August 6
Oh, baby, we were humming in the hotel last night. From the get-go it was non-stop on the hotel front lines.
We were so busy my first 10-10 (ten-minute break) was delayed twice. The first time I actually had my hand on the handle of the door of the Employee Dining Room (EDR) when we went four-nine-nine (four-nine-nine is radio code for an emergency, invariably a medical emergency) because a girl on 32 was having trouble breathing.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, June 3
51 rooms tonite, the highest of Virus Era and because of the remodel and some rooms being OOO because of carpet cleaning we were almost at a 100% occupancy…And we have 17 arrivals for later today, too, another Virus Era high.
The Daily Dose/June 3, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return. It’s OK, nothing’s really going on right now, anyway.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow oversleeps. Today’s Diary.
I could have gotten up earlier, I suppose (see Sleep Log below), but I was determined to see how much sleep there was for me today, a quest that was neither arduous nor unrewarded.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: There’s lots of casino romance news today.
And recently I told Rhonda, a pit clerk supervisor, that I had the hots for an assistant casino shift manager named Maggie which, Rhonda being Rhonda, was the same as if I had actually gone up to Maggie and told her this myself. Rhonda is the clearinghouse for casino romance information. In fact, last month she had told me a certain woman had the hots for me, though I couldn’t be bothered to act on it.
Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1965 – Astronaut Ed White becomes the first American to walk in space. Gemini 4, commanded by James McDivitt, had taken off earlier in the day from Cape Kennedy and the spacewalk came on Gemini’s third orbit. White spent 20 minutes outside the spacecraft, a time limited, in part, by the fact Gemini would soon be entering darkness. White enjoyed his spacewalk enormously, took meaningless pictures to prolong it and said his reentry into the spacecraft was “the saddest moment of my life”. The crew returned to earth on June 7th, America’s first manned, multi-day space mission.
In 1995 – Pedro Martinez of the Montreal Expos becomes the second major league pitcher to take a perfect game into extra innings in a 1-0 win over the San Diego Padres. After the Expos had gotten a run in the top of the 10th, Martinez gives up a double to leadoff batter Bip Roberts, and he’s replaced by Mel Rojas, who gets the final three outs. The first pitcher to take a perfect game into extra innings was Harvey Haddix of the Pittsburgh Pirates who pitched twelve perfect innings in a 1-0, 13 inning loss to the Milwaukee Braves in 1959.
In 1989 – Michael Damian is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Rock On. The song spent 13 weeks in the Top 40, five weeks in the Top 10 and also went to #1 in Canada. It was the first of three Top 40 hits for Damian – who was also starring in the soap opera The Young and the Restless at the time – and remains his only #1 song. The song was written by David Essex, whose own version peaked at #5 on the Hot 100 in 1974.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
They buy ‘em and sell ‘em, and make trade of their heart’s blood, and groans and tears – and God let’s them. – Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The NBA’s all-time playoff leader in scoring average is Michael Jordan, who averaged 33.4 points per playoff game.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who was the first human to walk in space? – Answer next time!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, June 2
The only fly in the ointment concerning my new duty at the hotel of sending emails to the day’s arrivals is there doesn’t seem to be a readily apparent way to make and store a template…I’m pretty handy with stuff like this but I have yet to be able to figure it out and online help has been some zero useless in this matter, too.
August 4
There’s a swing shift opening up for bid and Houchins has announced he wants it, and since he’s senior to anyone else who wants it, he’ll get it. I happen to be a few days senior to Houchins, and I once told him I would bid on any swing shift opening just to screw him and keep him on graveyard, which he really doesn’t like, but I enjoy graveyard and don’t really want to go to swing shift, so I didn’t sign up despite the fact it would be fun to screw Houchins.
The Daily Dose/June 2, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
THE COUNTRY IS BURNING, BUT, SURE, LET’S ENJOY SOME DRY, TECHNICAL MATTER: We do a lot of research for this feature and, frankly, it is rare when we come across something that surprises us. We did yesterday, though.
Well, If Dry, Technical Matter Is Inevitable: The answer to our Trivia feature yesterday was How Do I Live by LeAnn Rimes. The question was what was the biggest country song on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018, where the song ranked 5th.
More Dry, Technical Matter: It is also the biggest song by a female solo act and – and this is what we found surprising – it was also the highest-ranking #2 song in the survey! We are not making that up: the fifth biggest hit of the Hot 100 era – by definition a humongous hit, one of the giants of pop music history – never hit #1. We re-read it a couple of times just to make sure and then looked it up just to make sure. It was true. Even the most casual reader of this crap knows we know our way around the Billboard charts and we found this astonishing.
Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: So we did even more research. The song, it turned out, spent 69 weeks on the Hot 100 and 32 weeks in the Top 10, both records that have since been surpassed. The song’s Top 10 run was particularly extraordinary. During that time it spent eleven non-consecutive weeks at #3 and four non-consecutive weeks in the runner-up spot. It was in the Hot 100 from 6/21/97 until 10/10/98, the Top 40 from 7/5/97 until 8/15/98 and then again for two more weeks starting on 8/29/98 and was in the Top 10 from 8/9/97 until 3/14/98.
Wow…Dry, Technical Matter: There are a variety of ways to rank songs. Our favorite way is by peak chart position. For example, all #1 songs are bigger than any #2 song. Ties are broken by most weeks at #1, then most weeks in the Top 10 and so on. Billboard’s way, more or less, is to give points for each chart position.
Incoming!…Dry Technical Matter: An exception to both of these rules was the #1 song on the 60th Anniversary Hot 100, The Twist by Chubby Checker, which only spent three weeks at #1 and 39 total weeks in the Hot 100 but it went to #1 in separate chart runs – the only song on the Hot 100 ever to do so – an accomplishment that deserves the #1 spot.
FunFact: How Do I Live peaked at #43 on Billboard’s country chart, though a version by Trish Yearwood went #1 on the country chart.
The Bottom Line: We enjoy the research we do here because we find it fun to find out things we don’t know and it’s items like this that keep you going. We know you find crap like this as thrilling as we do. God bless all of you.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: According to the thermometer at the hotel, Sparrow should be dead. Today’s Diary.
…it was below normal, almost four degrees below normal and some later research showed this is lower than the medically accepted definition of hypothermia, which is bad…Now, I scoped out the symptoms of hypothermia and they included shivering and slurred speech and I wasn’t doing either of those things, and I wasn’t exhibiting the other symptoms, either…I’m feeling strong, so I’m thinking the thermometer is completely whack…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon has a funny line in briefing, though he was the only one who thought it was funny.
Nothing. It was as if I had read the weather forecast. Well, a couple of people chuckled, but that was it. Their loss, too, because it was one hell of a line if you ask me. I was so pleased with my line I repeated it, and, even tried to explain it for the benefit of those sitting next to me. My analysis did, to quote a pretty girl I know, some zero good.
Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1692 – Bridget Bishop becomes the first woman to be tried for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts. (Previous witch procedures were appearances before a magistrate, not a formal trial.) Bishop had been arrested in April after charges had been levied by several women and some testimony along with her showy dress and disregard for established social norms was more than enough to earn her a conviction in puritan New England and she was hanged eight days later. Between February 1692 and May 1693 over 200 people were accused of witchcraft, 30 were convicted and 19 were executed.
In 1985 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of the Los Angeles Lakers establishes a new NBA playoff record for most career points in a 136-111 win over the Boston Celtics in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. Abdul-Jabbar had 26 points, giving him a career total of 4,464 playoff points, breaking the record of 4,457 established by Jerry West. Abdul-Jabbar would retire after the 1989 season with 5,762 career playoff points and the record is now held by LeBron James (6,911). The Lakers won the series in six games.
In 1982 – McFadden and Whitehead are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the only week with Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now. The song also peaked at #13 on the Billboard Hot 100 and at #5 in Great Britain, was their first of two soul chart singles and remains their only Top 40 pop hit. The song was written in part by Gene McFadden and John Whitehead and their record company originally wanted to give the song to the O’Jays.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Would he spend the rest of his life here…watching hope slip away along with the years, until there was nothing left to live for and time had finally run out? – Alex Haley, Roots: The Story of an American Family
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The highest-ranking country song on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 was How Do I Live by LeAnn Rimes, which came in at #5. It was the biggest song in the survey that did not hit #1, having peaked at #2.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who has the highest playoff scoring average in NBA history? – Answer next time!
July 31
Got off a funny line in briefing last night. At least I thought it was funny. It seemed to go over the heads of most the ding-dongs and misfits that comprise the MCSD graveyard crew.
88TonyB had passed out company-provided orange wristbands, similar to the yellow Lance Armstrong ones, although these have ‘Keep It Fun’ etched on them. It’s part of Responsible Gaming Week, and we were also treated to a letter containing the standard corporate BS about how great responsible gaming is even though if everyone practiced responsible gaming Vegas would be a ghost town, because, honestly, the only responsible gaming is keeping your money in your pocket.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Monday, June 1
I strongly suspect the thermometer that’s shaped like a small pistol isn’t properly calibrated…Recall yesterday I took my temperature twice and it was a degree or so less than 98.6 both times and tonight I took it twice and it was 94.8 when I clocked in and 97.3 when I clocked out.
The Daily Dose/June 1, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
VIVA LAS VEGAS: Starting today we are making our hilarious memoir Backstairs at the Monte Carlo available in daily post format, just like The Diary of a Nobody. Some of you have already enjoyed the ebook here at the site and it is almost interesting to note your ebook purchase will entitle you to read the daily entries. Those who have Forever & Ever Access will, too.
Dry, Technical Matter: Backstairs at the Monte Carlo is a diary/memoir of my time working security at what was then the Monte Carlo on the Las Vegas Strip and covers about 15 months, starting in July 2004 and continuing up until I was promoted to supervisor. Everyone is identified by either their first or last name or a nickname and everything happened. There are no composite characters or made-up elements and while there have been some minor formatting changes, everything runs as it appears in the ebook. It was the first job I’d had in several years, having spent the previous time sports officiating. It was a lot of fun and I know you will enjoy reading about it.
Dry, Technical Matter: Stealing a trick from the drug dealers, the first week of entries are on the house. After this gets you addicted, $5.99 will get you access to both Backstairs at the Monte Carlo AND The Diary of a Nobody, an incredible offer, don’t bother to deny it.
The Bottom Line: So go, scoot and clock-in with the misfits on the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department. You’ll enjoy it as much as we did.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Editor’s Note: Read Free Week begins, with both The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir on the house this week. Enjoy.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow takes his temperature at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
I looked at it for a second, turned it over and then came up with the bright idea of putting it to my cheek and pressing the button where a trigger would normally be and a couple of seconds later there was another beep and the display in the read 97.2 and I gathered that was my temperature and duly logged it in the appropriate place.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon and his trainee X-Ray break up a bachelorette hot tub party.
The pretty brunette asks if they were making too much noise and I purse my lips and nod solemnly to signify the heinous nature of their crime; X-Ray stands by pretending to look stern, which he’s pretty good at.
“Are these the strippers?!” a girl in the hot tub asks.
Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1962 – Adolf Eichmann, the Nazi mainly responsible for organizing German concentration camps during World War II, is executed by hanging in Israel. Eichmann had been convicted in Israeli court the previous December on 15 counts of war crimes and his appeal – which focused mainly on Israeli jurisdiction and the laws he was charged under – was denied, as was clemency. Eichmann had been captured in Argentina by Israeli agents in May 1960, after his son began bragging about his dad’s Nazi exploits to a girl he was dating. Eichmann was cremated, his ashes scattered in international waters in the Mediterranian Sea.
In 2009 – The New York Yankees establish a new major record for most consecutive errorless games in a season in a 5-2 win over the Cleveland Indians. It was the 18th consecutive errorless game for New York, breaking the record of 17 established by the 2006 Boston Red Sox and the streak ended the following night on a throwing error by catcher Jorge Posada. The Yankees went `14-4 during the streak and the record still stands.
In 1959 – Johnny Horton is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of six consecutive weeks with The Battle of New Orleans. It was Horton’s first of three Top 40 hits and remains his only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Australia and was also in its third of ten consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart. The Battle of New Orleans was Billboard’s biggest song of the year, it’s second biggest of the decade (the Hot 100 first appeared in 1958) and ranked 37th on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018, the second-biggest country song in the survey.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…the cards don’t play themselves. – Deng Ming-Dao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The first act with two forms of punctuation in their name to hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 was ? & the Mysterians, who hit the top with 96 Tears in 1968.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was the highest-ranking country song on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100? – Answer next time!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, May 31
I actually had to work tonight, the first real front desk shift I’ve put in in two months.
When I reported for duty Assistant Front Desk Manager Devani said the guest TVs were out and right after that a rather serious guy comes to the front desk saying he wished he would’ve been told the TV was out when Devani had rented him the room…Devani would later say he and his wife were part of a biker group who’d come in about an hour earlier and there were, in fact, three motorcycles parked out front in bold, manly colors like yellow, green and burgundy…By chance, I later talked with his wife on the phone and she was persnickety, too, and I left with the impression that if I were stuck in a hotel with either of them I’d want the option of television diversion, too.
