The Daily Dose/July 12, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow wakes up at 4:30 in the morning and oversleeps. Today’s Diary.

I think Jerry and his wife have moved…Recall there was a U-Haul at their house last week and there’s no reason to hire a U-Haul for storage…Besides, it’s long gone and their house is showing signs of not being occupied. The grass is getting pretty long and their cars aren’t around and, despite the fact he said the house was sold, the For Sale sign is still up…I did some checking online and it is neither listed as sold nor is it on the market, tho I seem to recall the For Sale sign was up on The Shire until the before we closed.  

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1862 – The United States Congress authorizes the Medal of Honor for the Army. This followed the establishment of a similar award for the Navy the previous December. Awarded initially for essentially winning a game of capture the flag, the Medal of Honor is now awarded for “Conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty”. It was been awarded 3,524 times to 3,504 men and one woman. 19 men have won the Medal twice, 14 for different actions, while five received the Army and Navy medals for the same action.

In 1931 – The St Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs establish a new major league record for most doubles in a game by both teams, hitting 23 in the second game of a doubleheader won by the Cardinals 17-13. The teams combined for nine doubles in the first game, and the 32 for the doubleheader, including 17 by the Cardinals for both games, also established major league records. All three of these records still stand. 

In 1975 – The Captain and Tennille are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth and final week with Love Will Keep Us Together. It was their first chart single and the first of seven Top 10 hits and two #1s (Do That to Me One More Time, 1979). The song also went to #1 in Australia and Canada, was Billboard’s biggest hit of 1975 and won a Grammy Award for Record of the Year. The pair, married in 1975, divorced in 2014 and Dragon died earlier this year. 

Quotebook
The sportsman trains himself and primes for his particular game. He prays for it, and so he gets it. After due…and long preparation…he goes out…{to a place where} most of his townsmen never saw nor dreamed of…He had them halfway in his bag when he started, he has only to shove them down.
Henry David Thoreau
Diary entry, 11/4/1858

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first act to have their only hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 go to #1 were the Elegants, who spent one week at the top in 1958 with Little Star.

Today’s Stumper
When were the US Air Force and Coast Guard Medals of Honor established? – Answer next time!

The Daily Dose/July 11, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
At first we thought we’d misread the headline. We keep odd hours and there are times we are up for many hours straight and sometimes these things happen. But we didn’t:

MLB To Experiment With Stealing First Base

Then we thought it was from one of those parody news sites that can usually be counted for nonsense like this. No, it was from a legitimate news source and it is not April 1. 

Starting this week, batters in the independent Atlantic League – which has contracted with MLB to test drive screwy new rules – will have the opportunity to gain first base by stealing it if the catcher does catch the ball. You heard that right: batters will be able to advance to first not only on a walk or a fair batted ball, but on a wild pitch or a passed ball. 

Good gravy, in his wildest, pinch-hitting midget dreams Bill Veeck probably never thought of this. Forget the sheer schizoidness of this rule, let’s take a practical look at it: when does the batter become in jeopardy of being thrown out? Well, we did some research on this and it turns out the batter will become a runner when both feet have left the batter’s box or when the plate umpire thinks he’s running to first. If there already is a runner on first, a force is created, meaning there could be a double play. All right, that’s not unreasonable. We had some other questions, but we worked through those ourselves. 

This week brings some other, exciting rules changes to the Atlantic League. For example, balls and strikes the rest of the season will be called by an electronic gizmo that will send the results immediately to the plate umpire, who will dutifully make the call. They are also making dry, technical changes to the check swing rule. Fortunately, a rule to move the pitcher’s mound back two feet – two feet! – was put off until next season. 

Christ, why don’t they just start with the bases loaded every inning? Good gravy, put up the circus tents at the old ballgame because what’s next, home run hitting contests instead of extra-innings? The way things are going, Atlantic League fans will be singing Send in the Clowns at the seventh-inning stretch before the season ends.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: There is some quality creamer drivel from the hotel, and Sparrow has a pleasant day at the VSO. Today’s Diary. 

In other creamer news, I put some hazelnut creamer in my morning oatmeal…Recall the retailer didn’t have any of my fave flavored low-sugar oatmeal – which doesn’t taste that great, honestly – so I rolled with some instant regular stuff…For extra flavor I bought some packets of a nut/cranberry mix to throw in…This was a good idea but, as usual, I didn’t put enough water in and I don’t like oatmeal that is too dry and I was about to add some more water in and the creamer was right there in the coffee room and before you can say “Sparrow is a maniac” there was some creamer in my oatmeal…It was pretty good, too.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1804 – Vice President of the United States Aaron Burr shoots and mortally wounds former Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton in a duel in Weehawken, New Jersey – across the Hudson River from New York City. The two had long been bitter rivals and while accounts vary, it is not unreasonable to conclude that Hamilton intentionally shot into the air while Burr intentionally shot into Hamilton’s stomach. Burr was charged with murder in both New Jersey and New York, but didn’t stand trial in either jurisdiction and completed his term as vice president. 

In 1985 – Nolan Ryan of the Houston Astros strikes out Danny Heep of the New York Mets n the sixth inning at the Astrodome to become the first major league pitcher to record 4,000 career strikeouts. Ryan would pitch seven innings and have no decision in Houston’s 4-3, 12 inning victory. Ryan would record his 5,000th career strikeout in 1989 and retired after the 1993 season with 5,714 strikeouts, still the all-time major league record. 

In 1960 – The Hollywood Argyles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 with Alley Oop. The song would spend one week at the top and also peaked at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart. The group, really a collection of session musicians and singers, got its name from Argyle Street, which was near their recording studio in Hollywood. They had no other songs hit the Hot 100, making the Hollywood Argyles an ultimate one-hot wonmder – one of the few acts in chart history to have their only chart single go to #1.

Quotebook
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The major league record for most runs scored in a game by both teams is 49, when the Chicago Cubs defeated the Philadelphia Phillies 26-23 on August 25, 1922. The Phillies scored 14 unanswered runs in the last two innings and ended the game with the bases loaded.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the first act in Hot 100 history to have their only Hot 100 hit go to #1? – Answer next time!

The Daily Dose/July 10, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a busy night at the hotel, and attends his small town post’s Legion meeting. Today’s Diary.

After that, I attended our small town Legion post’s monthly meeting, both in my role as district commander, commander of their Sons of the Legion squadron and as the new VSO…I was one of five people there.

The big news is Steve, the new post adjutant, discovered some standing water in the crawl space underneath the hut while he was fixing some flooring in the kitchen area…This caused no small amount of discussion amongst the old guys there because standing water in the crawl space is bad…There was a rather technical discussion about how it got there, as well as the developing of plans to both get rid of it and prevent it from happening again…Needless to say I contributed to none of it…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1925 – Indian spiritual master Meher Baba speaks for the last time, thereafter maintaining silence until his death in 1969. Baba, who believed he was God, communicated that he chose to maintain silence because nobody was listening to him anyway, citing the wars, hatred, and greed common amongst us humans. During his silence Baba communicated via an alphabet board and by hand gestures.

In 1932 – The Philadelphia A’s defeat the Cleveland Indians 18-17 in 18 innings, in a game that established a variety of major league records. Cleveland outfielder Johhny Burnett established a major league record with nine hits, Philadelphia pitcher Ed Rommel gave up a record 29 hits, pitching 17 innings in earning his final big league win, and the teams combined for a record 33 hits, all records that still stand. Burnett’s record of eleven at-bats in a game has been tied several times and the combined 35 runs was an American Leaggue record until 1950. The game was tied 15-15 at the end of nine innings, and both teams scored twice in the 16th inning.

In 1976 – The Starland Vocal Band is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Afternoon Delight. The song also peaked at #94 on the country chart and later that year a version by Johnny Carver was a Top 10 country hit. The group was also the inaugural winner of the Grammy Award for Best Arrangement for Voices, an award that was discontinued after 1986. While the group had other Hot 100 hits, the Starland Vocal Band remains one of the few acts whose only Top 40 hit went to #1.

Quotebook
But men must know that in this theatre of man’s life it is reserved only for God and angels to be lookers on.
Francis Bacon

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The US presidents who have died in office are: William Henry Harrison (1841). Zachary Taylor (1850), Abraham Lincoln (1865), James Garfield (1881), William McKinley (1901), Warren Harding (1923), Franklin D Roosevelt (1945), and John F Kennedy (1963).

Today’s Stumper
What teams hold the major league record for most runs in a game by both teams? – Answer next time!

The Daily Dose/July 9, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
We took this past Saturday off, something we don’t do too often. We enjoy writing for you and the nature of two of our features, The Diary of a Nobody and The Daily Dose, demand they be written every day, but sometimes this proves a bit much. 

(It is almost interesting to note that taking Saturday off means you get Saturday off from reading our crap. Our actual day off is Friday, because Saturday’s stuff is written on Friday. Now you know.)

We don’t take days off on a whim. Some reading this pay good money to read The Diary of a Nobody on a daily basis and daily basis means every day not whenever the hell we want. But Friday, boy, nothing was clicking. Nothing was asserting itself for writing later that day and we did sit down to write every word was a Herculean effort. 

Well, while writing is work, it should not be drudgery, and we’ve learned over the years it is best not to write when this happens because the results are not worth reading. We take a great deal of pleasure in ensuring every word means something – to us, at least – and if we’re just banging content out because we need something for tomorrow we’re not writing, we’re merely typing and you and I both deserve better than that. 

So we appreciate your indulgence in our occasional days off. Two columns a day, every day, is a lot. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: This will surprise you, but Sparrow is whining. Today’s Diary. 

Proof that ol’ Sparrow will whine about anything can be found in the fact yours truly is whining about sleeping too much…Regular readers of this know ol’ Sparrow prefers to wake up mid-to-late afternoons on Tuesdays, but this much Monday sleep might make that problematic.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1850 – President of the United States Zachary Taylor dies at the White House, five days after becoming ill at a 4th of July celebration. History suspects Taylor died of gastroenteritis, though History isn’t entirely sure of this. Taylor was the second president to die in office and was succeeded by Vice President Millard Fillmore, who maintains order by asking the entire Cabinet to resign. Fillmore ran for the Whig Party presidential nomination 1852 but was defeated by army General Winfield Scott, who in turn lost the general election to Franklin Pierce. 

In 1877 – The first Wimbledon tennis championships get underway, with 22 men, who each paid one guinea to enter, competing. It was a fairly leisurely tournament, with Spencer Gore not winning the inaugural title until July 19. The tournament was organized as a fundraiser to pay for repairs to maintenance gear and, after paying Gore 12 guineas, the tournament showed a profit of ten guineas. The first ladies tournament was played in 1884. 

In 1955 – The Rock Era in American popular begins when Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley & His Comets is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor of the Hot 100. It is the first rock & roll song to hit #1 and would spend eight weeks at the top. The song also peaked at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’s second biggest hit of the year and remains Haley’s only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, where it’s charted several times, and returned to the Hot 100 in 1974, peaking at #39.

Quotebook
“The money is important,” he says. “But you don’t do it for the money.”
“What do you do it for?” I say.
“The beauty,” he says softly. “The beauty.”
Gus Caputo and Bobby Fallon
Flesh and Blood
By Pete Hamill

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Coca-Cola, IBM, and Proctor & Gamble are the components of the Dow Jones Industrial Average today that were also components on July 8, 1932.

Today’s Stumper
Who are the presidents of the United States who died in office? – Answer next time!