept well the past two days and really didn’t need a ton of sack time, so when I woke up I went and used the can and put some coffee on.  

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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