The Daily Dose/Sunday March 8, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 8, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

1. Coronavirus  – It may be years before we know if we are either being prudent or overreacting, but Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters left wondering where the hell our leadership is???…Where’s someone of substance saying fear not, this virus may be previously unknown but there is no reason to panic. 

2. Coronavirus –  It may be years before we know if we are either being prudent or overreacting, but Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters left wondering where the hell our leadership is???…Where’s someone of substance saying holy crap, this is it, humanity gave it a nice run, but it’s all ending in three weeks???

3. Coronavirus – Though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” we’re overreacting, they’re dressing in some armor stolen from local Renaissance Faire just to be safe because everyone is out of hazmat suits…Coronavirus first new virus to earn multiple entries in Sunday Bottom 5 since AIDS in 1980s. 

4. 2020 Tokyo Olympics While Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters are internationally known for being lousy prognosticators, they are nonetheless preparing Bottom 5 headquarters to host team handball competition after Olympic events are moved to wherever the hell they can be safely held. 

5. President Trump Fact Check A staple in the 5 spot, click here for the latest falsehoods from America’s Misinformer-in-Chief. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

New for Sundays, today’s entry is offered with Sparrow’s compliments. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow, by request, brings the afternoon cookies out in the morning. Today’s Diary. 

Looking back, I should have told him they’d be out later but instead, I told him to hold on and went back for the cookie tray, which I’d already prepared, and he started loading up like he was the supply officer for a frigate…Christ, he took so many my blood sugar spiked just looking at his haul…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1655 – John Casor becomes the first person to become a slave in the United States as an award in a civil suit. Casor was fought over by two men who had previously owned Casor’s rights as an indentured servant, with the court giving Casor to one Anthony Johnson for the rest of Casor’s life. In one of History’s great ironies, Casor was awarded to a free black man. Casor was not the first slave in the United States, as perpetual slavery had previously been award as punishment in criminal cases. 

In 1971 – Heavyweight Champion of the World Joe Frazier defeats Muhammed Ali in a 15-round unanimous decision at Madison Square Garden. It was the first of three meetings between the two, with Ali winning the last two, in 1974 and 1975. Frazier would retain his title until he was beaten by George Foreman and it was the first professional loss for Ali, who had been stripped of his heavyweight title in 1967 for refusing induction into the US Army. Both fighters were guaranteed $2.5 million, about $15.8 million in today’s money. 

In 1980 – The Whispers are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Best Selling Soul Singles chart – for the second of five consecutive weeks with And The Beat Goes On. It was the first of two soul chart #1s for the group (Rock Steady, 1987) and the song also peaked at #19 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and at #2 in Great Britain. Formed in Watts in the 1960s, the Whispers sang the national anthem before Game 2 of the 1989 World Series in Oakland. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…man is a natural villain, and grasps whatever he can reach; only artificial morals and laws, and merciless education, turn him into a tolerable citizen. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Beatles had 34 Top 10 hits on the Billboard Hot 100.  

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was the #1 song in Great Britain when the Whispers were at #2 with And The Beat Goes On? – Answer next time!

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