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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, October 26
Scrambled to make arrangements to get the snow tires on The Wife’s car today…I had forgotten about it, frankly…Autumn so far has been rather warm and awfully sunny and snow tires haven’t really at the forefront of anyone’s mind…Except for The Wife…She called me today to remind me about it because she is heading to a conference next Thursday.
The Daily Dose/October 26, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
The march by Central Americans through Mexico toward the US continues. While the exact number of the zany migrants isn’t known, they remain over a thousand miles away and we’d be surprised if more than a few hundred actually make to the border. The government has dispatched 800 troops to the border area, the better to help repel the exhausted men and dangerous women and children who eventually make it. This is silly because we have laws for this situation and if we let these laws do their work instead of taking matters to DefCon 1 this would turn into the minor incident it really is. People would mass at the border and wait. And wait. And wait.
A couple of things here: first is how we are letting our government and our media get us all lathered up over what is, at least right now, nothing. Why are we worrying about people, regardless of their number, illegally entering Mexico? This is Mexico’s lookout, not ours. If the marching migrants want to make their way to Mexico and walk to the US, OK, there is little we can do about it. Those that do make it will long face waits to even get an asylum hearing and there are no guarantees.
What also struck us is that people will still risk everything to come to this once-proud country. America is a shooting gallery, our government a is a partisan, fractured and bickering mess and we probably will collapse before this half century is out but people are still walking thousands of miles to get here. More power to them. If you feel the violence, poverty and corruption is less here than where you are fleeing, give it a go.
Today At The Site
Sparrow watches and listens as The Wife casts her ballot after dinner on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. The Wife, not too surprisingly, favors women and Democrats and the local school district.
…afterward I joked that giving careful consideration to every measure really wasn’t what the white males of this country had in mind when they gave chicks the vote, they were really just supposed to vote how their husbands voted and she gave me the finger.
The Thought for the Day will return.
On This Date
In 1861 – The Pony Express ceases operations, two days after the transcontinental telegraph connected Omaha and Sacramento. During its 18 months of operation, the Pony Express, which operated from St Joseph, Missouri to Sacramento, cut the time it took mail to cross America to ten days. Horses were ridden at a gallop for 15 miles when riders, who rode between 80 and 100 miles at a time, would stop at the station and change horses.
In 1985 – The Kansas City Royals get two runs in the ninth inning to defeat the St Louis Cardinals 2-1 in Game 6 of the World Series. The inning started with one of the more famous missed calls in baseball history, when Don Denkinger called leadoff man Jorge Orta safe at first when he was really out. Orta was later retired at third on an attempted sacrifice and the both Royals runs came on a pinch-hit single by Dane Iorg. The Royals would win their first World Series the following night, defeating the Cardinals 10-0 in Game 7.
In 1968 – Hey Jude by the Beatles is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fifth of nine weeks. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain as well as 14 other countries and was Billboard’s #1 single of the year and decade. It remains the most weeks a Beatles single spent at #1 on the Hot 100.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
John Brodie was the quarterback and Billy Kilmer as the receiver for the San Francisco 49ers on the play where Jim Marshall of the Minnesota Vikings ran a fumble the wrong way.
Today’s Stumper
At the time, Hey Jude by the Beatles was the third song to spend nine weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. What were the other two? – Answer next time!
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Read Free Fortnight continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, October 25
The Wife filled out her ballot today…As she has done in the past, we sat down at the dinner table and she read every name and every measure out loud…My Congressional race led off and there aren’t a whole lot of women who have the chance to vote for their husbands for the United States House of Representatives, and The Wife took full advantage of this opportunity.
The Daily Dose/October 25, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
Like you might have, we played the lottery Tuesday night. We are not entirely sure why. Money has never been our ruling passion. If it were we’d have a more of it than we do and wouldn’t give the lottery a second glance. But for some reason $1 billion seemed to attract our interest.
Now, we would not object to earning a billion dollars but, boy, winning it, I don’t know, our instincts tell us this would cause problems. Everyone would want some of it and my wife would probably give it all away anyway, leaving me nothing to fund a proper Congressional campaign or buy a minor league hockey team with.
But we bought them, along with the attendant dreams, anyway. We have no idea why because for every dollar you win there is probably a hassle to go along with it. Besides, what am I going to do, write more? We already produce two, usually three, columns a day for you and we also have the occasional book project going. A billion dollars wouldn’t have changed that.
And, as we point out in The Thought for the Day, no external factor can produce anything the soul requires. Those that get on in this life answer to the inner compulsion to follow their hearts and trust their instincts. They make their time serve them and take advantage of what nature and circumstance provide. Money has nothing to do with this.
Which hardly explains why we also slummed and played the $600 Powerball game, too. Same deal as with MegaMillions: a quick pick and our usual guaranteed-win numbers. As we write this (mid-afternoon MDT on the 24th) the Powerball numbers haven’t been picked but it’s academic anyway because we inadvertently, peevishly tore up our Powerball slips when we tore up our MegaMillions slip.
We are not making that up. Good riddance, too. We’ll take the life we’ve earned.
Today At The Site
It’s Sparrow pulling his first full shift at Hotel C, doing some training and trying to decipher room codes on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody…Plus he approves the new Sparrow For Congress ads.
The Thought for the Day continues to enjoy some time off and will return.
On This Date
In 1962 – The Cuban Missile Crisis continues at the United Nations when US Ambassador Adlai Stevenson confronts his Soviet counterpart with photos of the missiles the Soviets were installing in Cuba. Despite this evidence, the Soviets again deny their existence. Later that night, US B-52 bombers went on continuous airborne alert for the only known time. The crisis would end on Oct 28 when the US agreed to remove all of its missiles in Turkey while the Soviets disarmed in Cuba.
In 1964 – Jim Marshall of the Minnesota Vikings picks up a fumble and runs the wrong way into his own end zone. The play came in the fourth quarter of a game in San Francisco after a pass play when Marshall picked up the fumble at this team’s 34-yard line and confidently began running the wrong way. After crossing the goal line Marshall tossed the ball out of bounds, which gave the 49ers two points on the safety.
In 1969 – I Can’t Get Next To You by the Temptations is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second and final week. The song was also towards the end of a five-week stint at #1 of Billboard’s R&B chart. It was the second of four #1s for the Temptations on the Hot 100 and the tenth of fifteen #1s on Billboard’s R&B chart.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The two #1 songs in 1982 that had the numbers nine and five in the title were 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton and Morning Train (Nine To Five) by Sheena Easton.
Today’s Stumper
Who were the quarterback and the receiver for the San Francisco 49ers who were involved in Jim Marshall’s running the wrong way play? – Answer next time!
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Read Free Fortnight continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, October 24
Boy, I’ll tell you, the system they use at Hotel C for checking guests in and out with is about as intuitive as chess…Good gravy, it’s complicated…Take, for example, room codes, which tell you how many and what sized beds a room has, whether it is a standard or a deluxe, has a patio or whatnot…Some places will have a K or Q depending on the size of the bed, and KK or QQ if there’s if there are two beds in the room, plus a couple of other letters designating this or that, but not at Hotel C…Here they’re a four or five letter code whose letters appear to have been selected at random by someone who’s stoned who has never set foot in a hotel before much less worked in one…Some other processes are not immediately clear, either, but that’s what training is for, of course, to learn stuff like this.
The Daily Dose/October 24, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
What’s funny in the disappearance and presumed death of Saudi writer Jamal Khashoggi is now inept the plot was. Did the Saudis really think that Khashoggi’s entering a public building under video surveillance and not coming out would produce anything other than international condemnation? Good gravy, a kid with a couple of Hardy Boys mysteries under his belt could have come up with something better than that.
Worse, did they really think they could do this with impunity? Did they really think the world would believe he picked a fight with 18 people and was beaten to death? Sure, politicians can plod their way through assorted affairs and scandals, but did the Saudis really believe murdering a writer in cold blood would go unnoticed?
Certainly, they could have come up with something where Khashoggi simply disappears. If they needed guidance, the Mafia could have sent them some literature on Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, which remains a masterwork of the genre because Hoffa has never been found. When killing him after he enters a public building under video surveillance came up, everyone should have held up a hand and said “wait, this is silly, it won’t work”.
It’s unlikely this will pass without significant sanction by the world, but the Saudis have money and oil and will continue to brazen their way through this until it is plain it is no longer feasible, so perhaps the world just slaps them on the wrist.
Today At The Site
Sparrow starts checking in guests at Hotel C on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, plus he has to fight Ed to do closing pages at the retailer.
[Patty] started yapping about how everyone has to get out of the store right now or get taken out back for beatings…Good gravy, she was worse than Ed and I told her page had all the warmth of a warden reading a death warrant…
It’s San Francisco, the New York Giants and Arizona on the medal stand as The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9 moves today. See if your favorite team is in the hunt for The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
4. Oakland Raiders (1-5; DNP) – Given week off after playing in London, Raiders held up at London airport as league tries to get Raiders to play remaining home games in Syria until new home in Las Vegas opens in 2020…Queen Elizabeth takes NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell out behind palace for beating for continuing to send lousy teams over…Next Loss: Indianapolis
The Thought for the Day will return.
On This Date
In 1901 – Anne Edson Taylor, looking to make a few bucks, becomes the first person to go over Niagra Falls in a barrel. A widow, Taylor, then 63, had bounced from job to job when she decided, like you probably would, to go over the falls in a barrel. Her barrel was specially constructed for the evolution and was padded with a mattress and Taylor carried her lucky pillow with her. The entire trip took about 20 minutes and Taylor survived with only a gash to her head. She never did make much money off the venture.
In 1943 – The Green Bay Packers establish an NFL record intercepting nine passes in a 27-6 win over the Detroit Lions. The record still stands and was matched by the Philadelphia Eagles in 1965. The Packers would intercept and NFL-record 42 passes that season, a record that stood until San Diego intercepted 49 passes in 1961.
In 1981 – Christopher Cross is at #1 for the second of three weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 with Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do). The song also went to #1 in Norway and Canada and would win the Oscar for Best Original Song the following year. It was the second and final #1 for Cross, following Sailing in 1980.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first #1 song on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Most Played Juke Box Folk Records chart – was Pistol Packin’ Mama by assorted acts, including Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters, on January 8, 1944.
Today’s Stumper
In 1981 the Billboard Hot 100 had two #1 songs that had the numbers nine and five in the title. Who were they by? – Answer next time!
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
While lacking the glamour of the Cleveland Browns chasing – and catching – history, the current race for The Dan Henning Trophy does see no less than three (3) 1-6 occupying the Week 9 Bottom Ten medal stand.
In other news, former Bottom Ten perennial Cincinnati, despite having a winning record, is welcomed back to the survey as Bottom Ten pollsters had warm, fuzzy feelings after their blowout loss to the Colts.
This week’s fiasco, as the nags approach the back stretch:
1. San Francisco 49ers (1-6; lost to Los Angeles Rams 39-10) – After losing close one, versatile 49ers mail it in for blowout loss to undefeated Rams…Current five (5)-game skid best in league…Next Loss: at Arizona
Read Free Fortnight continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, October 23
Started actually checking in guests today at Hotel C during the hour-and-a-half I was there…It’s not too hard, tho this hotel does not offer a complimentary breakfast because of the attached restaurant…We do, tho, offer a coupon for $8 that is worth $15 at the restaurant for your morning meal, but we don’t offer anything in the lobby except coffee.
The Daily Dose/October 23, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Friends, the Heavyweight Champion of the World, your Daily Dose, will return tomorrow. Apologies are issued.
We do have the usual Tuesday goodies for you, though:
The Diary of a Nobody
Sparrow has his first training session at Hotel C and it is another slow night at the retailer.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
UTEP is back at #1 after a week off, Earlham takes the Division III all-time losing streak home to put in their trophy case and it’s the closest Conference of the Week voting ever.
In The News, On This Date and Trivia will return tomorrow.
Read Free Fortnight continues!
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Give me a U!
After a week off to recharge for the tough Bottom Ten homestretch, UTEP returns to the top in the chase for the ESPNCup with their 19th straight loss.
In other news, the Bottom Ten Conference of the Week vote was the closest ever. Bottom Ten pollsters had to choose between the conference occupying two-thirds of the medal stand and the conference with the most teams in the survey. Bottom Ten pollsters kept their bar tabs open overtime this week while deciding the Conference of the Week honoree.
This week’s imbroglio:
1. UTEP (0-7; lost to Louisiana Tech 31-24)
Mitigating Factors: Miners come back strong following bye week, showing mettle expected of defending B-10 champions pulling out close, conference road loss…Miners never led, of course, but were dangerously tied 24-24 in fourth quarter…Current 19-game skid best in nation and best ever in B-10 Border Region since Tijuana Tech lost 37 straight in early 60’s.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel: First tentative whispers of achieving Holy Grail – Northwestern’s all-time major division losing streak of 34 straight – starting to be heard by most optimistic UTEP fan(s).
Next Loss: UAB
