The Daily Dose/Tuesday, November 5, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 5, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: It’s the slow season at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Tammy, like a lot of front desk clerks, doesn’t really like the slow season…There isn’t much to do and they really can’t go sit in the back office…I can, because it’s graveyard and no one’s around, but on day and swing shifts there you like to have someone actually out front..Tammy said she really wanted to insert sticks in her eyes she was so bored. 

“I spent $1,200 yesterday…”
A pause.
“The husband doesn’t know yet.”

I asked what she bought and she said a vacuum cleaner, some shoes and some other things…I forget what else, but the list wasn’t short and seemed typical of what a woman with idle time, Internet access and a credit card might buy. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 11And the beat(ings) go on in the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of NCAA Bottom Ten supremacy. 

Here are some funny lines from this week’s NCAA Bottom Ten: 

Zips still running ball like field markings produce electrical shocks, ranking Dead Last in Rushing Offense (52.3 ypg).

Cadets hampered by pregame Army Secretary ruling – to better prepare for future battles agains ISIS – requiring pregame meal of scorpions, MREs, resulting in lack of energy and nausea during game. 

Commodores still hampered by turn-of-century decision to merge Athletic, Student Affairs departments as basketball players – getting some cross-sport extra credit – negate touchdown run with illegal forward pass penalties by running fast break offense instead of draw play.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 2013 – The Indian space agency launches a spacecraft eventually headed to Mars. The craft, known as the Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) spent a month orbiting the earth and entered Marian orbit on Sept. 24, 2014. India joined the US, Russia and Europe as the only space agencies to reach Martian orbit and they remain the only ones to make it on their only attempt. MOM is expected to remain in Martian orbit until September 2020. 

In 1971 – The Los Angeles Lakers defeat the Baltimore Bullets 110-106. With the win the Lakers move to 7-3 on the season, snapping their two-game losing streak. The Lakers would not lose again until Jan. 9, a span of 33 games, a new NBA record and a mark which remains the longest winning streak in American major league sports. The Lakers finished the regular season 69-13, an NBA record for most wins in a season, a record now held by the 2015-16 Golden State Warriors, who went 73-9.

In 1966 – The Monkees are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with Last Train to Clarksville. It was the first of twelve Top 40 hits, six Top 10 hits and three #1s for the group. The song also went to #1 in Canada and was Billboard’s 6th biggest song of the year. Lead vocals were sung by drummer Mickey Dolenz.

Any society, if it is to flourish instead of merely survive, must strive to transcend its own limits.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The NBA record for most free throws made in a game without a miss is 24, by Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks in a playoff game in May 2011. The regular season record is 23 by Dominique Wilkins of Atlanta in December 1992. 

Today’s Stumper
The Monkees hold the Billboard album chart record for most #1 albums in a calendar year. How many albums in which year established this recordAnswer next time!


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