The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 17 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Doesn’t anybody want to lose this thing?
Presented with the chance to cement their spot atop the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – the New York Giants blinked, defeating Miami, though it should be pointed out a lot of teams have beaten Miami this season.
Welcome back Cincinnati! The Bengals, long the #1 team in the Bottom Ten i 2019, ascend the throne yet again, a mere two (2)-game losing streak away from the Bottom Ten title Marvin Lewis could never deliver.
This week’s mess, as the nags pass the eighth pole:
1. Cincinnati Bengals (1-11; lost to New England 34-13) – Lost in cacophony over Patriots filming Bengals signals is fact Bengals themselves never knew them in the first place…Bengals can claim best season ever by losing out, eclipsing 2002 squad’s 2-14 mark…Next Loss: at Miami
The Daily Dose/December 18, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Notes from around the human experience…
Leading Off is in time-out for today. It will return.
Today At The Site The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest gas mileage figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary.
The latest gas mileage figures from Monday’s fill-up are in: 31.23 MPG, well less than the road trip figures, but consistent with what we’ve had for the tuff country driving I subject the new ride to.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
Friends, the final NCAA Bottom Ten column of the season will move Thursday.
Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually.
On This Date In 1898 – The first officially recognized land-speed record is set about 15 miles north of Paris when French aristocrat Gaston de Chasseloup-Laubat drives an electric car 39.23 MPH. The record would be broken ten days later when Belgian Camille Jenatzy drove 49.93 and the two would exchange record-breaking drives through the following spring. The current land speed record is 763.035 MPH by Britain’s Andy Green, a record that has stood since 1997.
In 1932 – The first National Football League championship game is played with the Chicago Bears defeating the Portsmouth Spartans – now the Detroit Lions – 9-0. The game had been scheduled for Wrigley Field but was moved indoors to Chicago Stadium, home of the NHL Black Hawks, because of weather concerns. Previously the NFL had given the league title to the team that finished the regular season with the best record, but both teams had finished the season with 6-1 won-loss records (ties were disregarded) and they had tied their two regular-season meetings. The game proved to be so popular the NFL has played championship games every year since.
In 1965 – Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season) by the Byrds is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final consecutive week. It was the second and final #1 song for the group (Mr Tambourine Man, 1965) and their second of three Top 40 hits and the song also peaked at #26 in Britain. Songwriting credit is given to Pete Seeger, who took most of the lyrics the Bible’s book Ecclesiastes, written before Christ, with Seeger adding the “time for peace” and “turn, turn, turn” lines. The lines from the Bible remain the oldest lyrics for a #1 song in Hot 100 history.
Quotebook Man must deal with himself. It is his reality he must face each morning when he rises. He must be, he must move, he must create. – Louis L’Amour, The Lonesome Gods
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Besides the 1972 Miami Dolphins, four other teams finished an entire season without a loss are the 1929 Green Bay Packers (12-0-1), the 1923 and 1922 Canton Bulldogs (11-0-1, 10-0-2) and the 1920 Akron Pros (8-0-3).
Today’s Stumper What is the fastest humans have ever traveled? – Answer next time!
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The Daily Dose/December 16, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Notes from around the human experience…
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site The Diary of a Nobody: A guest has transportation problems. Today’s Diary.
The girl had actually called me from her room about 0100 to announce she had a 0830 flight at the local airport (near The Shire, actually) in a tone that implied it was my job to get her there…You run into this from time to time, people who do not have the good sense to arrange for ground transportation in advance…Dude, it’s a small town with a rinky-dink county airport, there aren’t fleets of busses standing by…There are options, but nothing reliable on this short of notice…I gave her both shuttle service numbers and suggested an Uber/Lyft and told her the hotel does not offer transportation to the airport and that I do not otherwise arrange it for her.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
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On This Date In 1773 – Members of a group known as the Sons of Liberty, a secret group formed in the American colonies to fight British taxation, disguise themselves as Indians, board various ships in Boston Harbor and throw chests of tea into the water. The action was in protest of Britain’s Tea Act of 1773, which was designed to cut the use of tea smuggled into the colonies and get colonists to pay taxes on it. The British did not take the protest well and the Boston Tea Party was a major instigator of the American Revolution.
In 1972 – The Miami Dolphins establish a new NFL record, becoming the first team to go 14-0 in a regular season, defeating the Baltimore Colts 16-0. The Dolphins would go on to defeat Cleveland and Pittsburgh in the AFC playoffs and defeated Washington in the Super Bowl. Though not the only undefeated team in NFL history, the 1972 Dolphins remain the only NFL team to finish a season undefeated and untied.
In 1989 – Billy Joel is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final consecutive week with We Didn’t Start the Fire. The song contains a variety of historical references that occurred between 1949, the year Joel was born, until 1989. The song made the Top 10 in eight other countries, including Great Britain where it peaked at #7 and ranked 354th on Billboard’s 2018 60th anniversary Hot 100. It was Joel’s 29th Top 40 hit, his 11th Top 10 hit and his third and last #1 song.
Quotebook If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with two weeks vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days. – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Answer To The Last Trivia Question Chris Paul of the Houston Rockets is NBA’s leader in steals among active players with 2,164.
Today’s Stumper What other NFL teams finished an entire season undefeated? – Answer next time!
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The Daily Dose/December 15, 2019 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5 The very best of the very worst of the week that was…
1. Republicans – Barring a palace coup in President Trump’s US Senate trial, GOP set to continue to defend the indefensible – a president who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars – by acquitting president, probably next month.
2. Democrats – A party so fractured that two dozen of them thought they had a chance to earn their presidential nomination…Number now down to less than 12, but Democrats not doing selves, America any good as most candidates ignoring mainstream, focusing only on most hardcore Democrats who what government to pay for everything.
3. America – Going down harder than a whore with the fleet in now, as fractured, bickering, once-proud, once-relevant, shooting gallery of a country will collapse by the time this half-century is out if something is not done about perpetual wars, mindless spending, deep social divides that could make 1860s, 1960s, look like something out of Mother Goose.
4. American Electorate – Has two options on Election Day 2020: they can continue to accept the status quo – a partisan, fractured, bickering government – or they can make some changes…Entire planet, Main Street, standing by to see what they do.
5. College Football Playoff –Got off pretty easy this year, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters stubbornly point out a 32-team NCAA Division I Football Playoff could have started Thanksgiving weekend, played national quarterfinals yesterday, end on New Year’s Day.
Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s 2020 United States Senate nomination. Click here to visit his campain’s website.
We may not be getting any comp meals this season, but there was a flyer in the back office announcing free yoga this month…It’s a new studio looking to draw tourists and they are trying to bribe us…Fabulous…I certainly appreciate their efforts to bribe us, but I can’t eat yoga…In fact, I’m such a hulking mess, I probably can’t evven do yoga, as anything more than touching my shins would probably find me helpless…
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.
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On This Date In 1791 – What are now the first ten amendments to the United States Constitution take effect when the Virginia General Assembly approves the Bill of Rights. The amendments had been submitted to the several states on Sept. 25, 1789 after approval by Congress. Two amendments submitted by Congress were not ratified. One, concerning how representatives are determined, is still pending. The other, concerning Congressional compensation, was ratified in 1992 and is now the 27th Amendment.
In 1984 – Gus Williams of the Washington Bullets establishes a new NBA record with his 1,404th career steal in a 109-103 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers. Williams broke the record of 1,403 that had been established by Randy Smith, who played for several teams between 1971 and 1983. Williams retired in 1987 with 1,638 steals, a mark now good for 27th on the all-time list, and the record is now held by John Stockton, with 3.265.
In 1973 – Charlie Rich is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with The Most Beautiful Girl. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Belgium and also peaked at #2 in Great Britain. It was the first #1 song for Rich in a chart career that had begun in 1960 and earlier the song had spent three weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart, his second of nine country #1s. Rich died at age 62 in 1995 of natural causes.
Quotebook Lethargy [is] the forerunner of death to the public liberty. – Thomas Jefferson
Answer To The Last Trivia Question A nautical mile is 6,076 feet, 1.44 inches. This figure is commonly reduced to 2,000 yards in navigation.
Today’s Stumper What active player currently leads the NBA in career steals? – Answer next time!
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