The Daily Dose/Saturday, March 21, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 21, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off is taking some PTO. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: The gym is still open, and Sparrow gets a good workout in. Today’s Diary.  

Back to max weights this morning in the gym…Unfortunately, I overslept and project work to a bit longer than normal plus there was some farting around, so I only had time for another short workout…But the weights were good: 90 on the shoulder cable press, 35 each side on the z-bar bicep curls, 180 on the bench press and the stack plus two 5-lb supplementary plates on the tricep press…And the leg work was strong, too, so all in all a good session.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1963 – The Alcatraz Federal penitentiary closes its doors, after 29 years. Alcatraz, also known as the Rock, had opened in 1934, as a prison for those who caused too many problems at other federal prisons. Over the prison’s 29-year history, there were 14 escapes involving 36 prisoners, none of whom were able to live to report a successful escape and the menu for the final meal, breakfast, still hangs in front of the entrance to the mess hall. Previously it was a United States Army prison and the longest-serving inmate was Alvin Karpis, who served 26 years there.  

In 1991 – Ron Tugnutt of the Quebec Nordiques – now the Colorado Avalanche – establishes a new NHL record for most saves in a game and Ray Borque of the Boston Bruins establishes a new NHL record for most shots on goal in a game in a 3-3 tie at the Boston Garden. Tugnutt broke the record of 65 established by Mario Lessard of the Los Angeles Kings in 1981 while Borque broke the record of 16 established by Rod Gilbert of the New York Rangers in 1968 and both records still stand. The Bruins outshot the Nordiques 73-26. 

In 1981 – Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for its only week. It was the band’s fifth chart single and their first Top 40 hit. REO Speedwagon last hit the Top 40 in 1988 and finished with four Top 10 hits and one more #1 song (Can’t Fight This Feeling, three weeks, 1984). The song also made the Top 10 in eight other countries, peaked at #7 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s tenth biggest song of the year. The band took its name from a vehicle that had been for sale in America in the first half of the 20th century. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

If he was not true to himself, he was nothing.
Gore Vidal
Washington, D.C.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

UTEP has won 21 NCAA national championships, one in basketball, seven in men’s cross country and indoor track and field and six in outdoor track and field. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who holds the NHL record for most saves in a game this century? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 20

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The Daily Dose/Friday, March 20, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 20, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, your Daily Dose is enjoying a day off. The Diary of a Nobody, of course, rolls on, so click here to read today’s entry.

Have a reasonable good day,

Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 19

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, March 19, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 19, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

OH, JESUS H: The numbers, of course, keep going up. The COVID-19 death rate amongst those who have or have had the illness has inched past 4% for the first time. The death rate for cases that have been resolved is 9%. 

Tell Your Numbers To Shut Up: In terms of the entire population of our planet – roughly 7.7 billion people – the figure is so microscopic to have little statistical significance, frankly. The worldwide death rate is .00000113%.

Dry, Technical Matter: Now, we are on record as saying we’re all losing our minds over this and the chaos, anarchy, that might result from having an entire planet unemployed and locked down might be worse than the COVID-19 death toll, but even we realize a 9% death rate among people who’ve contracted the illness is awfully high. 

Back On Message: We remain convinced, though, that an America with most everyone not working will completely wreak havoc with an American fabric that is already stretched awfully thin. What’s going to happen when grocery store shelves get even barer because there’s no one making, shipping or stocking things that we’ve already hoarded? What happens when there’s one jar of peanut butter on a grocery store shelf and three men with kids to feed wanting it? 

Eyes Wide Shut: We should be paying attention to what our government is doing, and not only because they may be sending us money soon. They are limiting rights of assembly and ordering businesses to close, something that under ordinary times would not be tolerated. It’s not right now, though, because these are not ordinary times and as humans, we like to depend on others. Kids depend on their parents, husbands depend on their wives and us citizens like to depend on our governments in times like these because we find it comforting and let’s face it, us humans generally do not like to go against the grain. 

Holy Living F*ck: However, if the violence gets too great the government will send troops in to break it up and friends, once a government sends troops in they don’t always leave. Rights protected for us might not come back. 

The Bottom Line: These are unprecedented times and our government is doing unprecedented things. We must remain vigilant.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: It’s still slow at the hotel, and Sparrow has the lastest MPG figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary. 

Slower than slow season slow at the hotel…Officially, we had 23 rooms occupied, but with an early departure and no-shows, there were no more than 17 rooms with actual humans in them, including the copulating couple in 120 who chose not to resume their fun stuff, at least for the 20 minutes or so I stood outside their door.

As usual, my non-mechanical mind has no clue why we jumped 5 MPG in one week – and I double-checked everything and the figure is correct…Maybe we will end up at 100 MPG someday.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1918 – Time zones are standardized in the United States when President Woodrow Wilson signs the Standard Time Act of 1918. The first attempt at establishing time zones in the US had been by the railroads in 1883, though those were not met with universal acceptance. Today the US has nine time zones, from the Chamorro time zone in Guam in the west to the Atlantic time zone, covering Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands, in the east. The continental US is covered by four time zones. 

In 1966 – The Texas Western Miners – now the Texas-El Paso Miners – win the NCAA basketball title, defeating the Kentucky Wildcats 72-65 at Cole Field House in College Park, Maryland. The Miners were coached by Don Haskins and were the first team that started five black players to win the national championship. The Miners were the only team besides UCLA to win the national title between 1964-73 and this remains their only national basketball championship. 

In 1977 – Glen Campbell is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for his only week with Southern Nights. The song would later spend one week at #1 on the Hot 100 was Campbell’s fifth and final country #1 and his second and final #1 on the pop chart. The song was written and originally recorded by Allen Toussaint who also wrote, among many other songs, Mother-in-Law and I Like It Like That. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Revolution…. comes only when there are many things ready to die.  – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Mariah Carey’s first #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 was Vision of Love in 1990. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many NCAA national championships has UTEP won? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 18

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, March 18, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 18, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose is self-quarantining for a couple of days. Click here to read today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody.

Have a good day,

Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 17

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The Daily Dose/March 17, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 17, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, the column will return.

Sparrow, of course, rolls on, though, so click here for today Diary of a Nobody entry.

Have a good day,

Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 16

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