The Daily Dose/March 31, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience….

Friends, Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Read Free Fortnight rolls on!
The Diary of a Nobody: At the VSO, Sparrow replies to an email. Today’s Diary.   

At the Veterans Service Office (VSO) there was an email from County Commissioner Beth to all department heads advising that the county will be putting out a five-minute video every day updating residents on the virus…I get department head emails even tho I’m not really a department head, altho I am because I head the VSO altho I am the only VSO employee…Still tho, I am attached to the Human Services Department and I’ll be honest, I generally ignore department head emails. 

Anyway, I wrote Commissioner Beth back, asking if she could put a plug for the VSO, that we are still open and ready and willing to be of service, even tho everything has to be handled by phone and email for the foreseeable future. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1992 – The battleship era in the United States Navy comes to an end with the USS Missouri is decommissioned. Missiouri had two periods of commissioned service (1944-55 and 1986-92) and saw action in World War II and the Korean and Persian Gulf wars, and was the site of the Japanese surrender to Allied forces in 1945. The first US battleship, the USS Texas, had been commissioned in 1895. 

In 1984 – Mike Bossy of the New York Islanders establishes a new NHL record, becoming the first player to score 50 or more goals in seven consecutive seasons in a 3-1 win over the Washington Capitals. Bossy had two goals and broke the record of six he had shared with Guy Lafleur of the Montreal Canadiens. Bossy would finish with nine consecutive seasons with 50 or more goals, a record that still stands. 

In 1974 – John Denver is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Sunshine on My Shoulders. It was Denver’s third of seven Top 10 hits and his second of four #1 songs. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #42 on Billboard’s country chart. The song also spent 13 weeks in the Top 40, including seven weeks in the Top 10. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…and Stephen Douglas would still be alive. It was Chase’s view that men who get what they want in the world seldom die, prematurely, of pneumonia in Chicago. – Gore Vidal, Lincoln

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Fleetwoods were the other act besides Frankie Avalon to have two #1 hits in 1959 on the Hot 100. They hit #1 with Come Softly To Me and Mr. Blue. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many NHL players have scored 50 or more goals in at least five consecutive seasons? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 30, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience….

Leading Off is in time-out. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Read Free Fortnight continues at The Diary of a Nobody. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow makes a sandwich with a 50 cent can of potted meat. Today’s Diary.  

It wasn’t too bad…It wasn’t as good as the Satan spreads, but enuff mayo can make postage stamps relatively tasty and one can was perfect for one sandwich, so all in all I give it – if not high marks – at least OK marks.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1981 – John Hinckley shoots President of the United States Ronald Reagan as he is leaving a Washington, D.C. hotel following a speech. Three others are injured and Reagan suffered a broken rib, a punctured lung and some internal bleeding and Press Secretary James Brady was permanently disabled. Hinckley was found not guilty by reason of insanity, was released from federal psychiatric custody in 2016 and now lives, with significant restrictions, in Virginia. 

In 1925 – The Victoria Cougars, champions of the Western Canada Hockey League (WCHL) win the Stanley Cup, winning Game 4 of the Finals 6-1 over the Montreal Canadiens of the NHL. The Canadiens had won their semifinal series over Toronto, but the NHL championship series was not played after regular-season champion Hamilton was suspended from the league. The Cougars are the last non-NHL Stanley Cup champions and would remain the last Stanley Cup champion from west of Chicago until the Edmonton Oilers in 1984. 

In 1959 – Frankie Avalon is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth of five consecutive weeks with Venus. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, peaked at #16 in Great Britain and at #10 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. It was the fourth of 13 Top 40 hits for Avalon and his first of two #1s (Why, one week, 1959). Different versions of a separate song titled Venus would later hit #1, by Shocking Blue (1970) and Bananarama (1986) and further research into the number of times different songs with the same title have hit #1 on a Billboard pop chart was inconclusive. Avalon had begun his career as a trumpet player and initially resisted becoming a singer. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

No man ever knows when he is happy. He can only know when he was happy. – Gore Vidal, Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Tennessee has won eight NCAA women’s basketball championships, the last in 2008.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Frankie Avalon was one of two acts to have two #1 songs in 1959. Who was the other act? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

1. COVID-19 – Mankind still resolutely battling new virus as death rates continue to rise, with worldwide death rate amongst all cases now 6.2%, 18% amongst closed cases and .000004 amongst entire world population.  

2. COVID-19 – US now undisputed world leader in COVID-19 cases with 123,780, a bit less than one-fifth of total cases…2,229 deaths pushes US death rate to .0000065% of total population…COVID-19 first international illness to occupy top two Sunday Bottom 5 spots since pesky Black Plague turned trick in 1347. 

3. USA! USA!: – This will surprise you, but our government actually knew about severity of China’s outbreak in January, but decided to downplay its significance…America being brilliantly led by president who is utterly out of his element against something he can’t rail against on Twitter. 

4. Tokyo Olympics – Gone for now, postponed until next year, presuming attendant headaches can be overcome…Panic sets in amongst international sports fans who will have to do without quadrennial team handball, lightweight double skulls rowing fixes. 

5. President Trump Fact Check – Long a 5-hole staple, President Trump lies about everything else, he might as well like about COVID-19, too…Click here for the very latest misinformation. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Free on Sunday, as usual.

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow actually pays a bill the day he gets it. Today’s Diary. 

In what must be considered the Upset of the Year, I paid the water bill today, a turnaround time virtually unprecedented in my experience…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1974 – Man reaches the planet Mercury for the first time, as Mariner 10 comes within 437 miles. It was the first of three visits to Mercury by the spacecraft and Mariner 10 discovered, among other things, the planet had a surface similar to our moon, had a faint helium atmosphere and a modest magnetic field. It was turned off on March 24, 1975, and is believed to still be in solar orbit, though no one is entirely sure. It was the final Mariner voyage, the last two missions becoming Voyager 1 and Voyager 2. 

In 1998 – The Tennessee Volunteers women’s basketball team establishes a new NCAA record for most wins in a season, winning their 39th game 93-75 over Louisiana Tech in the national championship game in Kansas City. The Volunteers finished the season undefeated and it was their third consecutive national title. The Volunteers broke the record of 35 wins in a season established by Connecticut (UConn) in 1995 and the record for most wins is now 40, held by UConn (2014) and Baylor (2012). 

In 1986 – Rock Me Amadeus by Falco is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks. The song went to #1 in nine other countries, including Sweden and Great Britain and also peaked at #6 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the second of three chart singles on the Hot 100 for Falco and remains his only #1 song. Falco, born Johann Holzel in Austria, died in 1998 at the age of 40 following a car crash in the Dominican Republic. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

At last I had the authority to give direction over the whole scene. I felt as if I were walking with Destiny, and that all my past life had been but preparation for this hour and this trial. – Winston Churchill

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

TheBeatles had 19 #1 albums on the Billboard 200.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many NCAA women’s basketball titles has Tennessee won? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

 Leading Off is taking some time off. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Read Free Fortnight rolls on! Enjoy today’s entry with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: To celebrate being forced to stay at home, Sparrow is growing a beard. Today’s Diary.

I’ve taken to growing a beard…I haven’t shaved since, I think, Tuesday night before heading into the hotel, so I got a pretty good head start…No human being – except a woman, perhaps – looks worse in a beard than I do but, as shown by my walk yesterday, unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1979 – The Three Mile Island nuclear accident occurs near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Several minor equipment failures that were not handled properly, as well as other factors, resulted in a partial meltdown of the core of Unit 2. The facility’s containment vessel held, though, and only trace amounts of radiation escaped into the atmosphere. Cleanup took eleven years and cost $1 billion and the incident remains the worst accident in the history of American commercial nuclear power.

In 1967 – Stan Mikita of the Chicago Blackhawks establishes a new NHL record most assists in a season in a 7-2 win over the Detroit Red Wings. Mikita had one assist – and a goal – in the game, giving him 60 assists on the season, breaking the record of 59 he had established in 1964-65. Mikita would finish the season with 62 assists. His record would be broken by Phil Esposito who had 77 assists in 1968-69 and the record is now held by Wayne Gretzky, who had 163 assists in 1985-86. 

In 1964 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final consecutive week with She Loves You. The song also went to #1 in five other countries including Norway and Great Britain, was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year, their 31st biggest of the decade and came in at #288 on their 60th anniversary Hot 100. It was the ninth consecutive week the group had spent at #1 as they replaced themselves after I Want To Hold Your Hand had spent seven weeks at the top, the first time an act had replaced themselves at #1 on the Hot 100. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Talent is nothing but long patience. – Gustave Flaubert (1821-80), French novelist

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup were the Montreal Canadiens, who defeated the Los Angeles Kings 4 games to 1 in 1993. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who was the first act to replace themselves at #1 on a Billboard singles chart? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 27, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Friends, Read Free Fortnight returns.
For the next couple of weeks, at least, The Diary of a Nobody is free. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow wakes up to a stay at home order. Today’s Diary. 

I presume I am going to lose both my jobs but since 0230 is a bit early to go pestering people, I put off the matter until someone chose to contact me…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1649 – Charles I assumes the thrones of England, Scotland and Ireland, following the death of his father James I (known as James VI in Scotland). Charles I, then 25, had a tumultuous reign. Following defeat to the armies of the English and Scottish parliaments in the English Civil War in 1645 he was arrested, tried and convicted of treason and his reign ended with his beheading on January 30, 1649. 

1917 – The Seattle Metropolitans of the Pacific Coast Hockey Association (PCHA) become the first United States team to win the Stanley Cup, defeating the Montreal Canadiens of the National Hockey Association (NHA) 9-1 in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals. All games were played in Seattle and after losing the opener the Metropolitans won the last three games. It was the last Stanley Cup final that did not feature at least one National Hockey League (NHL)  team, as the NHA became the NHL the following season. 

In 1971 – Janis Joplin is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second and final week with Me and Bobby McGee. Joplin had died of a heroin overdose the previous October and this remains her only solo chart single and was the Hot 100’s second posthumous #1 song (Sitting on the Dock of a Bay, Otis Redding, four weeks, 1968). The song also went to #1 in Australia and was Billboard’s eleventh biggest song of the year. A version by Jerry Lee Lewis would later spend one week at #1 on Billboard’s country chart and peak at #40 on the Hot 100. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Amid world beating hearts, the tumult and the shouting starts. – Grantland Rice, The Start

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The longest winning streak for the Los Angeles Lakers in the 1971-72 season as 33 games, still the NBA and American major league record for most consecutive games won. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who was the last Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup? – Answer next time!

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