The Daily Dose/March 6, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off continues to enjoy some PTO.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Christmas at The Shire. Today’s Diary. 

I finally got around to giving The Wife her Christmas present and to putting to use the one she gave me…The Wife had just favored the world with her presence and had swung her legs over the end of the bed when she announced she wished she had some slippers. 

“You do!!!”

Crap, I’d forgotten all about them…I think I reported their purchase here but, of course, The Wife fled to Kansas to tend to her sister before Christmas so I never gave them to her…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1665 – The world’s oldest scientific journal, Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, is published. (Philosophical back then meant science.) The Royal Society had been founded in 1660, chartered by King Charles II, and originally the journal was published privately by the organization’s secretary and became an official publication of the Society in 1752. Since 1887 the Society has published two journals, one dedicated to physical sciences and the other to life sciences. 

In 1983 – The United States Football League begins its first season, with ten of its twelve teams in action. (The other two played the following day.) The league would last three seasons, folding after only being awarded $1 in damages after winning their antitrust suit against the NFL. The Michigan Panthers won the first USFL championship and the Philadelphia/Baltimore Stars won the last two. 

In 1961 – The MIracles are at #1 on the Billboard soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B Sides chart – for the ninth and final consecutive week with Shop Around. It was first of four soul chart #1s for the group and the first of 39 Top 40 soul hits. The song also peaked at #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and was the first Top 40 hit for the group and would remain their biggest hit until The Tears of a Clown went to #1 in 1970 and the song returned to the Hot 100 in 1972 when the Captain and Tennille took it to #4. The song was written by Smokey Robinson and Barry Gordy and was the first million-selling record for Motown Records.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The case against Clevenger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with. – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

John Adams, a future president of the United States, was the attorney for the eight British soldiers who stood trial for the deaths in the Boston Massacre. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many people who played in or worked for the USFL are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 5, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Friends, Leading Off continues to enjoy some PTO.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest MPG figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary.  

I am not Mr Car so I have some zero clue why we have a 3 MPG variance, but it doesn’t matter, we’re consistently back above 30 MPG and that’s good for morale. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1770 – What History refers to as the Boston Massacre occurs when British soldiers shoot into a crowd of colonists. The soldiers were being attacked by the pesky colonists and their retaliation killed three colonists immediately with two others later dying of their wounds. Eight soldiers would go on trial in November with six being acquitted and two others convicted of manslaughter. They were spared a death sentence and instead received brandings on a thumb. 

In 1996 – The Dallas Mavericks establish a new NBA record for most three-point field goal attempts in a game and Dallas’ George McCloud ties the mark for individual three-point attempts in a 127-117 win over the New Jersey Nets. The Mavericks made 18-of-49 three-point attempts while McCloud went 7-for-20 and both records have been surpassed many times. The team record is now 70 attempts by the Houston Rockets on January 19, 2019, and the individual record is now held by Klay Thompson of the Golden State Warriors, who had 24 attempts on October 29, 2018. Thompson made 14 of them, also an NBA record. 

In 1983 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of seven consecutive weeks with Billie Jean. It was Jackson’s fourth of 13 #1 songs as a solo act or part of a duo and his ninth of 30 Top 10 hits. The song went to #1 in nine other countries including Switzerland and Great Britain and Billie Jean was also in its fourth of nine consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year and also ranked 83rd on its 60th-anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. Jackson co-wrote the song with Quincy Jones and the pair bickered about various aspects of the song before Jones yielded. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It is no discredit to our species that in all ages its curiosity has outrun its wisdom… – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The NHL record for most goals scored in a game by one team this century is 12 by the Washington Capitals who defeated the Florida Panthers 12-2 on January 11, 2003. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who was the attorney for the eight British soldiers who went on trial for the deaths in the Boston Massacre? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 4, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Treasured readers and others, the column will return. Thank you for understanding.

Today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody can be read here.  

Many thanks for reading and have a reasonably good day,

Gaylon

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 3, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Stanko stops by the VSO to talk about the post’s summer baseball team. Today’s Diary. 

Baseball is a tuff go up here…There’s really only five playable days a year which accounts for the fact baseball is the 27th most popular sport, right behind cribbage-snowboarding…We seldom have more than a dozen players which makes it tuff to field a team when you take into consideration family vacations and camps for other sports and whatnot. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1991 – The beating of Rodney King by members of the Los Angeles Police Department is videotaped by a nearby resident near the Pacoima section of Los Angeles. King had been pulled over after fleeing a CHP unit that tried to pull him over for speeding. Four officers were tried with three acquitted with the jury unable to reach a verdict on the fourth. This was not the verdict some in Los Angeles were looking for and within a few hours rioting began that lasted six days and killed 63 people. 

In 1920 – The Montreal Canadiens establish a new NHL record for most goals in a game defeating the Quebec Bulldogs 16-3. The Canadiens got four goals in the first period, seven in the second and five in third, with Newsy Lalonde and Harry Cameron each scoring four times. The Canadiens broke the record of 14 goals they had established on January 10 against Toronto. The record still stands. 

In 1961 – Leroy Van Dyke is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot C&W Sides chart – for the 19th and final non-consecutive week with Walk On By. The song had first gone to #1 on Sept 25, 1960, spent a total of 37 weeks on the country chart and remains the most weeks spent at #1 on a major Billboard singles chart for an act’s only #1 song by an act who is no longer charting. Bebe Rexha, who spent 50 weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart with Meant To Be (2017-18) will break this record if she does not produce another #1 hit. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Since [priests] were providing the first necessity of life – a consolatory hope – their industry flourished even when others decayed; their wealth grew from century to century, while the poverty of the people remained.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Phil Esposito had six seasons of 100 or more points. His high was 152 points in 1970-71. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What NHL team holds the record for most goals scored in a game this century? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 2, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

ANOTHER WAR WE’RE NOT WINNING: A story in our local newspaper here in northwest Colorado caught our eye: a man who had been arrested and convicted for transporting heroin and meth last year had been sentenced to 39 years in state prison. 

39 years!

Dry, Technical Matter: 39 years despite the fact he was moving a product there was a demand for because there would be no trouble selling his product. He had waiting customers. It was hardly as if he was forcing anyone to use. 

Look, we don’t do heroin or meth, either, but the purpose of this item is not to discuss the pros and cons of either narcotic. Like you might, we have first-hand experience into the consequences of drug abuse and it isn’t pretty and we have the ashes in our closet to prove it. We don’t do them and we would prefer you don’t, either. 

Back On Message: Our purpose is to discuss their continued criminalization. 

Fly In The Ointment: Did this man’s arrest, conviction and sentencing in any way stop anyone from using heroin or meth? Of course, it didn’t. All it really did was take some product off the street, which merely increased the cost of a fix for users which probably means they’ll need to steal more to pay for their habit. 

OTOH: If these substances were legal, then the guy is merely a vendor trying to move some product, a point we made every hour on the hour after the arrest, trial and conviction of Mexican drug lord El Chapo. If drugs were legal El Chapo would still be in Mexico, moving product there is a great deal of demand for here in America. 

Gaylon For US Senate…Vote Early, Vote Often: This country learned nothing from Prohibition: laws like this do not work. All they do is create more criminals, something we have enough of already. America should end its drug war; it’s already claimed enough victims. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination. Click here to open the manhole cover and find out more. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets a free pizza at the hotel. Today’s Diary.   

There were also several pizza boxes from the restaurant and one of them contained a complete, untouched, meat lovers pizza…Sigh…Pizza left in or near a trash can, or on a room service tray outside a room, no, you don’t touch those…Not only are their sanitary reasons, but it’s also bad for morale taking used food in those situations. 

A completely untouched box in the lobby, tho???…Gee whiz…It hadn’t even been opened, at least until I went to pick it up and noticed its heft…It was hardly fresh from the oven but it hadn’t been sitting all that long, either and I ended up taking it in the back office and eventually eating the whole thing…Belch. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1972 – Man’s first voyage to Jupiter, Pioneer 10, is launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida. It would make its closest approach to Jupiter – 82,178 miles – on December 3, 1973, and Jupiter was the only planet Pioneer 10 visited. The last communications received from the spacecraft, too weak to contain anything intelligible, came in 2003 and took 11 hours and 23 minutes to reach Earth. 

In 1969 – Phil Esposito of the Boston Bruins becomes the first NHL player to score 100 points in a season as the Bruins defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-0. Esposito had two goals on the night and would finish the season with 126 points. Later in the season, Bobby Hull and Gordie Howe would become the second and third players in NHL history to score 100 points in a season and the record is now held by Wayne Gretzky, who 215 points in 1985-86. 

In 1974 – Terry Jacks is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Seasons in the Sun. The song went to #1 in twelve other countries including Norway and Great Britain, was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year and ranked 220th on their 60th-anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. Though Jacks had a couple of other songs hit the Hot 100, Seasons in the Sun remains his only Top 40 hit in America. Jacks had originally produced a version of the song by the Beach Boys and only recorded it himself after the group abandoned the song. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Real work began with me only in my seventieth year. Now at seventy-five the real appreciation of nature awakens within me. – Hokusai (1760-1849), Japanese painter

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Gordie Howe had 24 shorthanded goals in his career. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many times did Phil Esposito score 100 or more points in an NHL season? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!