The Daily Dose/Thursday, November 21, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 21, 2019
By Gaylon KentAmerica’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from our human experience…

Friends, we are making some technical adjustments to the site and Leading Off is being given a brief furlough.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody
: The gift baggies from the hospital are in and Sparrow discusses the included chapstick. 

Our holiday gift baggies from the local hospital were in the back office when I reported for duty…I found two things useful: the almond butter nutrition bar and the round ball of chapstick…Brandon was ooohing over the chapstick simply because it came in a ball instead of a tube, but I knew better…Except for a three-day period in my mid-20’s when I quit cold turkey, chapstick has been my constant companion for over 30 years and I have significant street cred in the matter: it’s all the same…Chapstick, Blistex, Burt’s Bees, Carmex you name it, I’ve tried it, progressively working my up the ladder…Now I use something labeled Lip Repair and while there are some differences your lips ultimately adapt and you’re still balming up every five minutes and the fancy blue ball stuff proved no different. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 13Everyone is chasing the Bengals in the race for the most coveted trophy in sports: The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.

Here are some funny lines from this week’s NFL Bottom Ten:

Bengals 27th NFL team to start season 0-10…

Redskins show mastery of fundamentals with 54-yards rushing, 66-penalty yards, for weekly best 1.222-to-1 Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards Ratio…

Strong finishing kick see Broncos overcome 20-0 halftime lead…

While nation blabs about merits of pass interference replay policy that doesn’t overturn plainly blown calls, Sunday B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” solution to problem is to have professional football officials call obvious pass interference calls in the first place.

Lions rounding into prime B-10 form, having lost six (6) of last seven (7) after rocky 2-0-1 start…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1953 – The Natural History Museum in London announces the skull known as the Piltdown Man, once believed to be the missing link between apes and humans, is a hoax. The finding of the skull was announced in 1912 by a British amateur archaeologist named Charles Dawson, who said the skull had been found at a site about 30 miles south of London. Dawson died in 1916 with neither this nor any other of his frauds revealed, though later testing showed the skull to have, among other things, the teeth of an orangutan and the cranium of a human. 

In 1996 – Bill Fitch of the Los Angeles Clippers becomes the first NBA coach to lose 1,000 games in 105-94 loss to the Dallas Mavericks. Fitch began his NBA coaching career in 1970 with the Cleveland Cavaliers, who lost their first 15 games for him and finished the season 15-67. Fitch coached the Boston Celtics to the 1981 NBA title and the Houston Rockets to the 1986 Western Conference championship and he retired in 1998 with 944 wins and 1,106 losses. The record for most losses by an NBA coach is now held by Lenny Wilkins, who lost 1,155 games in a 32-year career. 

In 1970 – The Partridge Family is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with I Think I Love You. The song featured David Cassidy on lead vocals and his step-mother Shirly Jones singing background. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Australia, peaked at #18 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year. It was the first of seven Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song. Cassidy also had six Top 40 hits on his own and while there were other members of the Partridge family on their TV show, Cassidy and Jones are the only members to play on the record. 

Quotebook
Zenas’ constancy to Werner wasn’t something the poets wrote sonnets about.
Len Deighton
Spy Hook

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Of the five known copies of the Gettysburg Address, one is in the Lincoln Room of the White House, two are in the Library of Congress, another is at the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum and Cornell University owns the other one.

Today’s Stumper
Of the five NBA coaches who have coached in at least 2,000 games, who has the highest and lowest winning percentage? – Answer next time!

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