The Daily Dose/Tuesday, June 18, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 18, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Regular readers of this crap know that from time to time we’ve pontificated on sports records that we consider unbreakable, with our list being shorter than most because our theory is that if something can be done once, it can probably be done again, especially since us humans are bigger, faster, and stronger than we were in the past. This list does not include certain baseball records from the 1800s where teams only had one or two pitchers.

Today we are pleased to announce the addition of another record to the list. Before raise the curtain on the newest entry, let’s take a look at the records it is joining:

  1. Wilt Chamberlian’s 55 rebounds in an NBA game, 1960. That is a rebound a minute, plus you got to muster up seven more somewhere. Good luck with that.
  2. Johnny Vander Meer’s consecutive no-hitters, 1938. Ha! No one ever, ever, ever will pitch three consecutive no-hitters. This mark isn’t even in any danger of being tied, frankly.
  3. John Isner/Nicolas Mahoot’s 70-68 fifth set at Wimbledon, 2010. Good gravy, 70-68 for a set is what you pretend on tennis courts as a kid. “Dude, 69-68 at Wimbledon” “Dude, that can never happen.” It wasn’t reasonable to expect it to happen once, must less again. New rules for tiebreakers in tennis now make this record impossible to break.

Number four is a baseball performance from 1915. Its anniversary was Monday and we featured it in our popular On This Date segment. On June 17, 1915, George Zabel of the Chicago Cubs pitched 18 ⅓ innings in relief, the longest relief appearance in major league history. The Cubs were hosting Brooklyn that day and starting pitcher Bert Humphries took a drive to his pitching hand and had to leave the game. Zabel faced 78 batters and the game was tied 3-3 after nine innings and each team scored a run in the 15th inning before the Cubs won it in the 18th. 

Actually, we were surprised we weren’t aware of this record because few know the big league record book like we do. We have two copies and have read every page of it. But we’re not omniscient, though as soon as we read about the achievement we immediately placed it on this list.

This record is so safe it isn’t even funny. Pitchers hardly pitch 18 innings in a week anymore no major league pitcher anywhere at any time from now until the second coming are in any danger whatsoever of breaking this record. Good, because Zabel soon developed a sore arm and was out of the big leagues at the end of the season.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyThe drunk that Sparrow found in a hotel hallway calls the hotel early in the morning. Today’s Diary. 

Well, he called this morning, about 0553, looking for copies of his receipt…It’s a simple matter to email them but this kid is incapable of getting anything whatsoever right the first time, so a few minutes later he calls back wondering where the hell the taxes are on the bill…I told him government agencies don’t pay taxes on rooms, only nightly rate, and then he wondered why the rates differ…I was worried that such a technical response might be more than he could comprehend, – recall he can’t even find his assigned room without supervisorial help – and I explained government rates are set by contract and there wasn’t much we could do about them…He then made some noises not normally associated with human communication and I thought he was going to demand an immediate renegotiation of the contract, but he said OK and hung up.  

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1940 – Winston Churchill, prime minister of Great Britain for a bit more than a month, delivers the “This was their finest hour” speech before the British House of Commons. Churchill, who knew a good speech when he wrote one,  continued to modify and improve on it even while the speech was in progress. It was the third and final famous speech he gave during the Battle of France. On May 13, he gave the “Blood, toil, sweat and tears” speech and on June 4 he made his “We shall fight on the beaches speech.

1974 – The American Basketball Association officially closes when four teams – the Denver Nuggets, Indiana Pacers, New York Nets and San Antonio Spurs – officially join the NBA. Two other teams, the Kentucky Colonels and the Spirits of St Louis, fold, with Colonels owner John Brown receiving $3 million and the Spirits of St Louis owners agreeing to receive $2 million and a 1/7th share of the four new teams’ TV revenue. Brown would later own the Buffalo Braves and then the Boston Celtics, while Silna brothers are still receiving NBA TV revenue.

In 1955 – In The Jailhouse Now by Webb Pierce is at #1 on Billboard’s Most Played in Juke Boxes chart – one of three predecessors to their current country chart – for the 16th of a record-tying 21 consecutive weeks. It was the second of three straight #1 songs of his that would spend 39 consecutive weeks at #1 and all told Pierce spent 47 weeks at #1 in 1955. In The Jailhouse Now was the third song to spend 21 weeks at #1 on a country chart, a record that stood until 2013. The record is now held by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line who spent 50 weeks at #1 with Meat To Be in 2017-18.

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, “This was their finest hour.
Winston Churchill

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Shape of You by Ed Sheeran was Billboard’s biggest song of 2017.

Today’s Stumper
What act before Webb Pierce spent the most consecutive weeks at #1 and the most weeks overall at #1 in a calendar year on a Billboard country chart? – Answer next time!


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