The Daily Dose/Friday, August 31, 2018

The Daily Dose/August 31, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The NCAA has cleared Michigan State University of any NCAA rules violations in connection with the sexual abuse committed by former employee Dr Larry Nasser, and in connection with how it responded to similar allegations against some of its athletes.

This is both believable and unbelievable, which may seem wishy-washy, but we’re dealing with the NCAA, the biggest combination of pimp, whore and john in the country.

It’s believable, somewhat, because the NCAA isn’t the FBI. They sanction collegiate sports and the violations they are generally concerned with are competitive in nature.

It is unbelievable because Nassar is spending the rest of his life prison for abusing Michigan State athletes! There has to be some rule in some NCAA manual somewhere that at least frowns on this. And if there isn’t, if keeping a sex abuser on staff and then ignoring pleas of sexual abuse does not violate your rules, maybe you need some new rules.

Today At The Site
Chef Sparrow makes hotcakes on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Plus Sparrow and The Wife risk annoying the incumbent sheriff by putting signs up for his opponent in their yard. And there is a 13.5-hour entry in the latest Sleep Log.

Mable Newcomer, an American economist, has The Thought for the Day, a quote about knowing where we are going and not mistaking activity for achievement.

On This Date
In 1888 – The first confirmed victim of the infamous British serial killer Jack the Ripper is murdered. Her name was Mary Ann Nichols and she was murdered about 3am while plying her trade as a prostitute, trying to earn her night’s lodgings. At least five murders are attributed to Jack, all involving slashed throats and mutilated abdomens. The name Jack the Ripper came from a letter to police from someone claiming to be the murderer, a letter that is believed to be a hoax. The murderer’s identity remains unknown.

In 1894 – Billy Hamilton of the Philadelphia Phillies becomes the first major leaguer to steal seven bases in a game in an 11-5 victory over the Washington Nationals in the second game of a doubleheader. An earlier instance of this feat, in 1881 by George Gore of Chicago, came before stolen bases were officially recorded. The record still stands.

In 1963 – Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Country Singles chart for the sixth of seven consecutive weeks. Cash’s future wife June Carter is given credit as co-writer, but Cash’s first wife insists Cash wrote the song and gave her credit because Carter needed the money. It was Cash’s sixth of 13 #1 songs on the country chart and went to #17 on Billboard’s Hot 100.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The major league record for most home runs in a game by one team is 10, by the Toronto Blue Jays on September 14, 1987.

Today’s Stumper
What was Johnny Cash’s biggest hit on the Billboard Hot 100? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
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