The Diary of a Nobody/January 6

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, January 6, 2022

The Daily Dose/January 6, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes From Around Our Human Experience

Leading Off is running intermittently. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Today’s Diary entry is with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with a friendly drunk. Today’s Diary. 

I was counting a drawer when he comes in the door and stands there like a general surveying an unfamiliar battlefield…You get this from time to time and it’s usually a trusty indication of a drunk: he’d just successfully negotiated automatic doors after all and needs time to get his bearings…

Today’s NFL Bottom Ten is on the house.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19 – There’s still one more week to go in the race for The Dan Henning Trophy and it continues to be a catfight between the Jaguars and the Lions. 

Owner Genghis Khan all smiles as team on verge of second straight B-10 title…Still though, staff members keeping swords sharp for mandatory beheadings should Jaguars win finale…

In tightest weekly voting ever for Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division – NFC North gets nod over AFC South due to having three (3) teams below .500, megalomaniac Aaron Rogers in division.

With new logo coming next month, B-10 pollsters considered reissuing moderately funny line about putting play diagrams on helmets instead of numbers, but decided not to…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march. 

In 2021 – An insurrection at the United States Capitol – an attempt to overturn the Electoral College results of the 2020 presidential election – is held by supporters of President Donald Trump, who encouraged them. Rioters occupied the capitol building for several hours resulting in five deaths and the evacuation of Congress. Four responding police officers later killed themselves. The insurrection happened despite there being no constitutional method to overturn the results and Trump later told supporters to disperse and the Capitol was clear by nightfall. 

In 1951 – The Indianapolis Olympians and Rochester Royals establish a new NBA record for the longest game at Edgerton Park Arena in Rochester. The Olympians defeated the Royals 75-73 in six overtimes to break the record of five done by the Anderson Packers and Syracuse Nationals in November 1949 and the record still stands. The Olympians folded in 1953 and the Royals are now the Sacramento Kings. 

In 1973 – Carly Simon is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first three consecutive weeks with You’re So Vain. The song also went to #1 in Australia, New Zealand and Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, was Billboard’s 9th-biggest song of the year and remains Simon’s only #1 song. Though some, including Warren Beatty, think the song refers to Warren Beatty, Simon has said only the second verse refers to him, and that other men are the subjects of the rest of the song. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Let everyone mind his own business, and endeavor to be what he was made.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Beatles had Billboard’s #1 song in a calendar year twice, in 1965 (I Want to Hold Your Hand) and 1969 (Hey Jude). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What’s the longest NBA game played this century? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19

This week’s NFL Bottom Ten is with the compliments of the Bottom Ten pollsters. Enjoy.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19
By Gaylon KentAmerica’s Funniest Guy™ 

Showing that midseason coaching changes can show end-of-season Bottom Ten results, the Jacksonville Jaguars continue to show the way in the race for the most coveted trophy in sports, The Dan Henning trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy. 

Still though, veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know the race for coveted spots on the Bottom Ten medal stand remains wide open and will come down to the final false starts, dropped passes and clutch turnovers of the season. 

This week’s fiasco as the nags stumble across the sixteenth pole: 

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The Diary of a Nobody/January 5

Today’s entry is on the house. Enjoy. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, January 5
AND MARK BREAKS OUT THE GREEN INK AGAIN!!!

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Monday, January 3, 2022

We will be taking a day or two off. Thank you for understanding. – gk

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, January 2, 2022

The Daily Dose/January 2, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things. 

The Sunday Bottom 5 will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. Enjoy.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow spots a hooker at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Recall yours truly as significant professional experience with hookers and knows one when he sees one…

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march. 

In 1981 – Peter Sutcliffe, known as the Yorkshire Ripper, is arrested in central England after the car he had been pulled over in turned out to have forged plates. Sutcliffe was charged with 13 murders from 1975-80 and a guilty plea was not accepted by the judge. His trial began in May, took two weeks, and resulted in convictions on all charges. Sutcliffe, who believed God sent him to Earth to kill prostitutes, was sentenced to multiple life sentences without parole and died of natural causes this past November. 

In 1983 – Ken Anderson of the Cincinnati Bengals establishes new NFL records for most consecutive completions in a game and highest completion percentage in a season in a 35-27 win over the Houston Oilers. Anderson finished the season with a 70.55 completion percentage to break the record of 70.33% established by Sammy Baugh in 1946 and his 20 consecutive completions established a new record, though research into whose record Anderson broke was inconclusive. Both marks have been topped several times since. 

In 1965 – The Beatles are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with I Feel Fine. The song went to #1 in many other countries including Norway and Great Britain and due to when it charted it did not make either Billboard’s 1964 or 1965 year-end charts. It was the seventh of a record 20 #1 songs for the group and the first of a then-record six consecutive #1 songs, a record later tied by the Bee Gees and now held by Whitney Houston (7). 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

No man ever followed his genius till it misled him.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The 1923 Rose Bowl was the first played in the current stadium. USC defeated Penn State 14-3

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many times did the Beatles have the #1 song in a calendar year? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/January 1

Yes, it’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 1
An alarm was going off in the back office when yours truly arrived at the hotel and, not too surprisingly, Amy wasn’t at the front desk…She’s back a bit later, tho, with Gavin the Tech and then Gavin starts farting around with the back office alarm panel and then Amy leaves, but not before reporting it’s the system acting up, there really isn’t an emergency anywhere.  

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, January 1, 2022

The Daily Dose/January 1, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off is running intermittently while we work on a project. Thank you for understanding. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is not entirely thrilled with the humidifier he bought. Today’s Diary. 

Well, it does make a modest difference, but it’s hardly making the cabin feel like the Deep South…

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march. 

In 45 BC – The Julian calendar takes effect throughout the Roman Empire and much of the Western world. The calendar reckoned a year as 35.25 days, a bit longer than an actual solar year with the calendar losing a day every 128 years and eventually falling out of synch with the season. The Julian calendar would remain prominent until the 16th century when it began to be replaced around the world by the Gregorian calendar. The Julian calendar is still in use in, among other places, parts of the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox churches. 

In 1902 – Michigan defeats Stanford 49-0 in the first Rose Bowl – then known as the Tournament East-West Football Game – at Tournament Park in Pasadena, now an athletic field at Cal Tech. The game was called with eight minutes left in the game and was thought to be such a failure the second Rose Bowl wasn’t played until 1916. The game has been played in Pasadena every year except 1942 when it was moved to Duke University in Durham, North Carolina following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. 

In 1972 – Melanie is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Brand New Key. The song also went to #1 in four other countries including South Africa and Canada, peaked at #4 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 9th-biggest song of the year. It was the third Top 40 hit for Melanie, her second Top 10 song and remains her only #1 hit. Melanie, born Melanie Safka in New York City, said in an interview she wrote the song in 15 minutes. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

In general, there is a pleasure in contemplating any work of true art; and it is the mark of a civilization to provide the soul with works worthy of such contemplation.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol II: The Life of Greece

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Steven Asmussen has the most wins by any US thoroughbred trainer with 9,582, a record that is currently active. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When was the Rose Bowl first played in its current stadium? – Answer next time!  

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The Diary of a Nobody/December 31

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The Daily Dose/Friday, December 31, 2021

The Daily Dose/December 31, 2021
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Editor’s Note: We – generally – take great pleasure in providing fresh content, but today’s Leading Off segment is more or less a rehash of the past couple of New Year’s Eve columns. 

2020 2021, 2022: On It!: As you read this the planet has been ringing in the new year for several hours already. 2022 started at 3 am Mountain Standard Time (MST) almost due south of Hawaii with festivities in the Christmas Island and Kiribati, despite the fact these places should be east of the International Date Line and amongst the last to leave 2020.

Dry, Technical Matter: 15 minutes later the Chatham Islands celebrated and at 6 am MST New Year celebrations began in much of Australia.

Do You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More (Any) Parties: The International Date Line is an imaginary line of demarcation more or less at 180 degrees longitude, directly opposite the Prime Meridian (0 degrees longitude). It veers east and west though, to accommodate assorted international borders.

Dry, Technical Matter II: Kiribati changed its position vis-a-vis the International Date Line in the 1990s after it acquired territory that caused it to straddle the International Date Line. So, in accordance with international convention, it moved the dateline east so it was completely west of it, placing it in the first group of jurisdictions to make a new year.

Hey, Gaylon, Come To Our Party…Well, Nevermind: The International Date Line is so jury-rigged Samoa is one of the first to ring in 2022 while American Samoa, a mere 100 or miles to the east of Samoa, is the last inhabited place on the planet to enter 2022.  

Oh, Jesus H: Both Baker Island and Howland Island, uninhabited US possessions near the equator, are the last places to enter a new year, doing so Saturday morning at 5 am Mountain Standard Time.

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: Due to the bastardizing of the International Date Line, it now takes 26 hours for a planet theoretically divided into 24 time zones to have everyone ring in the new year.

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter II: It’s already 2021 at the South Pole, too. They have 24 time zones to choose from because all of them converge at Amundson-Scott Station, but because virtually all access to the South Pole is from New Zealand, they keep New Zealand time.

The Bottom Line: As long as New Year’s Eve remains the last day of the year, we will continue to trot this column out. Thank you for reading. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow chooses to do as little as possible. Today’s Diary. 

This quest was neither arduous nor unrewarded…

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march. 

In 1991 – The last remnants of the Soviet Union officially dissolve as the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) takes over the few remaining bureaucratic and diplomatic functions of the central government and the UN recognizes Russia as the Soviet Union’s successor. The USSR had been leaderless since President Mikhail Gorbachev’s resignation on Dec 25 and the country’s legislature had dissolved both itself and the country the following day. Research into exactly what the remaining bureaucratic functions were was as exhaustive as it was inconclusive. 

In 1953 – Bill Shoemaker wins one race at Santa Anita, finishing the year with an all-time US record of 485 wins. Shoemaker broke the record of 390 established by Anthony DeSpirito the year before and his record stood for 20 years when Sandy Hawley rode 515 winners in 1973 and the record is now 598, done by Kent Desormeaux in 1998. Shoemaker retired in 1990 with a then-record 8,883 wins and died in 2003. 

In 1983 – Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth of six consecutive weeks with Say, Say, Say. The song went to #1 in five other countries including Norway and peaked at #2 in Great Britain and on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Billboard’s 3rd-biggest hit of 1984, its 8th-biggest of the decade and ranked 44th on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was the 29th appearance at #1 for McCartney and the 10th for Jackson.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It is remarkable how little concern men seem to have for logic, statistics and, even, indeed, survival: we live by emotion, prejudice, and pride.
Dwight Eisenhower

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Kenny Rogers had two #1 songs in Great Britain, Lucille (one week, 1977) and Coward of the County (two weeks, 1980). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who currently holds the record for most career horse racing wins by a trainer in the US? – Answer next time!  

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