The Daily Dose/Sunday, April 28, 2019

The Daily Dose/April 28, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom V
The very worst of the week that was, now numbered with a Roman numeral, like Super Bowls and world wars. 

  1. Democratic Presidential Nomination Field – With the announcement that NYC cab driver Tommy Shines has entered race, every registered Democrat in US has now declared candidacy, showing party is as disjointed and fractured as the rest of America. 
  2. Minimum Wage – Democratic candidates now racing to pander to unions about raising minimum wage despite fact government-mandated wages merely raise business costs which are passed on to you and me, raising everybody’s standard of living, thereby negating benefits of making more money. 
  3. Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Sunday Bottom V pollsters “pretty sure” they have no idea why it took so long to read as good a book as our species had produced…Book cuts right to the heart of our human experience, pointing out that 1) us humans, without fail, always do what’s in our self-interest, the only variable being what that self-interest is and 2) some people accept the status quo while 3) some people do not.
  4. Pro Hockey Playoffs – Hold on to your hats, both NHL conference top seeds and all other division champions, plus last year’s finalists, were all dismissed in first round…Meanwhile, Sunday Bottom V pollsters fave San Diego Gulls soar into second round of AHL playoffs. 
  5. US Drone Strikes – Special Olympics reps declare extra cupcake, punch ration for US commanders as drone strikes finally hitting magic baker’s dozen 13 mark  for kids deaths in 2019…Calling then “superfluous, President Trump rescinds government drone strike reporting requirement, which they had been ignoring anyway, though drone fans comfort themselves with fact previous government reports weren’t particularly accurate to begin with.  
    Source: Bureau of Investigative Journalism

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody
Sparrow has three walk-ins at the hotel and presides over the spring Legion district convention. Today’s Diary. 

Greg was talking with some others about other district commanders and how there are those who are hell-bent on having “total control” of their districts…I was sitting at one end of the table and I glance off to my left…Bob, Stanko, and Ed, whose commander of the post in the next county, are there.

“Do I have total control???”

This got some laffs, as it should have…It’s a pretty good line…Stanko, who comes from rather serious central European stock, treated it as a legitimate query, however, shaking his head and saying no…Then Ed opened his yap:

Ed: You think you do, tho…
Sparrow: Well, let me know when I do…
Ed, nodding his head: I’ll keep you posted, Commander.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Endless drivel: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future. 

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1986 – The first public signs of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster – which happened two days earlier – are seen when workers at a Swedish nuclear facility show increased levels of radiation. Curious, the Swedish government asked the Soviet Union government if, you know, they had had a nuclear disaster recently, which led to the Soviet’s first public acknowledgment of the incident.

In 1930 – The first regular season night game in American professional baseball is played in Independence, Kansas, when the Muskogee Chiefs defeat the Independence Producers 13-3 in a Class C Western Asociation game. Previous minor league night games had been exhibitions and the first major league night game would not be played until 1935. 

In 1973 – Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon is at #1 Billboard’s album chart – then known as the Top LPs & Tape chart and now known as the Billboard 200. It would appear regularly on the chart for the next 15 years and reappeared again in 2009 after Billboard changed its criteria for charting. Despite the fact The Dark Side of the Moon has spent a record 942 weeks on Billboard’s album chart over the decades – the equivalent of over 18 years – this was the album’s only week at #1. 

Quotebook
…there was the powerful impulse of vanity, a motivation which has never had its due recognition in historical works.
William E. Woodward

The Way Our People Lived

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
There was not a Trivia question last time, silly. 

Today’s Stumper
What album currently on Billboard’s album chart has spent the most total weeks on the chart? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 27

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, April 27, 2019

The Daily Dose/April 27, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody
Sparrow gets the first lawn mowing of the season in. today’s Diary.

The lawn remains its usual eclectic collection of grasses, weeds, nad whole grains, but it’s not up to The Shire’s usual standards yer…There are three or four dead spots from where piles of leaves were left over the winter and back by the alley there are a couple of places where some chunks of grass and dirt had been torn out, which I can’t explain at all, tho I am hardly Mr Lawn Care…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Endless drivel: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1992 – Bety Boothroyd becomes the first woman elected speaker of the British House Commons in its 700-year history. A member of the Labour Party, Boothroyd was first elected to Parliament in 1973. Now 89, Boothroyd is retired from the House of Commons and as a former Speaker now sits in the House of Lords.

In 1963 – Brian Sternberg of the United States breaks the world record in the pole vault, vaulting 16 feet, 3-¾ inches at the Penn Relays in Philadelphia, breaking the record set by Finland’s Pentti Nikula by two-and-a-half inches. Sternberg would break the record two more times over the next several weeks, only to be made a quadriplegic in July following a trampolining accident. He died in 2013, an extraordinarily long time for a quadriplegic to live. 

In 1974 – TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia) by MFSB and the Three Degrees is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of two consecutive weeks. MFSB was a collection of Philadelphia studio musicians and TSOP remains their only Top 40 hit, though had others songs hit the Hot 100. The theme of the TV show Soul Train, TSOP was the first TV theme song to hit #1 on the Hot 100. Earlier the song had spent a week at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart.

Quotebook
Ars longa, vita brevis- art is long and time is fleeting. This is the tragedy of every great soul.Will Durant

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Luna 9, launched by the Soviet Union, was the first spacecraft to land on the moon, on February 3, 1966.

Today’s Stumper
The Trivia feature will return.

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 26

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The Daily Dose/Friday, April 26, 2019

The Daily Dose/April 26, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody:
Sparrow returns home from his veteran service officer training in the big city and is immediately confronted with a home repair.

…even tho The Wife told me what happened, I am still not entirely sure what the deal was because the jack is behind a bookcase…Something about chasing the cat and something falling…I don’t know and I’m hardly Joe Friday so I’m not going to get too worked up about it…So I bought a couple of phone jacks – one for extra, just in case I mucked the first one up – and I was able to get it fixed in short order.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply doesn’t stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1962 – The United States reaches the moon for the first time when Ranger 4 crashes into the moon’s far side. The mission was originally designed to have the spacecraft crash on the near side, taking pictures and gathering other data before impact, but computer failure prevented assorted instruments from being deployed and no scientific data was transmitted.

In 2017 – Gift Ngoepe of the Pittsburgh Pirates becomes the first native of Africa to appear in a major league game. Ngoepe enters the game in the fourth inning and goes 1-for-2 with a walk in his major league debut as the Pirates defeat the Chicago Cubs 6-4. Ngoepe was later traded to Toronto and currently plays in the Phillies’ organization with Lehigh Valley in the International League (AAA).

In 1980 – Call Me by Blondie is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of six consecutive weeks. It was the group’s fourth Top 40 hit and their second of four #1 and Top 10 records. Call Me also went to #1 in Great Britain and Canada, was Billboard’s biggest song of the year and the eighth biggest of the decade.

Quotebook
The laws of necessity, or self-preservation, of saving our country when in danger are of higher obligation.
Thomas Jefferson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Adolf Eichmann is the only person executed by Israel for war crimes. He was hanged in 1962 after being captured in Argentina.

Today’s Stumper
What was the first spacecraft to successfully land on the moon? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 25

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, April 25

The Daily Dose/April 25, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
One of life’s great prizes is when something long-awaited but never guaranteed happens. Like you, we’ve had our share of these over the years and the one we are going to talk about today is jury duty because it came close to happening a second time this week. We were in possession of a jury summons but I suspect the guy or gal copped a plea because the trial was canceled.

We go way back with jury duty because Dad seemed to get it every three weeks and while he wouldn’t talk about the trial while it was going on of course, he would afterward and I always loved hearing his jury duty stories and could not wait until I was on a jury of my own.

It was a long wait. One time, in our 20s in California, we were actually in the jury box sitting right next to this babe and we’re thinking “hot damn, made it” when the nitwit who got his law license in a Cracker Jack box and who was masquerading as an attorney for the local water utility thanked me for stopping by before kicking me out. I was a newspaper reporter at the time and that might have had something to do with it, but who knows?

Ten years ago, though, it happened, the long wait was over, we were actually on a jury, and the foreman no less…We found a kid guilty of drunk driving but not guilty of causing significant bodily harm, or something like that…On the way up the very slow elevator at the Las Vegas courthouse, the bailiff assigned to protect us joked there was a nice three-month civil trial waiting for us and the elevator was so slow a guy was actually sitting on the floor and he must have been on trial for something because he reminded us of the presumption of innocence all accused enjoy in this country, a line which still makes us laugh.

But the last couple of times we’ve received a summons we never even had to go in. Oh well. We’ll keep hoping, and if you’re one of those who dreds jury duty, consider embracing it. It’s a nice civic duty and who knows, your story may inspire your kids or grandkids to want to be jurors one day.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody
Sparrow is back in the big city. It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The light rail was pretty efficient…I paid $6 for a day pass but unless there is some high tech tracking method I don’t know about, I could have not paid and gotten away with it because nobody asked to see my pass…I remember riding the subways back east and there was no way you were getting on the train without having shown your pass to someone.

The drivel simply doesn’t stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1988 – One week after being found guilty in Israel for war crimes committed in World War II, John Demjanjuk – a Ukranian born naturalized America citizen who was then 68-years-old – is sentenced to death by hanging. Demjanjuk’s conviction would be overturned by the Israeli Supreme Court in 1993, his US citizenship reinstated, only to be lost again when he was deported to Germany in 2009 to face similar charges. He was convicted again, but died in 2012 while his appeals were still pending.

In 2001 – Rickey Henderson of the San Diego Padres becomes the all-time walks leader in the major leagues, drawing a base on balls for the 2,063rd time. The walk was issued by Jose Mesa of the Philadelphia Phillies, and Henderson broke the record that had been held by Babe Ruth. Henderson would retire with 2,190 career walks, and the record is now held by Barry Bonds with 2,558.

In 1953 – (How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?, a novelty song by Patti Page, is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor of the Hot 100 – for the sixth of eight consecutive weeks. It was the 13th of 23 Top 10 hits for Page and her fourth and final #1. The song also went to #1 in Australia and Luxembourg and was the first #1 song in America to have a question mark in the title.

Quotebook
The people are quite willing to go to sleep if they are never called upon.
Clay Jenkinson
As Thomas Jefferson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers (1952-54; 2000-02) and the Chicago Bulls (1991-93; 1996-98 are the other NBA teams besides the Boston Celtics to win at least three consecutive NBA titles.

Today’s Stumper
Who is the only person executed by Israel for war crimes? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 24

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, April 24, 2019

The Daily Dose/April 24, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: 
Sparrow takes a phone call at the hotel, and shows Tammy a way to find and replace items in a Word doc. Today’s Diary.

To replace last month’s code with the current code she typed in the new code over an old one, highlighted it, then cut-and-pasted the new one in…Well, I said, I have an easier way and would you like to see it???…Of course she would, so I showed her the Find-and-Replace technique, which Tammy immediately hailed as Innovation of the Week.

The drivel simply doesn’t stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1800 – The Library of Congress is established when President John Adams signs the act of Congress that also authorized the transfer of the seat of government from Philadelphia to Washington D.C., then customarily known as Washington City. The original collection consisted of 750 volumes, purchased from Britain and was originally housed in the Senate chambers of the new capitol building. Today the Library of Congress is one of the largest libraries in the work, with over 38 million books and other printed materials in over 400 languages.

In 1963 – The Boston Celtics become the first team to win five consecutive NBA titles, defeating the Los Angeles Lakers 112-109 in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Jerry West led all scorers with 32 points and Tom Heinsohn had 22 for the Celtics. It was the Lakers second straight loss to the Celtics in the finals. The Celtics would go on to win eight consecutive NBA titles and remain the only team to win more than three straight.

In 1976 – Disco Lady by Johnny Taylor is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth and final week. Earlier, the song had spent six weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart was Billboard’s 3rd biggest song of the year. Disco Lady was Taylor’s second Top 10 hit, the first Hot 100 #1 song to have the word ‘Disco’ in the title and remains his only #1 song.

Quotebook
I leave [my ideas] to take their chance in the world. If they are right, truth and experience will support them. If wrong they ought to be refuted and rejected.
Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Pete Rose scored the only run when Ken Johnson became the only major league pitcher to lose a nine-inning, complete game, no-hitter. He took second following an error by Johnson, took third on a groundout and scored on another error.

Today’s Stumper
Besides the Boston Celtics, which other teams have won three consecutive NBA titles? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 23

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