The Daily Dose/January 5, 2017
The Daily Dose/January 5, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
NEW YEAR, NEW MATERIAL, RIGHT…RIGHT?: You would think we would find something else to write about.
I Guess Not: I mean, as usual, the world abounds with its usual tumult and other circumstances demanding a writer’s attention. For example, a new president takes office later this month and the times, as they usually are, are as contentious as they are momentous
The times interest us, too. We’ve been on the ballot for both the United States Senate and House of Representatives and we care about the world we live in and we enjoy writing about substantive matters for thoughtful people like you.
Hut, Hut Hike: But all we can think to write about right now is college football and how this great sport continues to be screwed up by those who run it.
We grew up in Rose Bowl country and generally go out of our way to watch it. Not this year. In fact, we didn’t even know who won it until the morning after the game. USC and Penn State, two schools whose football teams received some of the biggest sanctions the NCAA dealt out to anyone not named Southern Methodist, were the participants.
Hi Boys!: Penn State’s participation in particular, galled us. After keeping a child molester on staff for three decades, we’ve always felt Penn State should no longer be allowed to make off money off of major division intercollegiate football. Their program should’ve been shut down and, later, if they wanted to offer football they could’ve done so at a lower level.
The Heart Of The Matter: Regular readers of this crap know that, as usual, our biggest complaint was the lack of an NCAA-sponsored playoff at the major division level. Sure, there is a major division title game, but it followed a mere four-team invitational semifinal round.
The game is Monday night and there’s no real complaint about who’s playing, as both Alabama and Clemson are very good. Still though, the champions of the Big Ten and Big Twelve conferences were not given the opportunity to compete, which is hardly fair and we could bore you with other points we’ve made off and on over the years.
FunFact: We will remind everyone, however, that a 32-team NCAA sponsored major division football playoff could’ve begun Thanksgiving weekend and ended Monday, January 2. Such a playoff would become an American classic quicker than you could say “Bahamas Bowl”
Instead, we spent December being force fed bowl games – meaningless exhibitions, really – some featuring a team or teams that were not good enough to produce a winning record. Most were played in front of a lot of empty seats. Major division football schools are still making a lot of money, so good luck getting this to change. Maybe President-elect Trump and his Russian buddies can force a change.
GREAT MOMENTS IN CONVICTING THE INNOCENT: French Army Captain Alfred Dreyfus, recently convicted of treason, is stripped of his rank and sentenced to life imprisonment on Devil’s Island in French Guyana on this date in 1895.
Dreyfus was wrongly convicted. A few years later evidence who really gave French military secrets to the Germans was produced and Dreyfus was eventually completely exonerated, though not until he had to go through the hassle of being found guilty at another trail, after which he received a pardon and he eventually returned to the French Army.
Don’t Let Sam Walton Hear About This: Ford Motor Company announces it was unilaterally reducing the work day from nine to eight hours and doubling pay from $2.50 a day to $5.00 a day on this date in 1914.
The move caused other automakers to roll their eyes at ol’ Henry Ford, but Ford knew what he was doing. Production went up and profits doubled in two years.
Dry, Technical Matter: $5 a day comes out to about $15-an-hour in 2016 dollars.
And So It Began: The German Worker’s Party, which would eventually become the Nazi Party, is founded in Munich on this date in 1919. Membership was low initially, at least until September when Adolph Hitler, then an army veteran with no prospects, joined and began livening matters up.
Heatwave: The warmest reliably recorded temperature in the Antarctic – 59 degrees – is recorded on this date in 1974 at Vanda Station
Thought For The Day: Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits targets no one else can see. – Arthur Schopenhauer
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Of the three members of Apollo 8 – Frank Borman, James Lovell and William Anders – none would later walk on the moon. Borman would retire, Anders was on the Apollo 11 backup crew, but otherwise did not make another spaceflight while Lovell was commander of Apollo 13, which suffered an accident on the way out and did well to make it back to Earth.
Today’s Stumper: The Trivia feature will return!
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Final
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 16
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
It starts in August, in the heat of training camp, when already low expectations hit rock bottom.
Then the season starts and it’s a battle to see who can avoid the morale depleting two and three game winning streaks that spell disaster for teams seeking Bottom Ten glory.
In the end, Cleveland takes their first ever Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
It wasn’t easy. The Rams gave the 49ers their only two wins of the season, but the 49ers lost to the Bears, and Bottom Ten staffers are standing by to field the usual end-of-season complaints.
Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed reading this crap half has much as we enjoyed producing it, you enjoyed it an awful lot.
The final survey, as the nags stumble across the finish line:
1. Cleveland Browns (1-15; lost to Pittsburgh 27-24 OT) – Browns claim first-ever B-10 title with total team effort in finale, with defense, backed by four (4) turnovers by the offense, blowing two (2) leads….While Browns fan(s) miss out on glory of 0-16 season, splendor of B-10 title will make long winter bearable…2017 Outlook: Strong…Though Browns will have everybody gunning for them, they have gone from seven (7) to three (3) to one (1) win the past three seasons, so back-to-back Dan Henning Trophies definitely a possibility.
2. Chicago Bears (3-13; lost to Minnesota 38-10) – Bears become first team to be ranked #1 in penultimate poll, lose, then fall from top spot, despite never being in this one as turnovers on first two (2) possessions build deficit not even Vikings can blow…Bears finish season strong, losing four (4) straight and seven (7) of last eight (8)…Next Loss: Strong…Bears have finished last in NFC North the last three (3) seasons…Three (3) wins half of 2015 total, leaving Bear(s) fans wondering exactly how they’re going to manage to win one-and-a-half games in 2017.
3. Los Angeles Rams (4-12; lost to Arizona 44-6) – LA city council holding emergency, post-season session, seeing if there are any loopholes allowing them to send Rams back to St Louis, as Rams deliver coveted B-10 medal stand finish in first season back in Southland…Seven-game losing skid enough to take home John McKay Cup, issued to team with longest season-ending losing streak…2017 Outlook: With a new stadium opening in a couple of years and LA fans notoriously fickle, Rams must make strong B-10 statement in 2017 if they hope to have any long-term success in Southland, especially if the Chargers move in.
4. San Francisco 49ers (2-14; lost to Seattle 25-23) – Only two wins, but both came against Rams and is enough to keep 49ers off of B-10 medal stand…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” there are some strength of schedule factors in this final ranking, but aren’t entirely sure what they are…2017 Outlook: 49ers – just a couple of lousy plays and clutch penalties away from 0-16 this season – completely clean house, firing GM and head coach in quest for B-10 glory.
5. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13; lost to Indianapolis 24-20) – In topsy-turviest B-10 campaign in recent memory, Jaguars team left truly kicking themselves, as only win over Tennessee prevented season-ending eleven-game losing streak which, considering everything, probably would’ve resulted in first-ever B-10 title…2017 Outlook: Jaguars at their usual end-of-season crossroads, being just bad enough to never be taken seriously for playoff spot, but not being quite bad enough to earn B-10 title…To improve morale and ensure staff does not lose focus in offseason, owner Genghis Khan had entire scouting department water-boarded.
6. San Diego Chargers (5-11; lost to Kansas City 37-27) – Despite missing out on B-10 medal stand, Chargers still plan to hold heads high at B-10 awards banquet as only team to lose to Cleveland in 2017…Season-ending five (5)-game skid sends strong message heading into offseason activities, like getting second DUI and smacking down cops…2017 Outlook: Another team with usual end-of-season soul searching to do, Chargers are just a couple of impact players away from either going to the playoffs or winning B-10 title.
7. New York Jets (5-11; defeated Buffalo 30-10) – Not even season-ending win over Bills can curb enthusiasm of Jets return to final B-10 survey…Jets earn first ever Ed Koch Cup, issued to city’s worst NFL team, easily outdistancing Giants squad that qualified of NFL playoffs…2017 Outlook: 2016 featured wins over Cleveland and San Francisco and Jets staffers know they will to find a way to lose these games in 2017 if they are going to contend for coveted B-10 medal stand spots.
8. Tie Games (0-0-2) – Forget foisting as many Jacksonville games as possible off on London next year, forget concussions, forget players beating women without express, written consent of NFL…The biggest problem the NFL is ensuring that every game – every single one – has a winner…2017 Outlook: Not good…League has tinkered some with overtime rules, but it will probably still be possible for games not to have a winner in 2017.
9. NFC West (23-39-2) – With only one team with winning record, NFC West easy pick for annual Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division….Almost one-third of survey made up of once-proud division or its teams…Next Loss: Second Pete Rozelle Award since 2010, when it produced a champion with a 7-9 record, so there isn’t a whole lot more for NFC West to accomplish
10. Donald Trump – A couple of weeks before inauguration and the president-elect is giving no signs he is in this for anything other than consolidating wealth and power…Maybe part of his power trip will include producing an economy anchored in low taxes, free markets and minimal regulation and not convicting the innocent, or maybe not.
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The Thought for the Day – Adolph Hitler
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I didn’t know how or when, but I have waited for this day, and tonight I am here.
– Adolph Hitler, quoted in a biography by Peter Toland
We forget the exact context the quote was from. It was from late in the book and it may very well have been from his last day alive, April 30, 1945. Hitler’s headquarters was about to be overrun by the Soviet Red Army. He and his longtime mistress Eva Braun had married the day before and had spent the early part of April 30 preparing to lose the war and saying goodbye to staff members. Later, Hitler compelled his wife to kill herself by biting into a cyanide capsule after which he shot himself in the head.
Hitler, however, died in midafternoon, so it may well have been some other time. No matter. That Hitler was an evil a person as our species has produced is acknowledged. We are not pro-Hitler here at The Thought for the Day. Todays‘ Thought merely illustrates how Hitler had a complete sense of himself and what he was meant to do while he was on this planet. Unfortunately, that meant death and tragedy for millions of people.
I didn’t know how or when, but I have waited for this day…
We should all have a sense of ourselves, a sense of how we are supposed to spend our time on this planet. If we do, and we live the life we were meant to live, we might be surprised at how life works out.
My personal example, not for the first time, comes from sports officiating, something I did an awful lot of for many years and something I still engage in from time to time.
The story starts when I was a boy. I was in the habit of reading The Los Angeles Times with my dad in the morning and one day – May 16, 1981, to be exact – I open the sports page and something called Len Barker of the Cleveland Indians had pitched a perfect game, which is where the pitcher gets every batter out. Nobody gets on base. From then on perfect games had my complete interest and sometimes while officiaiting I wondered if, perhaps, I might umpire one one day.
Came close once, an out away, and the final inning are ten minutes or so of my life I will never forget. I waited, with no guarantee it would ever come, and there I was. I didn’t know how or when, but I always suspected I would get a crack at one.
Will you be there when your day comes? You can’t if you do not put yourself in a position to be there.
…tonight I am here.
One of our favorite themes here at The Thought for the Day is that all of were born were certain talents, that every one of us has something we can do well. The very best way to ensure we are there when our day comes is to get the most out of those talents, to live from the inside out, to live the life were meant to live.
Only when we do that will we be there when the day we’ve waited for arrives.
The Thought for the Day runs occasionally. Quotes are from Gaylon’s private stock and all commentary is original.
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The Thought for the Day – Frank Sinatra
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Talent must not be wasted. Those who have it…must share it. – Frank Sinatra, letter to Los Angeles Times, September 1990
Frank Sinatra needs no introduction. Today’s Thought comes from a Letter to the Editor he wrote to the Times after their Calendar section did a cover story on how recently-deceased George Michael, then a 27-yard-old pop star, was doing all he can to avoid the “…tragedy of fame“. The letter is pure Sinatra, and, among other things, takes Michael to task for wanting “to quit doing what tons of gifted youngsters would shoot grandma for“.
One of the earliest lessons I remember learning is that all of us can do something well. All we have to do is look inside us to find out what that is. You are reading this because writing is my talent and I am determined not to waste it. I write so you will remember it the rest of your life because, otherwise, what’s the point?
Talent must not be wasted.
What’s your talent and where will your talent take you? Will it allow you to raise happy, well-adjusted family? Will it take you a successful professional career? Will it lead to a satisfying avocation? Will your talent, combined with the requisite amount of work and luck – both good and bad – allow you to live down the ages like Frank Sinatra?
It’s of no particular consequence. There are billions of people on this planet and where your talent leads you is sometimes out of your hands because life is nothing more than a collection of billions of random experiences. But if you utilize the gifts you were born with, fortune will take you exactly where you are meant to go. All you have to do is let it.
Those who have it…must share it
We have obligation to ourselves and eveyrone else to get the most out of the talents we were issued. Only when we get the full measure out of our talents, only when we are making our time serve us instead of merely serving time on this planet, will we be of any use to ourselves or our fellow beings.
The Thought for the Day runs occasionally. Quotes are from Gaylon’s private stock and all commentary is original.
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