It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, September 2
A Leisurely Night
As much as you can look forward to earning a living, we were looking forward to tonite at the hotel…One, it was the first day of slow season…Two, it was the first shift after end of month, always nice because it is far less busy…Three, we have Tuesday nite off, and after a summer of 95% occupancy, we were looking forward to a leisurely nite…We were not disappointed…In fact, we were so at leisure we were actually in danger of falling behind, before we got on the stick and got back on some semblance of a schedule. 

Laughs With The Assistant Front Desk Manager
The Assistant Front Desk Manager (AFDM) was processing a new reservation when he noted how hilarious it was when a guest’s last name matched one of our ten thousand rate codes…In this case, the guest’s last name was Ivani when, when capitalized, happens to be the rate code for reward club stays…So, feeling silly and with no guests presenting themselves for service, we compounded the nonsense. 

– It would be funny if a party named Imgov made a reservation.
IMGOV is the rate code for government employees and usually corresponds to their per diem, although not always…The AFDM then went on to detail other rate codes that would make nonsensical last names, which isn’t all that tuff because all rate codes here begin with the letter I and most are all consonants…After several of these, we turned toward him, showed a palm, pursed our lips, and nodded:
– I think this evolution peaked at Imgov…We can stop anytime….

The AFDM also did some whining, as Keenan has, about how low our rates are at online sites now, with some guests in-house now for $79 a nite, a really low rate…Especially when you consider others took it in the shorts tonite at double that…The AFDM noted that our rates online now fluctuate because of a new AI tool that automatically changes rates based on what others are charging…So when others start to undercut us, we can adapt on the fly, without a human having to keep tabs on matters…Our rates are generally the highest in town, so it’s no surprise when someone, say Hotel A or B lowers theirs, then we do, too. 

The Latest On The Scratch Paper Front
The big news – and it’s pretty big – is that ol’ Sparrow went and bought a ruler specifically to facilitate the cutting of scratch paper!!!…I am not making that up…Longtime readers of this crap no doubt recall the back office had a couple of strait edges that were sufficient for this task, but those disappeared and when we got back on our scratch paper kick, the rulers were nowhere to be found…The Front Desk Supervisor (FDS) took pity on my plight and brought one in from his office but, recall, it was unsatisfactory…We do not like spending money for things at work, but this is serious: the scratch paper supply must be kept up to standard…Our writing is so big that Post-It Notes simply are not cutting it anymore.

So now we’re making scratch paper left and right again, which led to an innovation on par with the incandescent lite bulb: we started keeping scratch paper out front at the front desk!!!!…I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP!!!

Why we haven’t been doing this marvel every nite for the past seven years will never be clear because we need scratch paper at the front desk and not only in the back office…We put a good amount out there, and we’ll see if there’s any left when we come back Monday. 

An Adorable Couple
Early on we got a phone call from a woman plainly in her 80s…She announced she was lost and when we asked if she knew where she was, her husband chimed in that they were “fucking lost” which was pretty funny…It turned out they were near the retailer, so we told them to get back on the highway and head out of town…They asked if that was east or west and we had to think about it for a second, because in this part of town the highway actually runs north/south, tho its ultimate direction is east. 

It took them a while to get here, and the AFDM handled their check-in…They showed their age, frankly and, adorably, both were plainly looking out for the other…Check-in took a while because their minds were starting to go, and while the AFDM gave good directions to room 104, they had trouble understanding them and they might as well’ve been directions to Tucumcari, New Mexico for all the good it did them, and ol’ Sparrow ended up escorting them to their room. 

A Conundrum
All morning we were debating what to do for breakfast, whether to go to the Mexican joint in the next county or stay in town and go to the fast-food joint…There were a variety of factors to consider, all conspiring to make the choice easy. 

• One, we really didn’t want to leave town;
• Two, we really didn’t need anything at the retailer in the next county; and,
• Three, we had started to yawn about 0400 and really wanted to get sleep soonest. 

So we stayed in town and went to the fast food joint…Keenan had suggested the restaurant and, frankly, a stack of their hotcakes sounded good – especially with our half-off employee discount – but their butter is hard and unspreadable, which annoys me. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log
1100 Tuesday until 1830 Tuesday…7.5 hours for the day and 22.5 hours for the week.  

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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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