The Daily Dose/Tuesday, February 25, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 25, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HIGHER…STRONGER…SICKER: We don’t want to see the upcoming Summer Olympics moved out of Tokyo anymore than you do, but the coronavirus isn’t going away and while the death toll is a fraction of that of the flu, we can’t be wondering if the IOC has a plan in the back of a safe at IOC headquarters detailing a plan to move a Games on short notice. 

Fly In The Ointment: Officially, IOC officials and Tokyo officials are adamant in saying the Games will go on as scheduled, however, actions speak louder than words and test and qualification events are being canceled or moved from Asia left and right. And it’s important to note Olympic officials trotted out this same line for the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Games, which had its own virus outbreak, not to mention athletes swimming in human waste, and those Games were held at the appointed time and place and it’s possible the Tokyo Games will go off as planned, too. It’s also possible they won’t. 

Get Your Notebooks Out…: If they do have to move them from Japan, this would be an excellent opportunity to try out our proposal of having different events hosted by different countries. 

…Class Is In Session: For example, track and field can be held in London and basketball and baseball in the United States, soccer in South America, though it is winter there right now, and we can’t see a reason not to hold some of the Games’ oldest sports like wrestling and modern pentathlon in Greece. Non-glamour sports can be held in areas where they are most popular, like central Europe for team handball and wherever the hell archery and equestrian are the most popular. On very short notice like moving the Tokyo Games would be, a plan like this makes sense because it would be supremely difficult to find one city that could accommodate all events, athletes and officials on a few month’s notice. 

Dry, Technical Matter: A plan like this also makes sense on a permanent basis because it is getting more and more expensive for one site to host the Olympics nowadays and fewer and fewer cities are willing to submit bids. The fact that Paris and Los Angeles were awarded the 2024 and 2028 Summer Games without competition shows this. The 2026 Winter Games were awarded to Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy almost by default. Five other cities had lost interest and organizers of the remaining finalist’s bid, Stockholm weren’t seen weeping after they lost.  

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’re not doctors, and Lord knows we’ve never played one on TV, plus we’re lousy prognosticators, but we think it’s 50/50 the Tokyo Games get moved. If they do, a worldwide Olympics would be a sensible solution for 2020 and for future Olympiads, too. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow is unable to help a guest. Today’s Diary.  

One gentleman forgot to make ground transportation arrangements to the airport and wanted to know what I could do…We’ve been thru this before: not a whole hell of a lot, except offer moral support…The local taxi company only offers shared shuttle service and the few rideshares that are up here appeared to be taking the morning off…Like some I’ve encountered over the years, he seemed disappointed I was unable to immediately solve his problem, something you run into from time to time in the service racket, but there was literally nothing I could do…I mean, I can’t shit ground transportation…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1870 – Hiram Rhodes Revels becomes the black to serve in the United States Congress when he is seated in the United States Senate. Revels had been elected by the Mississippi legislature in January but was not seated immediately in the Senate because of opposition from southern, white senators.  A minister, Revels served until the end of his term the following year. He was in the Chaplain Corps of the Union Army during the Civil War and died in 1901. 

In 1964 – Cassius Clay, later Muhammed Ali, wins the world heavyweight title for the first time, defeating Sonny Liston when Liston refused to come out for the seventh round. Clay would defeat Liston in a first-round knockout the following May and would be stripped of the title in 1967 for refusing to be drafted in the US Army so he could go fight in Vietnam. Clay/Ali would win the heavyweight title on two other occasions. 

In 1984 – Van Halen is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of five consecutive weeks with Jump. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Italy and peaked at #7 in Great Britain, was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year and ranked 227th on their 60th-anniversary chart in 2018. It was the group’s fourth of 13 Top 40 hits and remains their only #1 song. The synthesizer line had been recorded by Eddie Van Halen in 1981, but the group declined to expand on it then. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

A man must go to bed with his purpose in order to wake up to fame.  – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The United States has won eight silver medals in Olympic ice hockey, most recently at the 2010 Vancouver Games.   

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was Muhammed Ali’s career record as a professional fighter? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 24

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The Daily Dose/Monday, February 24, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 24, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a guest call for a nurse and then immediately hang up. Today’s Diary.  

As it was, I called the guy right back and he reported everything was all right…I believed him and there wasn’t any screaming or any other untoward sounds – like someone trying to escape bondage – in the background, so I let it go…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1868 – President of the United States Andrew Johnson becomes the first president to be impeached by the House of Representatives when the House passes a resolution favoring impeachment. Later, the House adopted eleven articles, all stemming from his dismissal of Secretary of War Edwin Stanton in violation of the Tenure of Office Act. Johnson would be acquitted by the US Senate in May. To date, two other presidents have been impeached, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump, both of whom were acquitted by the Senate, too. 

In 1980 – The United States wins the ice hockey gold medal at the Lake Placid Winter Games, defeating Finland 4-2 in the final game of the medal round. It was the second Olympic hockey title for the US, who had also won at the 1960 Squaw Valley, California games.  Two days earlier, the US had defeated the Soviet Union 4-3 in what History refers to as the Miracle on Ice and what is still regarded as one of the greatest upsets in sports history. 

In 1973 – Love Train by the O’Jays is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Best Selling Soul Singles chart – for the second of four consecutive weeks. It was second of nine soul chart #1 for the O’Jays and their 14th of 47 hits on the soul chart. Later the song would spend a week at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and Love Train remains the group’s only #1 pop hit. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It is no discredit to our species that in all ages its curiosity has outrun its wisdom… – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Vince Carter, now with the Atlanta Hawks, is the NBA leader amongst active players with 1,532 career games played, a mark that is good for third on the all-time list.   

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many silver medals has the United States won in Olympic men’s ice hockey? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 23

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, February 23, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

1. Houston AstrosStrong favorites to break modern major league team hit by pitch record this season…Also in running for Irony of the Year Award after stealing signs of hecklers at spring training opener. 

2. CoronavirusExciting new epidemic mainly affecting Asia, and while usual corporate stonewalling announcing upcoming Tokyo Olympics will go on as scheduled was expected, at least one health official brave enough to say if Games began today they would have to be postponed. 

3. CoronavirusRoughly 2,500 worldwide deaths about a tenth of average annual US influenza deaths…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” coronavirus first virus “like, basically, ever” to be ranked twice in same Sunday Bottom 5 survey. 

4. Russia Zany Ruskies back at it for 2020 encore, as attempting meddling in Bernie Sanders campaign announced…Plans to foster division amongst Americans generally regarded as silly as America already divided to an extent that makes 1960s seem like something out of Mother Goose. 

5. The TruthOne-time virtue continues to take it in shorts as both President Trump and Democratic presidential contenders continue to issue falsehoods and misinformation…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” we deserve better than this, but Americans continue to tolerate it…Click here for latest fact-checking nonsense. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest on his new phone holster. Today’s Diary. 

I am very pleased with my $10 phone holster and offhand I’m calling it $10 Phone Holster Purchase of the Year…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1945 – One of our species’ most iconic photographs is taken on Mount Suribachi on the south Pacific island of Iwo Jima when a group of United States Marines and a Navy hospital corpsman raise the United States flag following a US victory on the island. The picture was taken by Joe Rosenthal of the Associated Press and despite the limitations of the time, the photograph was able to make it into Sunday newspapers two days later. Rosenthal was named an honorary Marine in 1996. 

In 1986 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar establishes a new NBA record for most games played in a career, appearing in his 1,304th game, a 117-111 overtime win against Philadelphia. Abdul-Jabbar broke the record established by Elvin Hayes between 1968 and 1984 and the record is now held by Robert Parrish, who played in 1,611 games from 1976 to 1997. Abdul-Jabbar played his first game in 1969 would retire in 1989 with 1,560 games played. 

In 1957 – Blue Monday by Fats Domino is at #1 on Billboards R&B Best Sellers chart – a predecessor of today’s soul chart – for the fifth of eight non-consecutive weeks. It was Domino’s seventh of nine #1 songs on the soul chart and also peaked at #9 on Billboard’s pop Best Sellers in Stores chart, his third of eight Top 10 pop hits and also peaked at #23 in Great Britain. Domino, whose first name was Antoine, died at age 89 in 2017.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The goal of philosophy is to find that secret, and to lose the seeker in the secret found.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Richard Petty is the driver who has won the most Daytona 500s with seven.   

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who holds the NBA record for most career games amongst active players? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 22

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, February 22, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: The cat will not stop meowing while Sparrow is trying to sleep. Today’s Diary.   

Boy, the cat would not stop meowing this morning while I was trying to sleep…She first woke me up a little after midnight and I wanted to sleep so I didn’t even bother, I got up and surrendered to her demand for a canned yummy ration…I left it on the kitchen table because I couldn’t be bothered to take it to her usual feeding station in the living room and was back in bed in less than a minute. 

You’d think this would shut her up but no, she was soon back at it…I have no idea what for, lord knows she couldn’t be hungry…I wasn’t ready to get up yet so I shut the bedroom door, which she doesn’t like at all…This didn’t end the meowing, of course – she stands post outside the door – but combined with my earplugs, it lowered the volume to that of background noise. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1797 – France invades Great Britain in the Battle of Fishguard (Wales) in the War of the First Coalition. The three-day battle resulted in a convincing British victory and remains the last landing on British soil by a hostile foreign force. The war resulted in a French victory over assorted European countries, and the War of the Second Coalition began the following year. 

In 1959 – Lee Petty wins the first Daytona 500 at Daytona International Raceway, defeating Johnny Beauchamp by two feet. The race was so close Beauchamp was initially declared the winner, though Petty protested this and he wasn’t declared the winner until the following Wednesday after NASCAR reviewed assorted newsreel footage of the finish, though legend has it NASCAR knew Petty had won and merely wanted the extra publicity. The average speed was 135.521 mph and this was Petty’s only win in the Daytona 500. 

In 1964 – The Beatles are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fourth of seven consecutive weeks with I Want To Hold Your Hand. It was the first of a Hot 100 record 20 #1 singles for the group, their first of three consecutive #1s on the Hot 100 and their first of five #1 songs for the year. The song also went to #1 in Sweden, Australia and Great Britain, where it spent five weeks at #1. It was Billboard’s biggest song of 1964, the fourth biggest of the decade and ranked 48th on Billboard’s 60th anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The artist must train not only his eye but also his soul. – Wassily Kandinsky (1866-1944), Russian painter

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Bee Gees’ first appearance on any national singles chart came in 1963 when The Battle of the Blue and the Gray peaked at #98 in Australia.  

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What driver has won the most Daytona 500s? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 21

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The Daily Dose/Friday, February 21, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 21, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose is enjoying some PTO. As penance, The Diary of a Nobody is offered with our compliments. Click here to read it.

Thank you for reading,

Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 20

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, February 20
Had a great workout this morning…I had unlimited time, so I did a full one and while there were a couple of exercises I was only able to get up eight times on the final set, I was still strong. 

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