The Daily Dose/Saturday, December 14, 2019

The Daily Dose/December 14, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

USA! USA! The House Judiciary Committee voted Friday to send two articles of impeachment to the entire House. If, when, the entire House approves it, Donald Trump will stand trial in the United States Senate on charges of abuse of power and obstructing Congress. The vote was on straight party lines, hardly a bulletin because impeachment itself is a partisan process. 

Trump was his usual blather and blustering self, calling the articles an “embarrassment” to the nation. As usual, President Trump is unable to tell the truth because the articles aren’t the embarrassment, he’s the embarrassment: a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, whose only real talent is drawing as much attention to himself as possible. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Now, his presidency has not been a complete failure. The tax cut was nice and we are grateful he didn’t fire back when Iran shot down our drone. Had he, World War III might already be over. 

But, by and large, Trump has been as embarrassing a president as he was a candidate. 

Modest Historical Context: It should never have some to this. If America had a real media instead of a group of entertainers, Trump would have been washed out before the 2016 primaries. As it was, he meant clicks and ratings and was ushered straight to a White House we suspect he never wanted to occupy in the first place. His sole motivation, probably since the day he emerged from the womb, has always been to draw as much attention to himself as possible, something he does supremely well. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’re still hoping for a palace coup, that GOP senators will take advantage of the opportunity to rid us of Trump forever. It is almost beyond comprehension they genuinely believe he is doing our country any good and they must know, but seemingly don’t care, that there continued support of him is defending the indefensible. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow and The Wife get their special discount shopping in at the retailer. Today’s Diary. 

and, of course, we stocked up on razor blades for the year and just in the nick of time, too, because the last razor from last year’s load out will soon be in need of replacing…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1962 – The American spacecraft Mariner 2 becomes the first spacecraft to fly past another planet, coming within 18,776 nautical miles of Venus. Mariner 2 had been launched from Florida on August 27 and, among other things, measured the temperature of Venus’ atmosphere at 932 degrees Fahrenheit. The last transmission from Mariner 2 was received the following January and the spacecraft remains in orbit around the sun. It’s identical sister ship Mariner 1 had been launched in July and had also been scheduled to fly to Venus, but it was destroyed a few minutes after liftoff due to a guidance system failure. 

In 1986 – Dan Marino of the Miami Dolphins establishes a new NFL record with the eighth 400-yard passing game of his career in a 37-31 overtime win over the Los Angeles Rams. Marino was 29-of-46 for 403-yards with five touchdowns, including the game-winner in overtime. Marino broke the record that had been established by Dan Fouts in 1985 and Marino would retire after the 1999 season with 13 400-yard games. Marino’s record was broken in 2016 by Peyton Manning (14) and his now held by Drew Brees with 16. 

In 1957 – Sam Cooke is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor of the Hot 100 – for the first of two consecutive weeks with You Send Me. The flip side to the record, Summertime, was originally intended to be the A side, but it only peaked at #81. The song was also in its third of five weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the first of 28 Top 40 hits for Cooke and remains his only #1 song. Cooke died in 1963, shot to death at a Los Angeles motel under circumstances that never entirely explained. 

Quotebook
…like Lincoln, he was supremely confident…not the confidence of the weak, the arrogance of the vain and needy…the kind of confidence that allows him to be humble. – Evan Thomas, Ike’s Bluff

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Yesterday’s Trivia question was withdrawn. 

Today’s Stumper
How long is a nautical mile? – Answer next time!

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