The Daily Dose/December 1, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Jamal Khashoggi Is Still Dead: The G20 summit is underway in Buenos Aires. Pity, really. It should be the G2 Summit, the Saudi delegation meeting amongst themselves and whatever Argentinians were obliged to attend because everyone else sent regrets, or the the G19 Summit because everyone else told Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman not to bother showing up.

The Crown Prince, whom it is not reasonable to believe had nothing to do with Khashoggi’s murder, was hardly shunned Friday at the G20 Summit, getting face time with, among others British Prime Minister Theresa May and French President Emmanuel Macron, both of whom issued stern warnings to the crown prince, which may have caused the crown prince to nod solemnly while trying to stifle a laugh.

Because he got away with it. Sure, there will be some backlash and protests and misfit columnists writing in the wind, but he got away with. He knows it and we know it and it is business as usual. The crown prince could have chosen a low key way to make Khashoggi disappear – much like the Mafia made Jimmy Hoffa disappear – but he wanted to show the world how big his wanzer is and he did just that. He should have been a pariah at the G20 Summit, but instead is sitting at the head table.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets the OK from The Wife to apply for the vacancy on the town council and it is the first busy night at the retailer in a while.

I did get the car batteries taken to the back…and I got the trash and hangers taken to the back, too, but that was it…There wasn’t time for anything else…The service desk is still swamped with go-backs…I felt so bad I left a note at the service desk apologizing and Zach thanked me for my hard work and said he’d smack anyone in the morning who said squat.

On This Date
In 1824 – The United States Congress announces that no presidential candidate received a majority of 139 votes in the Electoral College, forcing the election to be decided by the House of Representatives. Andrew Jackson had earned 99 electoral votes, John Quincy Adams 84 and William Crawford 41. Henry Clay, the Speaker of the House, earned 37 electoral votes, but only the top three finishers were considered by the House. On February 9, Adams was elected president on the first ballot.

In 1924 – The first NHL game in the United States is played as the brand new Boston Bruins defeat the equally brand new Montreal Maroons 2-1 at the Boston Arena. Made up primarily of players unable to make the rosters of established NHL teams, the Bruins would not win their second game until January 10th and finished 6-24-0 that season, while the Maroons were slightly better, finishing at 9-19-2. The Boston Arena still stands, the home of the Boston University hockey team.

In 2018 – The unprecedented run of Meant to Be by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line atop the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart appears to be over. After 50 consecutive weeks at #1 – the longest any song has spent at the top of any Billboard singles chart – and one week at #2, Meant to Be falls to #4 this week. Speechless by Dan+Shay is in its first week at #1 on the Hot Country Songs chart this week, while Best Shot by Jimmie Allen is in its second week at #1 on Billboard’s Country Airplay chart.

Quotebook
 …there was the powerful impulse of vanity, a motivation which has never had its due recognition in historical works.
William E. Woodward
The Way Our People Lived

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Deep Purple by the brother and sister act Nino Tempo and April Stevens preceded I’m Leaving It Up to You by Dale and Grace at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It was the first time one duet replaced another duet at #1.

Today’s Stumper
The 1824 presidential election was the second decided by the House of Representatives. Which was the first? –Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/November 30, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Contact Light: Man returned to Mars this week when the InSight explorer landed safely this past Monday. The pics we’ve come to know and love from the Martian surface have been sent though, frankly, not much has changed. Among InSight’s objectives is to study the planet’s interior and while the project is managed by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, most of the instruments are European. It was launched this past May.

Yeah, Yeah, Whatever: It’s nice we can send machines to Mars. It would be better if we could send humans to Mars. Regular readers of this crap know we are unabashed fans of manned space travel here. Apollo 11 is one of our earliest memories and our own personal feeling is putting people on the moon is our species’ finest hour, bar none, it’s not even close. It is one of the lines of demarcation w – a dividing line between all that came before and everything that followed. We also believe that had we been sufficiently motivated, we could have had men on Mars in the 1980s.

Those that say our government can do better things with the money probably make a good point. But governments have funding exploration for centuries and there is no reason to stop now. It is in our DNA to explore. It’s why thousands of years ago men crossed rivers and climbed mountains and it’s why Columbus sailed west. It’s why we went to the moon and it’s why I asked my wife out on a date:

To find out what’s there. 

Some Philosophical Crap: Yes, it’s nice we can send unmanned spacecraft to Mars. They’ve done some useful things. But those who say a robot can do everything a human can do are wrong. Robots can do almost everything a human can do. The one thing they cannot do is tell us what it’s like to be there!

It’s why we went to the moon and it’s why we should go to Mars.

Today at the Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow and The Wife head into town for some shopping and lunch, plus they BBQ for dinner. In the Sleep Log, Sparrow gets 16 hours of sleep Wednesday night.

Every part of sleeping 16 hours was enjoyable…I enjoyed farting around Wednesday morning looking forward to it and I enjoyed waking up the couple of times I was obliged to use the can because it is satisfying to look at the clock and realize you still tons of sleep to look forward to and when the time came to wake up that was satisfying too, in a mission accomplished kind of way.

On This Date
In 1954 – Ann Hodges a 34-year-old housewife, is hit by a meteorite while taking a nap in her Oak Grove, Alabama home. The meteorite had crashed through the roof of the family home and bounced off a large radio console before landing on Hodges, who was napping on the couch. Hodges received some bruises but recovered and the incident remains the only recorded instance in the Western Hemisphere of a human being hit by a rock from space.

In 1991 – The United States win the first Women’s World Cup soccer tournament, defeating Norway in the title match 2-1 in Guangzhou, China. The Americans had won their pool before defeating Taiwan in the quarterfinals and Germany in the semifinals. The first tournament had twelve teams, though the tournament expanded to 16 teams in 1999 and 24 in 2015. The US has won the most titles, with three (1991, 1999, 2015).

In 1963 – Dale and Grace are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second and final week with I’m Leaving It Up to You. Their time on the charts was short: their follow-up the following year went to #8 and that was their final chart single. Dale and Grace were not related, a record company executive who knew Grace Broussard had heard Dale Houston sing in a Louisiana bar and thought they would make a good team.

Quotebook
I learned that the destination is only as worthwhile as the trip you are willing to take. And that the trip is always a toss-up.
Steve Walsh

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Army/Navy football game has been played on three college campuses: the United States Military Academy, the United States Naval Academy and Princeton University.

Today’s Stumper
I’m Leaving It Up to You by Dale and Grace marked the first time in Hot 100 history that a duo replaced another duo at #1. What song did I’m Leaving It Up to You replace at the top? –Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/November 29, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
You know, when you think about it, there aren’t many surprises in the murder of Saudi writer Jamal Khashoggi, the disclosure that the Saudis were behind it and the hardly unreasonable presumption that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman authorized it and perhaps even ordered it. As we’ve noted here before, the odd murder by a crown prince is hardly news: they’ve been racking them up for centuries. Heck, their history is so long if I’m the Saudi king I’m having my food tasted before every meal, even if the crown prince is far away.

Even President Trump’s shameful reaction to it is hardly a bulletin. One, it was completely in character with him personally. He cares nothing about anything except drawing attention to himself and his warped view of how this country should operate. Besides, do you really want to piss off a crown prince who authorizes murders? Probably not. As it has been since time immemorial, it’s easiest to just get along, especially when the claptrap about maintaining a strong economic relationship provides cover.

The American media refuses to get too worked up about it? That’s not a bulletin, either. They, by and large, have abandoned their roles as guardians of democracy and reporters of truth to become entertainers. Our favorite item that we haven’t seen in the American media is Aljazeera’s report that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo last week presented the Saudi royal family with a plan to shield them from blame in the Khashoggi affair.

Editor’s Note: Aljazeera runs a column that features running updates. Click here to read it.

Now, to be sure, there is strong resentment and objection to America’s sanctioning of Saudi writer Jamal Khashoggi’s murder. And Lord knows the rest of the world is getting their shorts in a knot, so much so the crown prince may well be an outcast at this weekend’s G20 summit. Generally, however, America’s citizens and media are accepting whatever our president chooses to spoonfeed us. In the past, it’s been lies and venom and now it’s legitimizing murder.

Our loss. We continue to get the government we deserve.

Today at the Site
The Diary of a Nobody: A relatively busy night at the hotel.

It was about 0640 or so and she wanted to pay cash which blew because then I have to drop the eight bucks and recount the drawer and fill in one of those spreadsheets that automatically figures everything out…This takes five whole minutes, taking away time from me sitting in the back office and putting my feet up on the desk.

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On This Date
In 1972 – Pong – the first commercially successful video game – is released by Atari to the public. Laughably simple by 21st century standards, Pong was a two-dimensional table tennis game for one or two players and was developed by Allan Alcorn as a training exercise. Pong was an immediate success, both in taverns and arcades and in the home.

In 1890 – Navy defeats Army 24-0 in the first Army/Navy football game at The Plain at West Point. It was the first intercollegiate football game in Army history, while Navy had first fielded a team in 1879. The next meeting is on December 11 in Philadelphia and Army has won two straight, though Navy leads the series  60-51-7. The old Philadelphia Municipal/John F Kennedy Stadium in Philadelphia has hosted the game the most times, 22. Seven stadiums have hosted it once, including Soldier Field and the Rose Bowl.

In 1975 – Silver Convention becomes the first German act to hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, as Fly, Robin, Fly is #1 for the first of three consecutive weeks. The song only hit #3 in their native Germany, but also went to #1 in Norway and Canada and also topped Billboards dance and soul charts. It was originally named Run Rabbit Run. 

Quotebook
What is modesty but hypocritical humility?…No doubt when modesty was made a virtue it was a very advantageous thing for the fools; for everybody is expected to speak of himself as if he were one.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The song that broke Once a Day by Connie Smith’s record for Most Weeks at #1 by a Female Solo Act on Billboard’s country chart was We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift, which spent nine weeks at #1 in 2012.

Today’s Stumper
On how many college campuses has the Army/Navy game been played? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/November 28, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
In The News will return.

Today at the Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow considers applying for a vacant seat on his small town’s Town Council, and he makes an ass of himself at the retailer not once, but twice.

I made an ass of myself twice tonight at the retailer…The first time I should have known better, the second, I could’ve sworn the woman was the kid’s mother, not his girlfriend.

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 14 – The Interregnum Poll!: With the Army/Navy game figuring so heavily in both the race for the Sgt Bilko Trophy – symbolic of service academy lousiness – and the Bottom Ten medal stand, the annual Interregnum Poll is here with the usual funny commentary you’ve come to expect.

7. The Holidays – Actually began right after July 4th this year, as Americans no longer allowed to enjoy summer without sleigh bells ringing…Entire country now merely awaiting Walmart, Amazon, to announce 2019 post-Easter He Is Risen sales will herald start of 2019 holiday season.

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On This Date
In 1925 – The Grand Ole Opry – then known as the WSM Barndance – debuts on WSM-AM in Nashville.  The Opry is still on the air on WSM, Saturdays at 7pm Central Time, the longest running radio show in US history. WSM also airs a Friday night show, plus seasonal shows on other nights of the week. The phrase ‘Grand Ole Opry’ was first used on December 10, 1927, by host and founder Geroge Hay, because his show followed an NBC Radio show that featured classical music and opera.

In 1929 – Ernie Nevers of the Chicago Cardinals establishes NFL records for Most Points in a Game and Most Touchdowns in a Game, scoring 40 points on six touchdowns and four extra points in 40-6 win over the Chicago Bears.  The record for points in a game still stands and Nevers’ six touchdown mark was equaled in 1951 by Dub Jones and in 1965 by Gayle Sayers. Exactly whose records Nevers broke is not entirely clear.

In 1964 – Once a Day by Connie Smith is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of eight consecutive weeks. Smith established two country chart records with this song: she was the first female solo act to hit #1 with her debut record, and Once a Day’s eight weeks at #1 was a record for a female solo act until 2012. Though Smith would hit the country Top 10 19 more times, Once a Day remains her only #1 hit.

Quotebook
Let everyone mind his own business, and endeavor to be what he was made.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The three United States Senators that voted against confirming Gerald Ford as vice president of the United States were Gaylord Nelson (Wisconsin), Thomas F. Eagleton (Missouri) and William D. Hathaway (Maine).

Today’s Stumper
What was the song that broke Once a Day’s record for Most Weeks at #1 by a Female Solo Act on Billboard’s country chart? – Answer Next Time!

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