The Daily Dose/April 9, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

THIS JUST IN: World Health Day was Tuesday. We couldn’t be bothered to write about then, of course, probably because we were too busy being healthy, but it certainly had good timing, coming as it did in the middle of the coronavirus/COVID-19 troubles. 

Broad, Historical Context: As She’s done from time to time over the millennia, Mother Nature – either through a conscious effort at population control or merely through circumstance – has issued humanity another illness. In centuries past, all we could do was sit and take it, but the planet’s mobilized in a manner unprecedented in human history. 

Fly In The Ointment: Our battle is showing mixed results. Some countries have handled this well and some haven’t. Taiwan, right next door to China, has few cases. America, which knew about this at the highest level months ago, ignored it and was left ill-prepared and scrambling when it did decide to do something. We now have the most cases and deaths of any country in the world – perhaps not a bulletin because of our size, but significantly more than we would have had had we been on the ball and capable. 

Running The Numbers: The figures can say what you want them to. One the one hand, the 88,965 deaths represent a mere .0000115% of the world’s population. On the other hand, the death rate amongst closed cases is 21%, a staggering figure that was at 5.7% a month ago. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Us humans, of course, have been dying needless deaths since time immemorial and soon enough the number of 2020 COVID-19 deaths will exceed the number of deaths from our planet’s biggest wars in 2019 (105,000, give or take). 

The Bottom Line: So take this seriously and do what you can for yourself. Take a walk. Stay away from others. Wash your hands every five minutes. We even found ourselves wearing a mask on a recent shopping trip. It was given to us by someone we know and while I thought it was a bit of overkill, we were mindful that the person who issued it cared about us and our town. So care for others, too. Realize that if you’re reading this you still have a device and Internet access which is more than some others might have right now. Not everyone may be as fortunate as us. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has been the county veterans service officer for a year now. Today’s Diary.  

Today is my one-year anniversary here at the Veterans Service Office (VSO) and I am pleased to report that I have leveled up significantly, having gone from knowing squat about the job to knowing very little, all of it acquired on my own, too, because recall there was no training…

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On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1865 – Confederate General Robert E Lee surrenders his Army of Northern Virginia to Union Army Commanding General Ulysses S Grant at Appomattox Court House in Virginia.  The surrender happened in the afternoon and followed a brief morning battle that resulted in a decisive Union victory. This surrender spurred others throughout the Confederacy, though the war did not officially end until the CSS Shenandoah surrendered in, of all places, Liverpool, England on Nov. 6. The crew was absolved of any war crimes by the British and were later released. 

In 1958 – Bob Pettit of the St Louis Hawks establishes a new NBA Finals record for most free throws made in a game in 102-100 win over the Boston Celtics in Game 5. Pettit made 19 free throws and broke the record of 17 his teammate Cliff Hagan had established in Game 2 and the record is now held by Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat, who made 21 free throws in Game 5 of the 2006 Finals against the Dallas Mavericks. The Hawks would win the series in six games. 

In 1977 – ABBA is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Dancing Queen. It was the group’s seventh Top 40 hit in the US and their first of four Top 10 hits and Dancing Queen remains their only #1 song in America. The song went to #1 in 16 other countries, including ABBA’s native Sweden – where it spent 14 weeks at the top – the Soviet Union and Great Britain and was Billboard’s twelfth biggest song of the year. The song spent 15 weeks in the Top 40 and, rare for a #1 song, actually stalled at #66 for two weeks before resuming its ascent up the chart. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

All teachings are mere references. The true experience is living your own life.  – Deng Ming-Dao, 365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Patrick Marleau, currently with the Pittsburgh Penguins, holds the record for most years in the playoffs without winning the Stanley Cup with 19. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

In what city did the St Louis Hawks start? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/April 8, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets a good day’s rest. Today’s Diary.   

9.0 hours for the day and 20.5 hours for the week, not the highest Tuesday total in human history, but still pretty good…Recall I had gotten seven hours Monday, waking up right before heading into the hotel, so I wasn’t all that tired but a shot of Zzzz-Sleep did its work splendidly…I only woke up once to use the can and I did wake up at 1730, but rolled over and was man enuff to reach down for another hour.

Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1913 – The 17th Amendment to the United States Constitution, requiring direct election of US Senators takes effect after being ratified by Connecticut. It had been sent to the several states by Congress the previous year and was ultimately ratified by 41 states. Utah rejected the amendment while six other states declined to take action on it. Previously, senators had been elected by state legislatures. 

In 1980 – Gordie Howe of the Hartford Whalers establishes a new NHL record for appearing the playoffs the most years in a 6-1 loss to the Montreal Canadiens in Game 1 of their opening-round matchup. It is Howe’s 20th season appearing in the playoffs, breaking the record he shared with former Detroit Red Wings teammate Red Kelly. The record was tied several times before being broken by Ray Borque (21 seasons) and is now held by Chris Chellios (24 seasons). The Canadiens would win the series in three games. 

In 1950 – Red Foley is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Selling Retail Folk (Country & Western) Records chart – one of several predecessors to today’s country chart – for the tenth of twelve consecutive weeks with Chattanoogie Shoe Shine Boy. It was the fifth of ten country chart #1s for Foley and earlier, the song had spent four weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores pop chart, Foley’s only #1 pop hit. It was one four charted versions of the song in 1950, with Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Bill Darnell also charting with it. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The best excuses are no excuses. – Judith Martin, Miss Manners

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The second #1 song from the Footloose soundtrack was Let’s Hear It for the Boy by Deniece Williams, also in 1984. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What NHL player has appeared in the playoffs the most years without winning the Stanley Cup? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/April 7, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN: Elizabeth II of Great Britain addressed her subjects this week, doing what she has done many times over the decades, urging calm and perseverance during difficult times. 

Yes, Quite: And while we would not have presented violent objection to the occasional smile, we enjoyed her chat very much, even though no one in our family has been a British subject since our 6x great-grandfather Absalom Kent fled the country with his family in the 1750s. 

Quote That Sucker: We particularly enjoyed this: 

The attributes of self-discipline, of quiet good-humored resolve and of fellow-feeling still characterize this country. 

Blimey!: Self-discipline and quiet, good-humored resolve? How quaint. It might have gotten you blokes through War II, but those are traits that have by and large left the Colonies. Paced by our government, America is a partisan, fractured and bickering mess now. Or maybe us citizens are pacing our government. It’s hard to tell sometimes. 

Oh, Bloody Hell: We actually found ourselves a bit envious and I could see why the British people continue to keep a monarch on staff: some stability and reassurance has no small amount of value in times like these. 

Oh, Pish: Which got me to thinking where’s our reassuring leader during all this? The answer, of course, is we don’t have one: there is no one in American life right now with the credentials and willingness to step up and let us know everything will eventually be all right. 

Fly In The Ointment: Our president certainly can’t do that. He’s a lying sexual predator who thinks the moon is part of Mars, a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself. As far as civil officials go, a middle school hall monitor could be getting us through this better than President Trump. 

And That’s The Way It Is: Walter Cronkite would have been ideal here but he’s long dead and no one has assumed the mantle of being able to tell us what we collectively, deep down, need and want to hear. News outlets today can’t be bothered to muster up a reassuring anchor because they are too busy entertaining us to be reassuring. 

The Bottom Line/Gaylon For US Senate, Vote Early, Vote Often: So we’re in this for ourselves, friends, which is too bad because as we saw during the Great Toilet Paper Hoard of 2020, individually we will all do what’s in our own self-interest, which is the way it’s been since time immemorial and will continue to be until we decide, at the ballot box, that we deserve better. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest on Afternoon Cookie Service at the hotel. Today’s Diary.   

Things are so slow I am not even putting out new cookies for Afternoon Cookie Service because only a few are being taken each day now and, as noted earlier, there is no point in opening fresh packages…Well, a relatively fresh package that is because, as we’ve noted, these cookies were probably baked months ago and it would take forever and a day for these things to go stale.

Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

Great Moments In Toleration: Otto and Elise Hampel are beheaded for treason at a prison in Nazi Germany on this date in 1943. The husband and wife had been spreading postcards around Berlin urging Germans to resist Adolf Hitler, a resistance that began after Elise’s brother had been killed in France. The couple had been arrested, apparently by chance though History is not entirely clear on the matter, the previous October.
Editor’s Note: this actually happened on April 8. We regret – and, frankly, are surprised by – the error. 

Fore!: Jack Nicklaus becomes the youngest person to win the Masters on this date in 1963. Nicklaus, 23, finished two-under-par and defeated Tony Lema by one stroke with Julius Boros and Sam Snead tied for third two strokes back. Nicklaus earned $20,000 for his win, about $169,000 in today’s money. Tiger Woods is now the youngest to win the Masters, having won in 1997 when he was 21. It was the final Masters for Horton Smith, who had won the first Masters in 1934. 

Your Hit Parade: On this date in 1984 Kenny Loggins is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Footloose. It was the eighth of 14 Top 40 hits for Loggins and remains his only #1 song. Footloose went to #1 in four other countries, including New Zealand and South Africa, peaked at #6 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 2011 when Blake Shelton took it to #63. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…when history starts to move underneath you, you’d better figure out how you’re going to ride it, or you’ll fall off. – Gore Vidal, Empire

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

14 servicemen have been awarded the Medal of Honor twice for separate events. Five others were awarded both the Army and the Navy Medals of Honor for the same action. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Footloose was the first of two #1 songs on the Hot 100 from the Footloose movie soundtrack. What was the other one? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/April 6, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: The Path Between the Seas, The Creation of the Panama Canal, 1870-1914 by David McCullough: As we’ve noted here before, one of the pleasures of reading is rereading old favorites. As we discovered with this book, one of the pleasures of aging is not recognizing books we’ve already read. 

We Are Not Making This Up: We found what turned out to be our second copy of this book at a library sale. We’re fair-sized McCullough fans here and while we seemed to recall having read a Panama Canal book in the past, we did not recall this one specifically. It was only when we were farting around a bookcase that we found the original copy, with some dog eared pages showing that we’d read it before. 

Well, That Was A Nice Waste Of Two Paragraphs: The story of how the US came to build the Panama Canal is a story of government at its worst and at its best. Panama used to be a province of Colombia, but the Colombians annoyed President Theodore Roosevelt so the US decided to make Panama an independent country. On the credit side of the ledger, despite the enormity and complexity of the project, it came in ahead of schedule and under budget and, get this, every aspect of the canal worked perfectly from the get-go. 

Few do their work as well as McCullough and as with his book 1776, you get the feeling you are right there, shaking off mosquitos and dodging mudslides with the original French workers and sharing in the triumphs and intrigues – and more mudslides – of the American efforts. 

Final Rating: A: We don’t throw out the top rating too often here, but there are an awful lot of elements to this story – political, financial, engineering, personal – all complicated and McCullough, as usual, steers you through them in his usual expert but very readable manner. Both scholars and general readers will find this book well worth their time. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Read Free Fortnight continues.
The Diary of a Nobody: The Sparrow Spring Collection (SSC) makes its seasonal debut.  

It’s starting to warm up and summer pants made their debut tonight and I rolled with the green carpenter pants because they were at the top of the stack in the drawer…(There’s also a pair of jeans and two pairs of khaki work pants.)…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1865 – The final major battle of the American Civil War is fought when Union troops under the command of Lt. Gen. Ulysses S Grant defeat Confederate troops led by General Robert E Lee. The battle was fought near Farmville, Virginia and is referred to by History as the Battle of Sailor’s Creek. During the battle, Union Army Captain Tom Custer earned the Medal of Honor for heroism, his second Medal of Honor in four days. Lee would surrender to Grant three days later at Appomattox Courthouse. 

In 1896 – The first Olympic Games since the first century AD open in Athens, with 14 nations sending 241 athletes, all of whom were men. The United States won the most gold medals (14), while the Greeks won the most overall medals (45). All nine sports contested at the Games are still held, although tennis was not a medal sport between 1928 and 1984. The Olympics would not return to Athens until the 2004 Summer Games. 

In 1963 – The Chiffons are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of four consecutive weeks with He’s So Fine. It was the first of five Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song. The song peaked at #16 in Great Britain, was also at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart for the first of four consecutive weeks and was Billboard’s fifth-biggest song of the year.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The difference between the possible and the impossible lies in the person’s determination. – Tommy Lasorda

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The United States Congress first overrode a presidential veto in 1845 after President John Tyler vetoed a bill that would have prevented from authorizing presidents to build Revenue Marine Service ships without Congressional approval. The Revenue Marine Service is now the Coast Guard. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many Americans have won two Medals of Honor for separate actions? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/April 5, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

The Sunday Bottom 5 will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Read Free Fortnight Rolls On!
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest MPG figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary.  

…the new ride continues to get first-class gas mileage…I filled up at the convenience store in town preparatory to heading to the next county and I’ll be honest, I knew…Anytime the trip odometer is over 400 miles you know you’re getting top mileage…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1792 – President of the United States George Washington vetoes a bill that had been approved by Congress, the first time this power was used in the United States. The bill concerned how members of the House of Representatives would be apportioned and Washington vetoed it because he found elements unconstitutional, and Congress revised the bill and re-submitted it later in the year. 

In 1915 – Jess Willard wins the heavyweight championship of the world knocking out Jack Johnson in the 26th round at a racetrack in Havana. Willard would keep the title until losing to Jack Dempsey in 1919 in Toledo. Known for his strength, Willard had killed a man in the ring in 1913 and was later acquitted of second-degree murder charges. Willard died in 1968, aged 86 and remains the longest-lived heavyweight champion. 

In 1975 – Minnie Ripperton is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Lovin’ You. It would remain the only Top 40 hit for Ripperton and only a #75 hit later in the year prevented her from being an ultimate one-hit wonder, an act whose only Hot 100 entry goes to #1. The song also peaked at #2 in Great Britain and at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the final of 12th consecutive #1 songs that spent only one week at the top, a Hot 100 record that still stands. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Indifference to evil makes evil stronger. – Elie Wiesel

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson holds the Hot 100 record for the biggest jump to #1, moving from #97 on February 7, 2009. Since Billboard changed its methods for determining song popularity in the mid-1990s, songs began debuting at #1, a feat that is now common enough to have little statistical significance. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

When did Congress first override a presidential veto? – Answer next time!

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