Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, May 22
The heater is back on here at The Shire…It’s been below freezing or so the past couple of nights and when you’re up at oh-dark-thirty (see Sleep Log below) it’s can be chilly inside, so I turned it back on…Heaven forbid either yours truly or the cat feel any discomfort at any time.
The Daily Dose/May 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: It is, of course, reasonable to expect the Virus Era will change many things, probably permanently, perhaps for the better.
Dry, Technical Matter: Among the possible changes, one could involve major league baseball (MLB), which is currently farting around with various plans for starting their season and it is likely the season will feature, exclusively, regional play. Since the National and American leagues do not play under the same rules, it is entirely possible the National League will adopt the designated hitter (DH) rule for the year.
Dry, Technical Matter: The DH allows a player to bat for the pitcher and is utilized in various forms in virtually every amateur and professional league on the planet. The American League adopted it in 1973 but the National League, probably because they didn’t do it first, has always resisted. Self-proclaimed purists decry the DH because it does take some strategy out of the game, but if strategy causes you to achieve and maintain a state of arousal, go play chess.
The Bottom Line: Let me tell you something, if the Virus Era results in the National League permanently adopting the DH, then this entire fiasco will have been worth it. Economic catastrophe, over 300,00 worldwide deaths, everything, will have been a small price to pay for the National League finally coming, kicking and screaming, into the 20th-century. Honestly, we’ve always felt they should have adopted ten minutes after the American League.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow makes chorizo burgers with mixed results. Today’s Diary.
On the plus side, it tasted good, especially with the amount of cheese a growing boy like me demands…Plus mayonnaise…On the downside, it didn’t hold together particularly well, falling somewhat apart on the griddle…Plus, there was grease splatter all over the place, too…Original plans were to BBQ but in deference to the robins nesting right outside the kitchen door but I didn’t because I didn’t want to bother them…Mama robin is firmly placed right now and it is probably best not to incur her wrath.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1804 – The Lewis and Clark Expedition, officially the US Army Corps of Discovery, begins, setting off from St Charles, Missouri, a bit northwest of St Louis. The expedition consisted of approximately 45 people – accounts vary – mostly US Army personnel, but some civilians as well. They would make the Pacific Ocean in November 1805 and return to St Louis in September 1806. In two years the Corps suffered only one death, a sergeant who died in August 1804, probably of appendicitis.
In 1977 – American Janet Guthrie becomes the first woman to earn a spot in the Indianapolis 500 with a four-lap average speed of 188.403 mph. Guthrie’s speed was good enough for a ninth row start and she left the race after 27 laps due to a timing gear malfunction. The race was won by A.J. Foyt. Guthrie would race at Indianapolis the following two years, finishing ninth in 1978 and not finishing in 1979. Earlier in 1977, Guthrie was the first woman to race in the Daytona 500.
In 1965 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Ticket to Ride. It was the 22nd Top 40 hit for the Beatles, their 13th Top 10 hit, their eighth #1 and is one of five #1 songs by the group that only spent one week at the top in the US. The song also went to #1 in six other countries including Norway and Great Britain. A version by the Carpenters peaked at #54 in 1969.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
But then, wherever one goes on this earth, all things are spoiled by men. – Gore Vidal, Creation
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Montreal Canadiens have lost nine times in the Stanley Cup Finals.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was Janet Guthrie’s profession before turning to auto racing? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/May 21, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: One thing we’ve thought from time to time during the Virus Era is where the hell is Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee? Every now and then we’ll see an ad from him on Facebook, and he appears to have given an online commencement address Wednesday, but otherwise it’s as if he’s in the witness protection program.
Brave New World: This is too bad, our loss, really, because it’s the third decade of the 21st century and there is no reason for Biden to not be commanding an audience on a daily basis, engaging the battle against a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, who lies constantly and whose only real talent – and interest for that matter – is drawing attention to himself.
Dry, Technical Matter: Heck, there would have been a time when Trump would not have been elected in the first place. There was a time when a real American press, doing its duty, would have had a blathering billionaire out of the GOP presidential race within a few days after announcing, but those days are long gone. The media escorted Candidate Trump straight to the primaries and then the White House because he meant clicks and ratings, competence and substance be damned. We are now reaping the harvest of President Trump: America remains irrelevant, halfway between influence and oblivion.
The Bottom Line: Look, few appreciate, demand, courtesy and decorum as much your friends here at The Daily Dose. But this is no time to be measured. Unprecedented times call for unprecedented actions and this is not the time for the presumptive Democratic Party presidential nominee to be laying low. He should be rallying the troops every day, standing up to a lying bully and calling an orange an orange.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has computer problems at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
The big news at the hotel is the computer at the right front desk station wasn’t working…I am not making that up…It’s the station I usually use on the rare occasions when I’m actually at the front desk and I handled this quagmire in usual Sparrow fashion by staring at it crossly with my hands on my hips…After this produced nothing resembling a solution, I came back strong, showing the sort of leadership you’d expect out of a Legion district commander: I immediately retired to the back office and printed the emergency reports and did the usual start-of-shift stuff there.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 2017 – The Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus conducts its final performance at the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, New York. The circus had started in 1919 with the merger of Ringling Brothers World’s Greatest Show and Barnum and Bailey’s Greatest Show on Earth and the enterprise traces its roots back to P.T. Barnum’s Great Traveling Museum, Menagerie, Caravan, and Hippodrome, which began in 1871. The circus had stopped using their own big top tents in 1957.
In 1979 – The Montreal Canadiens win their fourth consecutive Stanley Cup, defeating the New York Rangers 4-1 in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. It was the second time the Canadiens had won at least four consecutive Stanley Cups (1956-60) and they remain the only team to do so. It was the 22nd Stanley Cup title for Montreal and to date they have won 24, the most in the NHL. Their last title came in 1993 and they remain the last Canadian team to win the Cup.
In 1978 – Wings is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with With a Little Luck. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #5 in Great Britain. With a Little Luck had debuted on the Top 40 six weeks earlier and was in its fifth of eight weeks in the Top 10. It was the seventh of eight #1 songs for Wings and was the 27th #1 song for Paul McCartney, counting his time with the Beatles.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
He is half done who has already begun. – Horace (65 BC-8 BC), Roman poet,
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The major league record for most errors in a game by a pitcher is held by Ed Doheny of the New York Giants, who had five errors on August 15, 1899.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many Stanley Cup Finals have the Montreal Canadiens lost? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/May 20, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow notices a couple of kids loitering on a street corner during his walk. Today’s Diary.
There were a couple of kids hanging out a corner downtown when I passed by and they were still there when I came back. They were more or less loitering, standing there and smoking cigarettes…They were both tall and lanky, probably in their early 20s…They were still there when I was heading back to The Shire and they waved at me both times…I don’t know if they were being nice or if they were scoping me out preparatory to mugging me.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1983 – The existence of HIV is first published in the journal Science. The article was written by Luc Montagnier of France who, working with others at the Pasteur Institute in Paris, discovered the virus in a lymph node biopsy of a man who had AIDS, then known as gay-related immune deficiency (GRID). Montagnier later co-founded the World Foundation for AIDS Research and Prevention and was awarded, along with Françoise Barré-Sinoussi, the 2008 Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine, an award shared with Harald zur Hausen, who had discovered an exciting new cause of cervical cancer.
In 1946 – Pitcher Claude Passeau of the Chicago Cubs plays his 145th and final consecutive errorless game in a 6-4 win over the Boston Braves. During the streak Passeau accepted a major league record 273 consecutive errorless chances, a record for pitchers that still stands. Passeau would make an error on his first play in his next game, his first error since 1941. Passeau’s record still stands and research into whose record he broke was inconclusive.
In 1967 – Aretha Franklin is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B chart – for the first of eight consecutive weeks with Respect. In June the song would spend two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and also peaked at #10 in Great Britain and remains her biggest soul and pop hit. It was the second of a soul chart record 20 #1 songs for Franklin, a record she shares with Stevie Wonder, and the first of two pop chart #1 songs. The song was written by Otis Redding whose 1965 version peaked at #4 on the soul chart and #35 on the Hot `100.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. – John Marshall, Chief Justice of the United States, 1801-1835
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Dale Long hit home runs at Forbes Field in Pittsburgh and Connie Mack Stadium in Philadelphia during the 1956 streak where he hit home runs in eight consecutive games.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who holds the major league record for most errors in a game by a pitcher? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/May 19, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
WARNING! DRY, TECHNICAL MATTER COMING UP: One of the items in yesterday’s popular On This Date segment concerned the liftoff of Apollo 10, a dress rehearsal for Apollo 11’s first lunar landing two months later. The mission did everything but land on the moon, with astronauts Tom Stafford and Gene Cernan even flying the lunar module (LM) to within eight miles or so of the lunar surface.
Dry, Technical Matter: Long-time readers of ours know our interest in the space program and one thing we’ve long wondered about is whether Stafford and Cernan had been tempted to land on the moon.
Dry, Technical Matter: After all, they had a LM ready in all respects to do so. Sure, they might have lacked the lunar landing simulator time that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were enjoying, they were otherwise competent United States astronauts and no doubt were still in possession of the test pilot’s urge to go, just for funsies, knock on the unknown’s door to see what was there.
Dry, Technical Matter: Well, during our research for yesterday’s On This Date item, we came across the reason why they did not. Seems NASA knew who they were sending into space and took an appropriate precaution: the ascent module of the LM – what would lift them off from the moon – did not have enough fuel to get back to the command module. Stafford and Cernan could have landed, but they could not have returned.
Dry, Technical Matter: For his part, Cernan suspected this might have been done on purpose:
A lot of people thought about the kind of people we were: ‘Don’t give those guys an opportunity to land, ‘cause they might!’”
Dry, Technical Matter: Cernan later commanded Apollo 17 and remains the last human to set foot on the moon.
Dry, Technical Matter: This is, somewhat, reminiscent of a precaution taken for Apollo 11, namely President Nixon having a speech ready in case Armstrong and Aldrin had been stranded on the moon. Fortunately, and even though there have been deaths in the space program, we’ve been spared having someone stranded on the moon.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow balances his checkbook. Today’s Diary.
The bank book balanced very easily today, tho that is hardly a bulletin because there hadn’t been a whole lot of transactions since Saturday when I had to do everything but call in Treasury Department auditors to get it balanced…There was a recurring charge and a couple of other charges, but some subtraction yielded a reconciled register app and bank statement in short order.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1649 – The English Parliament declares England a republic. The move followed the English Civil War and the execution of Charles I on January 30. England would remain a republic (defined a country that is not a monarchy) until 1660, when Charles II, son of Charles I, became king. This period is known to History as The Interregnum.
In 1956 – Dale Long of the Pittsburgh Pirates hits a home run in a 7-4 victory over the Chicago Cubs. It was the first of a major league record eight consecutive games Long would homer in, a streak that has matched twice (Don Mattingly, 1987; Ken Griffey, Jr, 1993) but otherwise still stands. Long would bat .555 with eight home runs 19 RBIs during the streak. Long broke the record of six straight, which had been done on several occasions.
In 1973 – Stevie Wonder is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with You Are The Sunshine of My Life. The song was in its fourth of seven weeks in the Top 10 and spent a total of 13 weeks in the Top 40 and 17 weeks on the chart. It was the third of nine #1 songs on the Hot 100 for Wonder and the song also peaked at #7 in Great Britain and at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart. The first four lines of the song are sung by Jim Gilstrap and Lani Groves, who also provide background vocals on the record.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits targets no one else can see. – Arthur Schopenhauer
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
From the first Billboard country chart in 1944 through the chart dated May 16, 2020, eight #1 songs have had the word “country” in the title. The most recent was God’s Country by Blake Shelton in 2019.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
During his streak, how many stadiums did Dale Long hit home runs in? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/May 18, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading off is self-isolating today. It will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest gas mileage figures. Today’s Diary.
I suppose it was inevitable the MPG figures for the new ride would eventually drop…I mean, you can’t keep getting increased gas mileage forever and ever because in time you’d be getting 100 MPG and that’s just plain whack…Still tho, circumstantially, a drop of over .5 MPG is bad for morale tho intrinsically 36.590 is still exemplary gas mileage.
Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1969 – Apollo 10 lifts off from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The mission did everything but land on the moon, with Gene Cernan and Thomas Stafford flying the lunar module to within 8.4 miles of the lunar surface. A complete success, Apollo 10 set the stage for the first lunar landing by Apollo 11 two months later. On the way home, Apollo 10 set a record for the fastest speed achieved by humans, reaching 24,791 mph, a record that still stands. Also, due to variations in the distance between the earth and the moon, the mission remains the farthest humans have flown from the earth at 220,820 miles.
In 1897 -Bill Joyce of the New York Giants becomes the only National League player to hit four triples in a game in an 11-5 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates. Joyce tied the major league record that had been established on June 25, 1885 by Geroge Strief of the Philadelphia Athletics of the then-major American Association and both records still stand. Joyce played eight years in the big leagues and his career on-base percentage of .435 remains the seventh highest in major league history.
In 1974 – Cal Smith is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with Country Bumpkin. The song spent 15 weeks on the country chart, including ten weeks in the Top 40 and five weeks in the Top 10. It was the second of three #1 country songs for Smith (The Lord Knows I’m Drinking, one week, 1973; It’s Time to Pay the Fiddler, one week, 1975) in a chart career that spanned from 1966-87.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
His assets reliably compounding, his philosophy rendering him deaf to the appeals of humanity, he plowed through any contradiction. – Henry Wieneck, Master of the Mountain: Thomas Jefferson and His Slaves
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Love Will Save The Day was the song that broke Whitney Houston’s Hot 100-record of seven consecutive #1 songs. It peaked at #9 in 1988.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many #1 songs on Billboard’s country chart have had the word country in the title? – Answer next time!
