The Daily Dose/February 10, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends,

Your Daily Dose is enjoying a day off. It will return.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody.

Many thanks for reading,

Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/February 9, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.

1. Super Bowl Halftime Show – Good gravy, NFL, the screaming fans should have been replaced by dirty old men with fistfuls of greenbacks…You should be ashamed of yourselves…As always, though, it’s a sign of our times. 

2. Democrats – Hey guys, the election is 270 days away…Please produce someone who can command the imagination of this country PDQ, or it’s going to be another four years of Trumpville.

3. Shakira and Jennifer Lopez – Hubba-hubba…Please call or text soonest…970/439-8897…TIA.

4. Super Bowl LIV – Hard to say if ‘Shannahaned’ will make it into the vernacular meaning someone who blows something on the planet’s biggest stage since Kyle was only a coordinator when Atlanta blew Super Bowl, but it will probably make the 49ers Super Bowl LV title even more satisfying.

5. Democratic Debate Fact Check: – Can’t anybody tell the truth anymore???…Showing the GOP doesn’t have a monopoly on lying, Democrats show they can skew the truth, too…Click here for details!

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow cleans up a mess at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

It happened about 0130…I went in to use the can, preparatory to delivering folios, and there it was, glass all over the place and dried up beer waiting to be cleaned up…In fact, the beer had been there so long shards of glass had stuck to the dried beer…Now, it’s hardly a bulletin that yours truly doesn’t want to take work away from our porters, but even I can’t leave that, so I got to work…I even filled up a bucket with cleaner and warm water but regular readers of the crap know I have few cleaning skills and even after this Herculean labor there was still enuff for Saul to do so that he could hold his head up. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1824 – John Quincy Adams is elected president of the United States by the House or Representatives, defeating Andrew Jackson and William Crawford, the second time the House had elected the president. Adams earned the votes of 13 of the 24 states, the contingent election necessitated because no one received the required 131 electoral votes required to earn election.  The first contingent election had come in 1800 when Thomas Jefferson needed 35 ballots to defeat his vice presidential candidate Aaron Burr after the two had tied in the Electoral College. 

In 1895 – The Minnesota State School of Agriculture defeats Hamline College 9-3 in the first basketball game between two colleges. Previously, colleges had played local YMCA teams. The game was played on a makeshift court in the basement of Hamline’s Hall of Science and the goals were peach baskets that did not have backboards. Hamline now plays in the NCAA’s Division III, while research into what eventually became of the Minnesota State College of Agriculture was inconclusive. 

In 1974 – Love’s Theme by The Love Unlimited Orchestra is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week. The song also went to #1 in South Africa and Canada, peaked at #10 in Great Britain and on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s third-biggest song of the year. The song was written and produced by Barry White and was the group’s first chart single and remains their only #1 song. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It would seem to bear out Franklin’s contention that spies, in the long run, caused as much mischief to their masters as to their victims, and should not be taken too seriously. – David Schoenbrun, Triumph in Paris: The Exploits of Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Sweden is the only country besides Canada and the United States to play for the gold medal in Olympic women’s hockey, winning the silver medal at the 2006 Turin Games. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What NCAA Division I team has played the most basketball games? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 8, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HUT, HUT HIKE: We slept through most of the recent Super Bowl, so we missed the halftime show, but we watched it recently after reading assorted reactions to it. Reactions ran the gamut from empowering and joyful to vulgar and disgusting so we were somewhat curious and after visual inspection of photos of the two headliners, Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, we came away determined to find out for ourselves. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: If you like hot, scantily clad women jumping up and down – and we do – it was a hell of a show. I’ve left Visa numbers for less.  Now, if you’re the type who gets your shorts in a knot over stuff like this, you probably didn’t. We could see where people found the show joyful, vulgar and disgusting. 

Fly In The Ointment: But in no way was this empowering to anyone, except males who decide the best way to allow talented women like Shakira and Ms Lopez to earn a living is to oblige them to dress up and prance around like harlots.

Life 101: At least the girls and young women watching were given accurate lessons in how to get ahead in this world: it helps to have nice legs and a nice ass and for heaven’s sake don’t be shy about deploying these critical assets. If you do not have these critical assets pity, because cows will otherwise have their work cut out for them trying to make a go of it.

Dry, Technical Matter: No one, of course, forces anyone to appear on the Super Bowl halftime show and Shakira and Lopez could have chosen something else to wear…It’s their careers, and if they want to prance around like that, more power to them. And while the NFL doesn’t actually pay their Super Bowl headliners, they make enough off their appearance to make it worth their while. 

Bottom Line: The talented and beautiful, and even the untalented and beautiful, have always been exploited and Shakira and Lopez are merely the latest to get dolled up for our entertainment so some can make a pile of cash. It’s the way the world is built.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. More or less. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has still more snow to move. Today’s Diary. 

The boys at our small-town public works office were hard at it early, too, so there was a nice berm at the end of the driveway, hardly the siege fortress they’d delivered yesterday, but still a pretty good one…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1924 – The United States executes someone in a gas chamber for the first time, when Nevada gasses Gee Jon to death at a state prison in Carson City. Jon was executed in a hastily built gas chamber after an earlier attempt to gas him in his cell while he slept failed because the gas leaked out. Jon, born in China, had emigrated to the US in 1907 or 1908 and had been condemned for a 1921 murder. The last execution in the US in a gas chamber occurred in Arizona in 1999.

In 1998 – Women’s ice hockey debuts at the Winter Olympics as Finland defeats Sweden 6-0 at the Nagano Winter Games. The United States, Canada, China and Japan also participated, with the US defeating China and Canada defeating Japan later in the day. The US won the gold medal, defeating Canada 3-1 in the championship game and Finland defeated China 4-1 for the bronze medal. Canada would win the next four gold medals and the Americans won in 2018. 

In 1992 – Right Said Fred is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with I’m Too Sexy. The song also went to #1 in four other countries, including Australia and Ireland and spent six weeks at #2 in Great Britain, tying the record for time spent in the runner-up spot on the British chart. Though the group would continue to chart in Europe, only  a #76 hit later in the year prevented Right Said Fred from being an ultimate one-hit wonder in the United States, a group whose only chart single went to #1. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It would seem to bear out Franklin’s contention that spies, in the long run, caused as much mischief to their masters as to their victims, and should not be taken too seriously. – David Schoenbrun, Triumph in Paris: The Exploits of Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The first song on the Hot 100 to go to #1 for two different artists was Go Away Little Girl, first by Steve Lawerence in 1963 and then by Donny Osmond in 1971. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What is the only country besides Canada and the US to play in the gold medal game of the women’s Olympic hockey tournament? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 7, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

USA! USA! This whole impeachment process was a mess. First off, had they really wanted to, the House probably could have come up with several, perhaps many, more articles of impeachment against President Trump. They weren’t interested in that, though, probably because they knew there was little chance of Trump being convicted and they were content merely to get his impeachment into the historical record. The country was fairly well served by their efforts, but hardly completely well served.  

USA! USA! II: The US Senate, however, served no one and nothing – except the Republican Party, of course – well with their conduct. They should be ashamed of themselves for the sham of the trial they conducted. 

Fly In The Ointment: Now, to be fair, the trial was theirs to handle as they saw fit. Heck, they could have dismissed the articles on the first day and no one could have said boo. It probably would have been better than the sham they offered us. 

Dry, Technical Matter: You look up trial in some dictionaries and the definition offered is “an examination of evidence” which, of course, did not happen here. The Senate only allowed statements by both sides, which is not a trial but merely a hearing. The Senate was derelict in their duties because the Constitution specifies a trial and not a hearing. 

Get Out Your History Books: Misfit impeachment proceedings are the norm in America, though, and it’s probably difficult to expect otherwise. By definition, impeachment is a partisan process and the other two presidential impeachments were hardly models for law school textbooks, either. Andrew Johnson was impeached and tried for having the nerve to fire a cabinet member, a violation of the Tenure of Office Act, a measure that the Radical Republicans in Congress had approved over Johnson’s veto and an act that would later be repealed and later deemed invalid by the Supreme Court while considering a similar measure. 

Oh Yeah: And we recall thinking Bill Clinton’s transgressions didn’t really warrant impeachment and trial, either. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: President Trump, in what has to be the Upset of the Year, said it best, calling the proceedings: 

The most unfair trial in the history of the US Congress. 

He’s right, the first truthful thing he’s said since he took office. It was unfair, to our country and to the history books. We deserved better. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow moves some snow. Today’s Diary. 

Then I noticed the carport had over three feet of snow on it…I looked inside the carport and the roof was sagging however it’s always sagging, even in the summer and, tragically, there isn’t a baseline sag figure to reference so I couldn’t tell if this was normal sagging or if collapse was imminent…So I got the roof snow removing implement out…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1991 – 10 Downing Street, the residence of the British prime minister, comes under mortar attack from elements of the Irish Republican Army (IRA) during a meeting of Prime Minister John Major and his cabinet. The mortars were fired from a van 200 yards away, with one landing in the backyard and two others missing entirely and landing in a nearby grassy area. Four people, none of them Major or members of his cabinet, were injured. 

In 1976 – Darryl Sittler of the Toronto Maple Leafs establishes a new NHL record for most points in a game, accounting for ten in an 11-4 win over the Boston Bruins. Sittler had six goals and four assists and broke the record of eight points in a game that had been done many times. Sittler had two assists in the first period, three goals and and two assists in the second period and three goals in the third period. The record still stands. 

In 1970 – Shocking Blue is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for their only week with Venus. The song went to #1 in eight other countries, including Spain and Belgium, peaked at #8 in Great Britain and remains the group’s only Top 40 hit. In 1986 Bananarama took the song to #1, making Venus the fourth song in Hot 100 history to go to #1 for different artists. The feat has since been accomplished five other times. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only. Money is not required to buy one necessary of the soul.  – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Righteous Brothers’ last Top 40 hits were two versions of Unchained Melody, one a re-issue of the original and the other a new recording. Both made the Top 20 in 1990. The song had originally reached #4 in 1965. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was the first song in Hot 100 history to go to #1 for two different artists? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 6, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

USA! USA!: This is what we’ve been reduced to: State of the Union speeches that for years have been nothing more than made-for-TV pep rallies. A president who declines to shake the Speaker of the House’s hand and a Speaker who – humorously and poignantly – tore his speech up. A president who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars. A Congress that is a partisan, fractured and bickering mess, unable to do anything of substance. 

We’ve been reduced to over 30 years of non-stop war and $23 trillion of debt and a country that is a shooting gallery, a country that is merely wondering when and were – as opposed to if – the next mass shooting will happen. We’ve been reduced to elected leaders that play us like violins, telling us exactly what we want to hear so we will reelect them. 

Fly In The Ointment: You know, a hundred years from now when historians are looking back on the collapse of the United States of America sure, they’ll point to constant fighting both inside and outside our country, and our crushing national debt. But they’ll more than anything they’ll cite an electorate that put up with all of it, an electorate that every two years declined to make any changes at the ballot box. They’ll note that we tolerated, and reelected, all of it. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’re not fussbudgets or worrywarts here, but we give us until this half-century is out before our country collapses unless we take some action at the ballot box. No nation has survived perpetual war or this type of fiscal insanity, and anyone who tells you America will be the exception to that is either deluding themselves, trying to delude you or, as likely as not, both. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination. Go, scoot, click here to contribute to his campaign. For two (2) reasons the minimum donation is $100. One, if you can’t afford $100 Gaylon doesn’t want to take a lesser amount from you. Two, if he hasn’t earned your $100, he’ll keep working until he does. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody:  At the VSO, Sparrow helps a veteran who has been fighting the VA for many years. Today’s Diary. 

Mr S came by the Veterans Service Office, a bit early for his appointment, which is OK with me…He is what’s known as an atomic veteran, a vet who was exposed to radiation while in service…Specifically, he was 1,000 yards, a bit more than a half-mile, away from a nuclear test in Nevada in 1955…After the blast, his unit was treated to a stroll thru the test village that had been set up and all told spent about 90 minutes at ground zero. 

About 20 years later he started having problems, like skin cancer, bladder stones, a spot on his lung and cataracts.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1778 – The United States of America is recognized as an independent republic for the first in two treaties signed in Paris with France. The Treaty of Alliance and the Treaty of Amity and Commerce were meant to annoy and help defeat the British in the American Revolution. The treaties came about after the Americans won the Battle of Saratoga, which also caused the French to turn down British overtures for peace. Amity is a rather archaic word meaning a friendly relationship. 

In 1973 – Defenseman Connie Madigan, 38, of the St Louis Blues becomes the oldest rookie in NHL history, making his debut in a 5-1 win over the Vancouver Canucks. Madigan would play in 20 of St Louis’ remaining 26 regular-season games and in all five playoff games, mustering three assists and 29 penalty minutes in his 31 games. Madigan had begun his professional career in 1958 with the Spokane Spokes of the Western Hockey League (WHL) and would return to the WHL for his final two professional seasons. 

In 1965 – The Righteous Brothers are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’. It was the first Top 40 hit for the group, their first of six Top 10 hits and the first of two #1 songs [(You’re My) Soul and Inspiration, three weeks, 1966]. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Great Britain and was Billboard’s 5th biggest song of the year. The song charted four other times in Great Britain between 1969 and 1991, including two more Top 10 appearances. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The beauty of educating oneself is there are no limits to what can be learned.  – Louis L’Amour, Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Of the twelve men who have walked on the moon, four are still alive: Buzz Aldrin (90), David Scott (87) and Charles Duke and Harrison Schmitt, both 84. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was the Righteous Brothers’ final Top 40 hit? – Answer next time!

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