Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, July 27 We were pretty busy with walk-ins and phone calls tonight because the Interstate a couple of hours south of here is closed because of a mudslide and traffic is being detoured thru town, which is about as inconvenient as it sounds…it’s 90-minutes north to here, an hour west to the next county and another 90-minutes south…I actually noticed it as soon as I left the house because there was a lot more traffic than there usually is on Friday night and I wasn’t surprised when Brandon said the Interstate had been closed.
The Daily Dose/July 27, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: Creation by Gore Vidal: One of the great pleasures of reading is re-reading old favorites and longtime readers of ours know this is not the first time we’ve read this wonderful book. It’s our all-time favorite and this was our fifth or sixth reading it…We can’t really remember.
Dry, Technical Matter: Creation is a historical novel covering roughly the 6th-5th centuries BC. The protagonist is the fictional Cyrus Spitama, a Greek-Persian diplomat who goes into service for Great King Darius and, among other things, travels to India and China, where he meets, among other people, Buddha, Lao Tzu, and Confucius.
More Dry, Technical Matter: We’ve been keeping a quote book of things we’ve read that we wanted to remember since 1988. Creation, of course, has provided its share of quotes and this reading was no different, adding another couple of dozen or so…What’s funny is our previous reading yielded more entries than the other previous readings combined, so you might have thought we’d mined every nugget there was to mine, but that wasn’t the case…There is always something to discover re-reading old favorites…They never stop speaking to you.
An Opposing Viewpoint: Not everyone is as thrilled with this book as we are. One review called it “meandering” and a collection of “incidents, anecdotes, artifacts and rituals”…What’s funny is this is true and what some find a fault we’ve always found contributed to an informative and entertaining book.
Back On Message: But that misses the point of Creation, which is Vidal doing what you pay us writers to do: take a stab at the big questions, and they do not come much bigger than how did we get here???…Vidal doesn’t come any closer to answering this question than anyone else has, but his attempt is as entertaining as it is thoughtful, ultimately showing that even though assorted religions and beliefs are different, they are all basically the same, which makes an ever bigger point about us humans and our need to believe in something that is both bigger than us and that helps us overcome our fear of death.
Final Ranking: A. We don’t toss out the top ranking too often here, but Creation deserves it. We have always thought this was as good a book as our species had produced.
Busy day at the Veteran Service Office (VSO) today, as busy as I’ve been in a month…Corky came by, recall he had called Wednesday because those f*ckers at the VA had sent a letter advising the paperwork he had filed before I took over wasn’t signed even tho Corky said it was…Corky brought the letter in and they had sent him a blank form instead of the one that needed signing, something else that peeved Corky…Also, because Corky felt bad about bothering me, he brought me a donut…I am not allowed to take gratuities or any other form of remuneration from veterans for my services, but rather than insult Corky over this technicality, I accepted the donut, which was chocolate cake with cream filling, one hell of a selection, if you ask me.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
More drivel! Click on the button to read all of The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future:
On This Date In 1694 – The Bank of England is given its royal charter, following England’s defeat by France in a 1690 naval battle, a battle England had neither the money nor the credit to recover from. Owned by subscribers who initially invested £1.2 million, the establishment of the Bank of England, and the attendant industrial and agricultural growth, is generally recognized as contributing to making Britain and dominant world power in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Today the Bank of England is the 8th oldest bank in the world.
In 1996 – Donovan Bailey, a Canadian who had been born in Jamaica, establishes a new world record in the 100-meters at the Atlanta Summer Olympics. His time of 9.84 seconds broke Leroy Burrell’s mark of 9.85 seconds established in 1994. With the win, Bailey became the second person to simultaneously hold the world championship, the Olympic championship and the world record. Donovan’s mark was broken in 1999 by Maurice Greene (9.79s) and is now held by Usain Bolt (9.58s).
In 1940 – I’ll Never Smile Again by Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra and the Pied Pipers is at #1 on the first music chart ever issued by Billboard magazine: the National Best Selling Retail Records chart. The song spent twelve weeks at #1, a record that would be tied twice and not broken until 1950 when Gordon Jenkins and His Orchestra and the Weavers spent 13 weeks at #1 with Goodnight Irene. Billboard would introduce its soul chart in 1942, the country chart in 1944 and the Hot 100 in 1958. Billboard now produces charts for a variety of styles of music and has long been recognized as the preeminent authority on American charted music. Billboard magazine was first published in Cincinnati in 1894, dedicated to billboard advertising.
Quotebook But in truth, success doesn’t demand a price. Every step forward pays a dividend. Dr. David J Schwartz
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Major General McClellan was not immediately replaced as general-in-chief of the Union Army. Magor General Henry Halleck would take command a few months later.
Today’s Stumper Who was the first athlete to simultaneously hold the world and Olympic championships and the world record in the men’s 100-meters? – Answer next time!
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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, July 26 One thing Tim the Adjutant and I discussed yesterday when he stopped by was what in theeee hell was going on at our now-closed diner…Like ol’ Sparrow had, Tim had heard someone had been pretty close to opening something new there…What he didn’t know, like yours truly had heard, was that is was the people who own the restaurant at the hotel who were interested, a tidbit I felt obliged to pass on…As it is, we haven’t seen any movement inside the diner in a month and we both agreed it will probably be a while before anything opens.
The Daily Dose/July 26, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Editor’s Note: Longtime readers will recall, perhaps fondly, the old Daily Dose format used today. It is being given a test run again.
WHILE WE WERE OUT: Lost in the cacophony of the Apollo 11 retrospective of the past few days was the sentencing of convicted drug vendor Joquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman, who was sentenced to life in prison last week, a sentence he is appealing and one he will serve at the Supermax prison west of Pueblo, Colorado. There he will join an A-list of archcriminals like the Unabomber, the Shoe Bomber and the Boston marathon bomber.
Dry, Technical Matter: El Chapo was convicted in February of assorted drug trafficking, money laundering, racketeering and murder charges.
Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: Has El Chapo’s conviction and sentencing made any difference whatsoever into either how drugs are imported into America or consumed by citizens? Of course they haven’t. Americans are still consuming a lot of illegal drugs and people on both sides of the border are still dying every day.
More Dry, Technical Matter: Is our border with Mexico racked with violence over coffee? No, it is not. Why? Because coffee is legal. Coffee growers and exporters only need to find people to sell their coffee to and arrange to have it imported.
Write This Down: The drug war is silly. Mexican drug lords are merely vendors trying to move product into a country that has a large demand for it. Legalize drugs and the attendant violence with trying to get drugs imported into and sold in America goes away. Drug lords go from being eveil arch-criminals to mere vendors trying to move some product, product that, as noted, there is a great demand for here in the United States.
Oh Yeah: America should legalize whatever someone wants to put into their body.
Today At The Site The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow is back to feeling good and a guy comes by The Shire to give an estimate on new tile in the shower. Today’s Diary.
At 4pm a guy came by to give us an estimate on our bathroom…Long-time readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall that The Wife tore the tile off the lower part of the shower…She then used an old shower curtain and some duct tape to protect the bare areas, a field repair that is still holding up, and for a while now she has been making some of her infamous noises about getting it fixed…She wouldn’t be here for the estimate, and she left instructions for me not in any way, shape, or form mention our expected budget for this evolution…I then made a joke about telling the guy we’re expecting to spend about 15 grand on this – which we’re not – which almost made The Wife pass out.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
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On This Date In 1861 – Major General George McClellan is appointed commanding general of the Army of the Potomac, the US Army element charged with the defense of what was then known as Washington City. McClellan, a talented administrator and organizer, presided over improvements in the defense of Washington City and his army grew from 50,000 to 168,000 men. Unfortunately, he seldom led those troops into battle. Although he was named general-in-chief of the Union armies in November, 1861, McClellan’s hesitancy and tactical indifference when he did fight saw him relieved of all Union army responsibilities by November 1962.
In 1951 – Jim Russell of the of the Brooklyn Dodgers becomes the first player in major league history to hit home runs from both sides of the plate in the same game twice in a career. Russell homered in the first and fifth innings as the Dodgers defeated the St Louis Cardinals 7-5. Russell had first accomplished the feat in 1948 as a member of the Boston Braves and though rare at the time, this feat has since been accomplished so many times it no longer has any statistical significance. Other sites that list this feat as having occurred in 1951 are incorrect.
In 1975 – Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for their only week with The Hustle. The song also went to #1 in Canada, had earlier spent a week at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and also earned a Grammy Award for Best Pop Instrumental Performance. Though The Hustle was McCoy’s only Top 40 hit, he was an accomplished songwriter and producer. He died of a heart attack in 1979.
Quotebook One must wait until the evening to see how splendid the day has been. Sophocles
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Hoyt Wilhelm started 52 games in his major league career.
Today’s Stumper Who replaced Major General McClellan as general-in-chief of the Union army? – Answer next time!
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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, July 25 Boy, I felt good when I woke up this morning…I don’t which one of the three potions I took yesterday – baking soda, Yoder’s Good Health Elixir, or Pepto – did the trick, or maybe all three tagged-teamed on it, but I woke up strong.
The Daily Dose/July 25, 2019
By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Friends, The Daily Dose will return.
Click here to read today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Sparrow is named Employee of the Month at the hotel and he takes a half-day off from the VSO.
Usually, of course, we charge for prime drivel like this, but today’s entry is offered with our compliments.
Thank you for reading,
Gaylon
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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, July 24 And Sparrow is the hotel’s Employee of the Month for June, bay-bee!!!
It took them long enough to name me…I mean, usually, new Employees of the Month are named, you know, within a few days of the end of the month they’re named for, not three weeks later…But there was a certificate in my box and a check for $100 and a $50 gift card to the restaurant…Plus, the ugly pic Brandon took of me earlier this week is up on the wall.
The Daily Dose/July 24, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off As readers of this feature know, we’ve been featuring Apollo 11 both in this segment and in the On This Date segment this week. It’s the 50th anniversary of what Roy Neal of NBC News called man’s greatest adventure and today marks the 50th anniversary of the end of that mission when Apollo 11’s splashed down in the Pacific Ocean.
The term man’s greatest adventure is appropriate, simply because of where we went. Other adventures we’ve taken over the centuries would come close to qualifying, too and some of those might even be more incredible because Apollo had the support of 400,000 others guiding them. Other adventurers lacked this luxury. When you get right down to it, though, Apollo 11 was merely humans being humans: we saw someplace we’ve never been and we decided to go there.
And when you get right down to it, Apollo didn’t really find anything earth-shattering, either. Certainly, an unmanned mission could have discovered everything us humans did. Sure, they brought some rocks back, but the mysteries of how and why we were formed are still with us. That’s all right. Like great explorers before and since, the twelve men who walked on the moon found what was there for them to find.
No, the greatest legacy of Apollo is not what they did, but that they actually went and did it. Nine times we sent men to the moon. Three missions (Apollos 8, 10, and 13) orbited the moon and came home while the others landed, explored, took off, and came home. Us humans are no longer wondering what it’s like to be on the moon because every July 20th, Apollo provides an example of what we’ve accomplished.
Apollo still has one more mission to accomplish, though: to inspire us to once again see how far we can go. Perhaps one day it will accomplish that mission.
Today At The Site The Diary of a Nobody: Amy is in for some night audit training, and it’s been a triumphant week of sleep for Sparrow so far. Today’s Diary.
Amy was out front when the crew came by for 0400 muster…I don’t do that..Now, it is a time-honored front desk clerk instinct to be at the front desk when the lobby is occupied…It’s a good instinct, frankly, but with the 0400 crew I don’t bother…Their coffee service is ready and if they need me they know they can ring the bell…As it was, the crew consumed almost a pot of coffee this morning but the big news the favored creamer today was half & half…I am not making this up…French vanilla got some modest action, but hazelnut, usually a 0400 bellwether, got no action at all.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
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On This Date In 1969 – Man’s greatest adventure – the first lunar landing – ends as Apollo 11 splashes down in the Pacific Ocean, about 900 miles west of Hawaii. Originally, Columbia found itself upside down, but the ship was righted when bags designed to right upside down command modules were deployed. The crew was met by Navy frogmen who tossed in isolation garments after opening the hatch and the crew was ultimately lifted to a helicopter, flown to the USS Hornet and immediately placed into quarantine, where they would remain for three weeks. The entire mission, from liftoff to splashdown, took 195 hours, 18 minutes, and 35 seconds.
In 1968 – Hoyt Wilhelm of the Chicago White Sox establishes a new major league record for most appearances by a pitcher, appearing in his 907th career game, pitching the final inning in a 1-0 White Sox loss to the Oakland Athletics. Wilhelm broke the record established by Cy Young, who had first set the mark in 1905. Wilhelm made his first major league appearance on April 18, 1952 with the New York Giants, and after the 1972 season with 1,070 games pitched. The record was broken in 1998 by Dennis Eckersley and is now held by Jesse Orosco, with 1,252 games pitched.
In 1961 – Bobby Lewis is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third of seven consecutive weeks with Tossin’ and Turnin’. It was the first of two top 40 hits for Lewis, who later in the year hot #9 with One Track Mind. Tossin’ and Turnin’ was also in its fourth of ten weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’s biggest hit of the year, its fourth-biggest of the decade, and it placed 36th on Billboard’s 60th anniversary Hot 100 chart last year. Now 96, Lewis lives in New Jersey.
Quotebook I would have been happy doing anything they told me to do. Neil Armstrong
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Three Chicago White Six pitchers have thrown perfect games: Charlie Robertson, Mark Breuhle, and Philip Humber.
Today’s Stumper How many games did Hoyt Wilhelm start in his major league career? – Answer next time!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, July 23 Amy was in for night audit training tonight…I know all of you remember Amy from her disastrous tour as GM at Hotel B last year…It wasn’t her fault, of course…As I’ve noted here Jesus H Christ Himself would have had a difficult time flourishing at Hotel B…She’d had some night audit training under Q on my nights off (yes, she did witness the stabbing and yes there will be further details coming up) and she’s had plenty of front desk shifts, which I didn’t have, so we were not starting from scratch.
The Daily Dose/July 23, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest from the stabbing at the hotel, plus the crew runs roughshod over morning coffee service. Today’s Diary.
What was funny with the Halliburton crew’s coffee service this morning is that very little coffee was consumed but boy, they did blow thru the creamers, all three, too: half and half, hazelnut and French vanilla…All were pillaged, it wasn’t safe for women and children and it was only because I was a trained professional that I was able to bring some order to the matter…What the hell was going on???…Were they only drinking creamer???…If so, did they use our provided cups, or were they doing shots???…How in theeee hell to you use a dozen creamers, at least, and two drops of coffee???
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
More drivel! Click on the button to read all of The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future:
On This Date In 1983 – What History now refers to as the Gimli Glider, actually Air Canada Flight 143, lands without fuel at a former Royal Canadian Air Force Base near Gimli, Manitoba. All 69 people on board survived, though ten were injured while being evacuated. Flight 143 was on it’s way from Montreal to Edmonton and plane ran out of fuel because the amount of fuel needed had been calculated in pounds instead of kilograms.
In 2009 – Mark Bruehle of the Chicago White Sox throws the 18th perfect game in major league history, retiring all 27 Tampa Bay Rays he faces in a 5-0 White Sox victory. The perfect game was saved by a splendid defensive play by center fielder DeWayne Wise, who stole a home run from Gabe Kapler leading off the ninth inning. Wise scaled the fence in left-center field, had possession of the ball, then lost and only caught the ball on his way down. The Catch, as it is known in Chicago, is commemorated on the outfield at the spot it happened.
In 1977 – Barry Manilow is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final time as Looks Like We Made It is at the top for its only week. The song as written by Will Jennings and Richard Kerr and also charted in Canada, where it peaked at #9, and in Australia, where it peaked at #91. It was Manilow’s sixth of eleven Top 10 hits and the seventh of the then-record eighteen consecutive Top 40 hits that started his career.
Quotebook So they redefined evil…In the meantime the family on the summit was haunted by the sight of white relatives in slavery to them. Henry Wiencek Master of the Mountain: Thomas Jefferson and His Slaves
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Lance Armstrong and Floyd Landis are the two Americans who have Tour de France titles stripped from them.
Today’s Stumper How many Chicago White Sox pitchers have thrown perfect games? – Answer next time!
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