The Daily Dose/Sunday, May 3, 2020
The Daily Dose/May 3, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. COVID-19 – Numbers still impressive, with 3.4 million total cases, 2.1 million current cases and 244,870 worldwide deaths reported…Numbers still not too impressive as worldwide infection rate now at 0.000454%, with death rate at 0.0000318%, with US totals a tad higher, with daily totals going down the past few days, though it should be noted figures have fluctuated in the past.
2, Election 2020 – America 184 days away from heralding to the world – and themselves, frankly – whether they are going to tolerate the status quo or make some changes, toss America aside the scrap heap of history or restore it to relevance…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” America will stay the course, but still officially holding out hope.
3. Lockdown 2020 – Restrictions being eased somewhat, including here in Colorado where stay at home suggestions being interpreted as do whatever the hell you want orders.
4. Gaylon For US Senate – Vote Early, Vote Often, Non-Resident Voter Programs both running into snags with state officials before June 30 primary for Colorado Libertarian US Senate nomination. Click here to contribute to Gaylon For US Senate right now as campaign cannot be financed with personal debit card.
5. Fake News Recap – We deserve better than the wholesale fact-checking and fake news we are obliged to put up with, but Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters thrilled it’s there to fill spot in vaunted weekly survey. Click here for this week’s fake news round-up.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow really needs a haircut. Today’s Diary.
Growing up, Pa Sparrow gave me those lousy home haircuts up until eighth grade…I still remember the last one; he had the clippers going near an ear and then he said a couple of words I was not allowed to say and them something or other about it not showing at all in a couple of weeks…
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On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1960 – The Fantastiks, about two fathers who trick their kids into falling in love by pretending to feud, debuts at the Sullivan Street Playhouse in Greenwich Village, New York City. The production would not close until January 13, 2002, after 17,162 performances and it remains the world’s longest-running musical and the longest uninterrupted show of any kind in the United States. The play had originally premiered in 1956 in New Mexico, titled Joy Comes to Deadhorse.
In 1987 – Joe Cowley of the Philadelphia Phillies appears in his final major league game, pitching two-thirds of an inning in a 9-6 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. Cowley has no decision in the game and retires shortly thereafter On Sept 19, 1986, Cowley, then with the Chicago White Sox, had pitched a no-hitter against the California Angels, his last major league win and he remains the only pitcher whose last major league win was a no-hitter.
In 1969 – Aquarius/Let The Sun Shine In by The 5th Dimension is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth of six consecutive weeks. The song, from the musical Hair, was the first of two #1 songs for the group (Wedding Bell Blues, three weeks, 1969) and was their third of six Top 10 hits. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #11 in Great Britain and at #6 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Billboard’s second-biggest song of the year and placed 73rd on their 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Some swear by you, some swear at you. – Staff Sergeant Matthew McKeon, USMC
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The last extra-inning no-hitter in the major leagues was pitched by Francisco Cordova (9 innings) and Ricardo Rincon (1 inning) of the Pittsburgh Pirates, who combined for a 10-inning no-hitter on July 12, 1997, a 3-0 win over the Houston Astros.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was The 5th Dimension’s final Top 10 hit? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/May 2
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, May 2
I washed the new stuff from yesterday; the matching tablecloth and napkins and the new Pendleton shirt…I did them separately, too…The big news is the table cloth, 100% cotton, shrunk…I washed it in warm water as it said but I probably should have gone cold and it actually worked out because it fits the table fine now without having to fold it…Well, it’s a smidgen long on the sides, but on the ends, it looks pretty good. Continue reading
The Daily Dose/Saturday, May 2, 2020
The Daily Dose/May 2, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA! Former Vice President Joe Biden – the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee – has denied a sexual assault allegation by a former member of his US Senate staff. The allegation was made in late March and it’s puzzling why Biden waited so long to address the matter publicly.
Here We Go Again: Our first thought was this is hardly a surprise, it’s par for the course in politics nowadays and it is not difficult to understand such allegations are made: us males have a long history of sexual assault. We are in possession of Mother Nature’s mandate to reproduce and when some men want it they are going to get it. This neither excuses nor explains it, it merely acknowledges it and while some men are falsely accused, some are not. It’s the way the world is built.
Our other thought was that’s it, only one allegation? Good gravy, compared to President Trump Biden is a sexual assault allegation novitiate with absolutely zero street cred in this matter.
Dry, Technical Matter: President Trump has had over a dozen such allegations made against him over the years and he admits to grabbing women by the pussy, an admission that gives the allegations some measure of credence. Trump, of course, routinely dismisses such allegations – he certainly doesn’t fret over them, like Biden appears to be doing – and goes on the attack against his accusers. He could care less. Trump’s main talent and only real desire is to draw attention to himself and it doesn’t particularly matter how. His only goal is that people notice him.
LOL: This is all very rich. The Democrats, of course, railed when the Trump allegations seemingly appeared every hour on the hour, and they would like us to dismiss this.
The Bottom Line: We must be careful with he said/she said allegations. Biden cannot prove he didn’t do it because, of course, you cannot prove a negative and short of an admission, witnesses or video coverage, it’s difficult to prove it happened. It’s a conundrum us humans have yet to adequately address.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a package waiting for him at The Shire. Today’s Diary.
The goodies I bought for The Shire are starting to trickle in…First to arrive today was the package from that New England-ish website: the red plaid blanket for the bed, the green checked tablecloth and matching napkins…I could’ve sworn I ordered red napkins – for the contrast – and I was prepared to call in airstrikes on their goddamned store, but a check of the order shows I did, in fact, specify green napkins and the good folks there had merely had the nerve to send me what I’d ordered.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1982 – In the Falklands War, the British nuclear submarine HMS Conqueror sinks the Argentine light cruiser ARA General Belgrano about 200 nautical miles southwest of the Falkland Islands and about 100 nautical miles east of the southern tip of the Argentine mainland. The attack killed 321 Argentine sailors and two civilians and 772 men were rescued. The General Belgrano had originally been commissioned in 1938 by the United States Navy as the USS Phoenix and was sold to Argentina in 1951. It remains the only ship to be sunk in combat by a nuclear submarine.
In 1917 – Fred Toney of the Cincinnati Reds throws a 10-inning no-hitter in a 1-0 win over the Chicago Cubs at what is now Wrigley Field. Cubs pitcher Hippo Vaughn threw nine hitless innings, giving up a run in the tenth on two hits and an error. It was the third extra-inning no-hitter in major league history and remains the only major league game where both teams were hitless through nine innings. In 1909 Toney had pitched the longest no-hitter in American professional baseball history, a 17-inning game for the Winchester Hustlers of the Blue Grass League.
In 1981 – Sheena Easton is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Morning Train (Nine to Five). The song, whose title was changed to avoid confusion with Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 hit, also went to #1 in New Zealand, Australia and Canada and peaked at #3 in Great Britain. It was the second of 14 Top 40 hits for Easton and remains her only #1 song.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Cicero…acquitted himself with a degree of competence and integrity that which surprised and offended his friends. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol III: Caesar to Christ
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The two songs in the 1960s that debuted higher than Mrs Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter at #12 were both by the Beatles: Hey Jude (1968) and Get Back (1969), both of which debuted at #10.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who pitched the last extra-inning no-hitter in major league baseball? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Friday, May 1, 2020
The Daily Dose/May 1, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience
USA! USA! What’s funny in this whole coronavirus pandemic is not that the Trump Administration is insisting that their response to the crisis has been timely and sufficient. This is par for the Trump Administration course; describing things as they’d like them to be rather than as they are. It’s something most of us get over when we’re five, when we realize mommy and daddy don’t believe us.
The latest example came on Wednesday when the president proclaimed:
We did all the right moves. If we didn’t do what we did you would have had a million people die, maybe more, maybe two million.
FactCheck: And, actually, there’s some truth in what the president said: if the government hadn’t even bothered with their tardy, insufficient response, we might well be looking at one or two million deaths.
OTOH: Had a functional, competent government provided a timely and competent response, America’s death toll, now past that of the carnage in Vietnam, would probably be a fraction of what it is now. Our government has blood on its hands.
Back On Message: No, what’s funny – or, rather, sad – in all this is that you and me are taking it. Instead of calling a spade a spade and Mr Trump a liar, we are allowing ourselves to be told by the media that Mr Trump is merely framing the narrative or some other such nonsense.
Fly In The Ointment: This is false:
The president is lying to us!
He’s been lying to us since he announced as a candidate and he’s probably been lying since he emerged from the womb. There is no reason to believe anything he says yet we refuse to call him a liar. He is merely reframing the narrative. We continue to listen to him, giving his lies continued credence.
Here, Have Some Kool-Aid: What’s always been difficult to discern about the president is whether he knows he is out-and-out lying or whether he genuinely believes what he says. For example, when he says “we did all the right moves” even the most die-hard pro-Trump KKK grand wizard knows this is nonsense. But the media and, by extension, us, continues to treat his blather as if it is a substantive thought, a possibility to consider.
The Bottom Line: It’s not, of course, because President Trump is a man of zero intellectual substance. But we elected him, a lying, sexual predator who believes the moon is part Mars, and we are reaping that harvest right now. We deserve better than this, of course, but we are not going to get better until we demand it on Election Day.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow farts around in the kitchen. Today’s Diary.
Tho any idiot knows these ingredients are merely a recipe for gravy, at this point I’m still expecting goodness, an outlook that would prove to be a tad optimistic.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1840 – The world’s first adhesive postage stamp is issued in Great Britain. Known as the Penny Black, it featured the profile of Queen Victoria and cost one penny. Previously, postage in Britain had generally been paid by the recipient, the amount determined by the number of pages and the distance traveled. The Penny Black allowed up to a half-ounce of mail to be sent any distance. It was only in circulation a year because those zany Brits found a way to erase the cancellation mark and re-use the stamp.
In 1901 – The Detroit Tigers establish new American League and modern major league records for most errors in a game in a 19-9 loss to the Chicago White Sox. The Tigers committed twelve errors – ten by infielders – and the all-time major league record for errors in a game is 24, by the Boston Red Caps (NL) on June 14, 1876. The Tigers couldn’t catch a cold that season, and their 425 errors, in 136 games, for the season is also a modern major league record. On May 6, 1903, the two teams put on another fielding clinic, when the White Sox tied the record, actually beating the Tigers 10-9. The 18 combined errors in this game is also a modern major league record.
In 1965 – Herman’s Hermits are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter. It was the first of two #1 songs for the group (I’m Henry VIII, I Am, one week, 1965) and the second of nine consecutive Top 10 hits. Two weeks earlier the song had debuted on the Hot `100 at #12, making it the third-highest debuting song of the decade and the highest by an act not named the Beatles. Like some #1 songs over the decades, it was recorded as an afterthought at the end of a session, in two takes.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
What we do we are conscious-bound to do; we can do no other way. – Harriet Beacher Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Michael Jackson has had five #1 albums on Billboard’s album chart. The Jackson 5/Jacksons have not yet topped the Billboard 200.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What were the two songs in the 1960s that debuted on the Hot 100 higher than Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter at #12? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Thursday, April 30, 2020
The Daily Dose/April 30, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow continues to take notes for the morning Emergency Ops meeting. Today’s Diary.
The morning Emergency Ops meetings are getting shorter and shorter…I don’t understand this: we’re in the middle of the worst pandemic since the black plague and only two departments had updates and one of them was Public Affairs which could provide updates every-hour-on-the hour for a mild coughing fit…Come on people, not even Public Health had an update and the public’s health is the reason we’re in this fiasco in the first place.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1975 – Saigon, the capital of South Vietnam, is taken by North Vietnamese forces. It marked the end of the Vietnam War and the beginning of the reunification as the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. Generally known as the Fall of Saigon in the West, it is known the Day of Liberating the South for National Reunification in Vietnam and Saigon was immediately renamed Ho Chi Minh City, the name it retains today. US combat troops had left the country two years earlier.
In 1996 – The New York Yankees and Baltimore Orioles establish a new major league record for the longest nine-inning game, a game won by the Yankees 13-10. The game took 4 hours and 21 minutes and featured ten pitchers, 28 hits and 14 walks. The record stood until Oct 5, 2001, when the Los Angeles Dodgers defeated the San Francisco Giants 11-10 in 4 hours 27 minutes and the record is now held by the Yankees and Boston Red Sox, who took 4 hours and 45 minutes on Aug 18, 2006, a game won by the Yankees 14-11.
In 1983 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Beat It. The song went to #1 in four other countries, including Belgium and The Netherlands, and peaked at #3 in Great Britain. In May it would also spend a week at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s fifth-biggest song of the year. It was the fifth of 13 #1 songs on both the pop and soul charts for Jackson, though not the same songs hit #1 on both charts.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I remember what I was, and what I have yet to do. – Adolf Hitler
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The major league record for most strikeouts in a game is 21, done by Tom Cheney of the Washington Senators on Sept 12, 1962, pitching all 16 innings in 2-1 win.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many #1 albums did Michael Jackson have on Billboard’s album chart, both as a solo act and with the Jackson 5/the Jacksons? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Wednesday, April 29, 2020
The Daily Dose/April 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience
Editor’s Note; today is the anniversary of Louisville Grays first baseman John Carbine making five errors in a game in 1876. The record still stands and is the oldest record in the major league record book and today’s Leading Off segment is authored by Mr Carbine.
HEY BATTER, BATTER…SWING: Hi baseball fans, John Carbine here. Thank you for remembering me. I was not a very good major league baseball player. 1876 was my only year in the NL and I had ten errors in my seven games for the Louisville Grays. I was the classic no-field, no-hit first baseman – never in any particular demand – and batted .160 and was released in June.
Baseball was real popular back then, but as a business, it was kind of hit and miss for a while, and it’s good to see the NL still going strong.
Dry, Technical Matter: The previous season I had played with the Keokuk Westerns of the National Association (NA). Now, I know some of you don’t consider the NA a major league. The major league record book doesn’t. Clubs came and went – my Westerns only played 13 games – and schedules were changed on the fly from time to time, but it was the highest level of pro ball back then and I always told folks I played two major league seasons.
Quote That Sucker: I remember after the game my manager John Chapman said “Christ, Carbine, we knew you weren’t any good, but we didn’t know you were that bad. Five errors could be tough to top.”
Ol’ Chap was a funny guy and we got a chuckle out of that line, but we didn’t have those big gloves you have now and fielding was tough. But he was right. A couple of other first basemen had five errors later in the year and a couple of others did it too, later, but no first baseman has been bad enough to have ever topped it.
Broad Historical Context: April 29, 1876, was just a few days after the first NL game. In fact, depending on the times the other two games that day started, it was either the ninth, tenth or eleventh game in National League history, so my record is the oldest.
The Bottom Line: I don’t know how many people have played big league ball over the years – Gaylon probably does – and most of them don’t make it into the ML record book, so I ‘ll take it. It’s nice to be remembered.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: The alarm goes off at the hotel, despite the fact there is nothing alarming going on. Today’s Diary.
No one knew what the hell was going on…The panel, as panels of these sorts sometimes do, decided it needed attention and went off on its own and the tech, unable to silence the alarm using Established Troubleshooting Techniques (ETT), was reduced to pulling wires out of whatever they were wired into…That worked because an alarm can’t run without power, of course, and it saved us from having to implement my suggestion that we secure power to the whole building.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1992 – Rioting begins in Los Angeles following the acquittal of four Los Angeles police officers in their trial in the Rodney King beatings. The verdicts were issued at 3:15 pm and the violence was underway within an hour. The riots lasted until May 3 and resulted in 63 deaths, 2,383 injuries, over 12,000 arrests and over $1 billion in damage and wasn’t quelled until state and federal troops plus federal law enforcement officers were called in. Two of the officers were later found guilty in a civil trial.
In 1986 – Roger Clemens of the Boston Red Sox establishes a new major league record for most strikeouts in a nine-inning game in a 3-1 victory over the Seattle Mariners. Clemens struck out 20 batters, breaking the record of 19 established by Steve Carlton in 1969 and later tied by Tom Seaver and Nolan Ryan. Clemens would tie his own record in 1996 and remains one of the few people in American major league sports to establish and then tie their own all-time record. Kerry Wood and Max Scherzer have also tied the mark and in 2001 Randy Johnson struck out 20 batters in the first nine innings of an 11-inning game.
In 1984 – Phil Collins is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now). The song also went to #1 in Ireland, Norway and Canada, peaked at #2 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s fifth-biggest song of the year. It was his first of seven #1 songs as a solo act and his second of ten Top 10 hits. Though Collins wrote the song specifically for the movie Against All Odds, it was based on an unreleased song Collins had lying around.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Fighting against destiny seemed impossible for the moment. – Jules Verne, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon replaced Billion Dollar Babies by Alice Cooper at #1 on Billboard’s album chart in 1973.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who holds the major league record for most strikeouts in a game? – Answer next time!