The Diary of a Nobody/Friday, August 31

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, August 31
We’ve had some rain lately, so today was the first watering I’d done in the garden in a while…Parts of the gardens are starting to call it a season and the lawn doesn’t grow as fast which is good because my interest in mowing it is waning.

The onions I’d had such high hopes for are not turning out all that big…We’re not going to send them to the cocktail onion factory, but they’re pretty disappointing…I pulled one out today just to see what the deal was and it was pretty scrawny…It’s a good thing we didn’t enter any of them in the fair because they probably would have kicked us out of town for entering crap like that.

This is one of the reasons I don’t see the point of gardening…You invest months of time and water taking care of them for what turns out to be one salad or barely enough onions for a burger…I’m not Mr Finance or anything, but you probably spend exponentially more for three onions than you would for a 20 lb sack of them…Still, tho, they are living things and I do enjoy keeping them alive, which is pointless, too, because if you leave them in the ground eventually they’ll shrivel up like the rhubarb did, or freeze when the weather turns.

Got off a really good line at the retailer tonight, a certified, gen-you-wine Line of the Year candidate…Anacinth came by to purchase some things…I forget what, but they came out to $7.34 and before we go any further it will be useful to know that Anacinth is infamous for buying clothes and shoes when they go on clearance, tho she is careful not to pay more than a dollar for them…I think she sends them back to her native Jamaica and someone she knows sells them and they split the profits, but I don’t know for sure, nor do I particularly care.

Anyway, I ring up her crap and she only has seven one dollar bills of the $7.34 she owes, and she whines that she can’t believe she doesn’t have more money on her…The line from ol’ Sparrow:  

Yeah, I can’t believe it, either…You never pay more than a dollar for anything, ever…You should have loads of cash.

It got the laffs a Line of the Year candidate deserves…I even laffed because it is a pretty good line and Anacinth makes enough fun of me to have enjoyed it, too.

Towards the end of the shift a guy comes in looking for some sewing thread…If you had requested Central Casting send over a typical small mountain town stoner, they would have sent him, tho he doesn’t appear to be too high…He asks if we have sewing thread and I said sure, we have a pretty nice selection, actually, and I ask him to follow me…I walk him about halfway up the main aisle so the wall sign in the far corner is visible…It says Crafts and Sewing and I point at it and say it’s over there in the corner and in a funny, sarcastic manner he points, too, and asks if I meant over there, where it says ‘sewing’ in the wall…What’s funny is I can’t tell if he’s just having fun or if he really thinks I’m patronizing him, but I purse my lips solemnly anyway and nod my head…He heads over and later I see him as he is heading out…I asked if he found his sewing thread.

Yeah, that was fun…I think I’ll smoke another bowl and do it again.

Puja is back from her vacation and it’s official, we are the only two working the front desk at Hotel A…Since I only work two nights a week., that means she is working three shifts a day the other five days…This is unreal…Now, it’s not too busy overnights, as I prove every week, but still…An 0300 phone call or someone needing a key and the next thing you know are not getting any sleep at night…She said she had a college student looking for some swing shift work coming in for an interview, and she certainly complaining, but this has to get old really quick.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0230ish Friday until 0900 Friday…The downside, of course, to sleeping 13.5 hours one night is you are not particularly tired the following night, but I made some good progress on the infernal Alexander Hamilton biography I am still reading...I mean, I know the book ends, but it never seems to be getting any closer.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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