The Daily Dose/February 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

USA! USA!: The days when America got worked up about mass shootings is over. General interest in our shootings had been declining for some time, of course, but now unless it happened in our backyard, we can’t be bothered. If you’re in or near Milwaukee you’re paying attention and wearing your Milwaukee Strong buttons, but that’s really about it. 

Few people we know talked about and we couldn’t even be bothered to trot out our usual mass shooting column until today, three days after the fact. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Five people were killed Wednesday when a Molson-Coors employee, apparently peeved at an argument with a co-worker, left and came back armed and started shooting with the killer thoughtfully taking his own life. The brewery used to be known as the Miller brewery. 

Back On Message: Our nation has been at war every day since we invaded Panama in 1989 and a generation later we are feeling the effects. If America had been at peace every day since 1989 we wouldn’t be going through this. Among other things, the Twin Towers would still be standing, ISIS wouldn’t exist and mass shootings would be rare occurrences.

Violence has become the go-to reaction for our government, so it should be no surprise violence has become the go-to reaction for our citizens. We’ve long said that we will not have a peaceful world without a peaceful America. Similarly, we will not have peaceful Americans without a peaceful American government.

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: We deserve better. We deserve better than mass shootings and violent citizens paced by a violent American government. We deserve a government at peace with the world and citizens at peace with each other. 

Gaylon For US Senate…Vote Early, Vote Often: But we must demand it at the ballot box this Election Day. If we re-elect the status quo nothing will change. The time has come for you and me – we the people – to demand better than what we have now. Because the carnage is not going to stop until we do. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination this year. Click here to open the manhole cover and find out more. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a busy day at the Veterans Service Office (VSO). Today’s Diary.  

Well, heck, I was looking forward to being of service but under these circumstances, there wasn’t much I could do for her…I told her we needed her DD-214 before I could so much as ger her a Band-Aid from the VA and we also needed paperwork from the facility that issued the PTSD diagnosis and it would be good to know exactly what the dude in Nebraska sent to the VA so we don’t duplicate anything…She faithfully wrote everything down and said she’d take care of everything and then get back to me. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1940 – Hattie McDaniel wins the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role as Mammy in Gone With the Wind, the first black to win an Oscar. Due to segregation laws, McDaniel was not allowed to attend the movie’s premiere in Atlanta, though she did attend the Hollywood premiere. A multi-talented entertainer, McDaniel died in 1952 and has stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for both films and radio. The location of her Oscar is not known. 

In 1980 – Gordie Howe of the Hartford Whalers becomes the first NHL player with 800 career goals, scoring one goal in the Whalers’ 3-0 win over the St Louis Blues. Howe, then 52, played in all 80 games for the Whalers that season scoring 15 goals and retiring after the season with 801 career goals. Wayne Gretzky would break Howe’s record in March 1994 and his career total of 894 goals remains the NHL record. 

In 1960 – Jim Reeves is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot C&W Sides chart – for the fourth of 14 consecutive weeks with He’ll Have to Go. The song also spent three weeks at #2 on the Hot 100 and peaked at #13 on Billboard’s soul chart, making it one of the few songs to hit on three major Billboard singles charts. Despite not hitting #1 on the Hot 100, the song was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year and ranked #215th on their 60th-anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was the fifth of eleven #1 country songs for Reeves, was his biggest pop hit and remains his only appearance on the soul chart. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The death of a civilization seldom comes from without; internal decay must weaken the fibre of a society before external influences or attacks can change its essential structure, or bring it to an end.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Simon and Garfunkel had five Top 10 hits in Great Britain. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many shorthanded goals did Gordie Howe score in his career? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?: Yesterday in On This Date the lead item concerned some Japanese evildoers who were executed for their part in a subway gas attack. The item noted that they had found out they were going to die the morning of their executions and some of you thought we were mistaken. 

We Are Not Making This Up: No, we weren’t. It’s the way it’s done in Japan: you’re convicted, sentenced and allowed some appeals and when those are denied you sit and wait, sometimes for two or three decades, and nobody tells you when you are going to die. 

On any given day you may be executed or you may not be executed. You have no idea. It’s up to the whims of the government. When they want to kill you they will. Until then you wake up every morning not knowing whether or not you’ll be waking up tomorrow morning.

Some Philosophy Crap: We suppose you could say that none of us know for sure if we’re going to wake up or not tomorrow, but most people reading this aren’t under sentence of death. 

Dry, Technical Matter: When it is your time to go you’re given about an hour’s notice. You can draw up a will and pray to whomever you feel will do you the most good before you make your final walk. 

USA! USA! Death row in the United States has a lot to answer for, but it’s probably better than being condemned in Japan. In America, you’re sentenced to die and eventually you’re given a date. Sometimes this is 90 days or so beforehand, though Ohio has assorted executions scheduled through 2023, which to us seems almost as bad as not knowing your date at all. 

My Country Tis Of Thee: Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, sentences take so long to be carried nowadays the condemned are more likely to kill themselves or die of natural causes than they are to be executed as stays on death row now routinely top 20 years. 

Japan and America are the only two industrialized countries that still have the death penalty and both should be ashamed of themselves. Death row in America is pretty cruel, but boy, not being given a date and wondering every morning if you should make your bed or not has got to be worse. 

Gaylon For US Senate…Vote Early, Vote Often: America, and probably Japan, too, has executed innocent people. The death penalty should be abolished everywhere.

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination. Click here to lift the manhole cover and find out more. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: With The Wife back, there have been some changes around the cabin. Today’s Diary.

One, it’s clean…Two, the heater, after being at 69 degrees and not being touched for two whole months, is back to fluctuating between 43 and 110, depending on whatever particular mood The Wife happens to be in…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 202 BC – The Han Dynasty in China begins when Liu Bang becomes Emperor Gaozu of Han. Bang had been an official in the previous dynasty as well moonlighting as the leader of the rebel forces. He ruled for seven years until his death in 195 BC and with the exception of 9-23 AD, the Han Dynasty would rule China until 220 AD, when China was divided into three states, known to History as the Three Kingdoms period. 

In 1967 – Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia 76ers establishes a new NBA record for most consecutive field goals made in a season, making his 35th consecutive in a 127-107 win over the Cincinnati Royals, in a game played at Syracuse, New York. Chamberlain missed his next shot and finished the night 11-of-14 from the field, finishing the game with 28 points. The streak had started on Feb 17. The Cincinnati Royals are now the Sacramento Kings and research into whose record Chamberlain broke was inconclusive.  

In 1970 – Simon and Garfunkel are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of six consecutive weeks with Bridge Over Troubled Water. The song went to #1 in four other countries, including France and Great Britain, was Billboard’s biggest song of the year, the second biggest of the decade and ranked 229th on Billboard’s 60th-anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was the third and final #1 song (The Sounds of Silence, 1965; Mrs. Robinson, 1968) for the group and Bridge Over Troubled Water has since made the Hot 100 on five other occasions, and Buck Owens and His Buckaroos hitting #8 on the country chart with the song in 1971.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

For there was that within me which misfortune could not steal away. – Wen T’ien-hsian (1236-83), Chinese poet

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Denver Nuggets and Detroit Pistons hold the record for most points in an NBA game, combining for 370 in a 186-184 Detroit victory. The game took three overtimes. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many Top 10 hits did Simon and Garfunkel have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 27, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off is taking some PTO. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow whines about the number of quarters in the safe. Today’s Diary.   

Someone went to the bank and there were so many quarters in the safe a shoulder almost fell out of its socket when I was pulling the drawer out…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 2004 – Shoko Asahara, the leader of the Japanese cult responsible for carrying out the 1995 chemical attacks on the Tokyo subway, is sentenced to death. The attack used the nerve agent sarin, which causes suffocation due to lung muscle paralysis and resulted in twelve deaths and over 10,000 injuries. Asahara, as well as six others, had their death sentences carried out in 2018 when they were hung at a Tokyo prison. As usual for Japan, they were not given an execution date, they were notified the morning of their sentences were going to be carried out. 

In 1959 – The Boston Celtics and Minneapolis Lakers establish a new NBA record for most points in a game (312) and Bob Cousy of the Celtics establishes records for most assists in a game (28) and a half (19) in a 173-139 Celtics victory. Research into whose records were broken was inconclusive, but Cousy’s single-game record was broken in Feb 1978 by Kevin Porter of the New Jersey nets (29) and is now held by Scott Skiles of the Orlando Magic, who had 30 in a Dec 1990 game. Cousy’s mark for most assists in one half still stands and the Celtics 173 points remain the NBA record for most points by a team in a non-overtime game. 

In 1971 – Sammi Smith is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the third and final week with Help Me Make It Through the Night. The song was the first of three Top 10 country hits for Smith and remains her only #1 song. The song also peaked at #8 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and at #3 on its Easy Listening chart, now known as the Adult Contemporary chart. The song was written by Kris Kristofferson and returned to the country chart in 1980 when Willie Nelson took it to #4. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…the real artist must not so much think for the reader as lure him into active thought.. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Doug Harvey won six Stanley Cups as a player with the Montreal Canadiens. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What teams hold the NBA record for most points in a game? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 26, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off is taking some PTO. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow is still field testing his new mobile phone holster. Today’s Diary. 

I am still field testing my new $10 phone holster, unable to decide whether to have the end facing forward or backward…Tonight I had it so the phone was inserted/taken out from the back, this after facing it the other way last night.

I really can’t tell the difference, honestly…Both directions work well and neither has any glaring advantages or disadvantages that would make this momentous decision easier…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 2013 – A hot air balloon crash in Luxor, Egypt kills 19 of 21 people on board. The balloon was preparing to land after returning from a sightseeing flight when a leaking fuel line caused a fire and the balloon began to rise. The pilot – no dummy – and another passenger jumped out and survived while seven others jumped to their deaths. The others died when the passenger compartment exploded about 300 feet above the ground. It remains the deadliest balloon disaster in history and was the deadliest crash by a lighter-than-air craft since the Hindenburg disaster in 1939.

In 1955 – Doug Harvey of the Montreal Canadiens establishes a new NHL record for most assists in a season by a defenseman, tallying an assist in a 4-1 win over the Boston Bruins, breaking the record of 40 that had been established by Babe Pratt of the Toronto Maple Leafs in 1943-44. Harvey would eclipse this mark with 44 assists two seasons later and the record has been broken many times and his now held by Bobby Orr of Boston, who had 102 assists in the 1970-71 season. 

In 1966 – Nancy Sinatra is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with These Boots Are Made For Walkin’. It was Sinatra’s first of ten Top 40 hits and her first of two #1 songs (Somethin’ Stupid, with father Frank Sinatra, 1967). The song also went to #1 in seven other countries including Rhodesia and Great Britain and was Billboard’s 13th biggest song of the year. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Do not allow yourself to be tormented by the stupidity of others…Remember that from its earliest beginnings the world has never been free from fools. – Kaibara Ekken (1630-1714), Japanese philosopher

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Muhammed Ali’s professional boxing record was 56-5. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many Stanley Cups did Doug Harvey win in his NHL career? – Answer next time!

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