Some thoughts on the Electoral College…

The Daily Dose/November 14, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Foremost Humorist

BACK TO THE FUTURE: As they do from time to time, some of our fellow citizens are getting their shorts in a knot over the Electoral College, the quaint, archaic method America uses to elect its president. Last week the Electoral College elected Donald Trump as president even though Hillary Clinton received more popular votes.

This is the fourth time in American history this has happened.

We’re In For Some Dry, Technical Matter, Aren’t We?: In 1824 Andrew Jackson received more popular and electoral votes than John Quincy Adams. Jackson did not receive a majority of electoral votes, however, and the House of Representatives elected Adams president.

Some Places Have Interns For This: In 1876 Samuel Tilden outpolled Rutherford B Hayes in the popular vote, but there were 20 disputed electoral votes from four states. Nobody really knew what the hell to do, so a 15-member commission was formed. A complete recap of the Compromise of 1877 is, thankfully, beyond the scope of even this crap, but a series of 8-7 votes gave the disputed electoral votes and the presidency to Hayes.

Oh, Jesus H: In 1888 Benjamin Harrison handily won the electoral vote, though Grover Cleveland barely won the popular vote.

This Is The Last One, Right?: In 2000 George W Bush won the presidency when the Supreme Court gave him Florida’s electoral votes, which gave him a majority, despite the fact Al Gore won the nationwide popular vote.

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: The Electoral College came about because some Founding Fathers didn’t really want the masses directly electing the president, while some of the smaller states favored it because they felt the large states would otherwise dominate presidential elections.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’re not entirely sure the Electoral College should go. We wouldn’t violently protest if it did, but the Electoral College does a good job of emphasizing the fact we are a collection of states and not merely a single jurisdiction. It also forces the winner to have a broad base of support and those who think only winning the big states will be sufficient would do well remember Clinton won New York and California this year and still lost the election.

USA! USA! Despite having no qualifications for the job, despite being an insulting, bigoted hot mess, despite his only real talent being drumming interest in himself, despite not being endorsed by any major newspaper not owned by Sheldon Adelson, Trump showed the strength of the Electoral College: Trump won 30 states and Clinton won 20 because he was able to mobilize the white, working Americans to the polls.

Consider this: Trump won 90 percent of rural counties, 90 percent of counties where the median income is less than $50,000 and 91 percent of counties where five percent or less of the residents are foreign-born.

Trump won because he was able to muster broad-based support across the country, not too bad a way to elect a president. The candidate with most popular votes didn’t win? All right, not particularly ideal, but the Democrats should’ve won more than 20 states.

With Liberty And Student Loans For All: Clinton won 80 percent of counties where more than half of residents had four-year college degrees. Which says something, too, because Clinton  – who did not have the good sense not to use a private email server as secretary of state nor the character not to lie about it – was no more qualified to be president than Trump is.

Read This And Weep: 240 years after the Declaration of Independence and 150 years after this nation abolished slavery, the Election of 2016 shows we are as bigoted and narrow-minded as ever.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 72 DAYS: Nellie Bly, an American newspaper reporter and one this nation’s first investigative journalists, begins a trip to travel around the world in 80 days on this date in 1889. The trip was inspired by one our species’ iconic books, Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne.

Bly left Hoboken, New Jersey by ship and after arriving in England traveled through the Middle East and Asia before sailing to San Francisco, and then taking a train back to New York.

All told, Bly traveled almost 25,000 miles.

No, Really, I’m Crackers: This was not Bly’s first meeting with Ms Notoriety. In 1887 Bly feigned insanity and spent ten days in a New York City mental institution. Tolerating lousy food and harsh treatment, her expose in the New York World prompted a grand jury investigation and numerous reforms.

This Is Reginald Counting Them Down: The first singles chart in the United Kingdom is published on this date in 1952 in the New Musical Express magazine. Al Martino has the first British number one song with Here In My Heart. 

Get Out Your History Books: The biggest song on the British chart is I Believe by Frankie Lane, which spent 18 weeks at #1 in 1953, and Elvis has the most number ones with 21, four more than the Beatles.

USA! USA! II: Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men spent a record 16 weeks at the top of the American Billboard Hot 100 in 1995-96 with One Sweet Day. 

Revenge Is Sweet: While only in the runner-up spot in their native country, the Beatles do have the most number ones in America with 20.

Thought For The Day: [Trees] endure rain, snow, wind and cold…they stand and they wait, the power of their growth apparently dormant. Theirs is the forbearance of being true to their inner natures…Neither bad fortune nor good fortune will alter what they are. We should be the same way. We may have great fortune or bad, but we should patiently bear both…We must always be true to our inner selves. – Deng Ming Dao, 365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: According the Settlement Act of 1701, all British monarchs are descended from Sophia, Electress of Hanover.

Today’s Stumper: What was the Beatles biggest selling single in the British charts? – Answer next time!

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Capsule book review! Capsule book review!

The Daily Dose/November 13, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Foremost Humorist

CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: Elizabeth The Queen: The Life of a Modern Monarch By Sally Bedell Smith: We’re not unabashed royalists here at your Daily Dose, but we have always found the British monarchy intriguing, much like we’ve always found the papacy intriguing, though we’ve never been Catholic.

We haven’t wasted a whole hell of a lot of time wondering why we’ve found those things interesting, though it might have something to do with the long, unbroken line through history both share, but the clap has a long, unbroken history, too, and we’re not particularly interested in that.

Elizabeth is not an easy life to chronicle because it is not all that exciting. Accessible but aloof in public,

Elizabeth has always gone about her duties with diligence and effort while avoiding doing anything at all that would do anything but reflect splendidly on the royal family.

She has done this magnificently in her 64 years on the throne, really only drawing scorn for being out of touch with what her subjects were feeling following Princess Diana’s death.

Go In Peace, Serve Yourself: One of our favorite aspects of the monarchy is how little choice monarchs have in how they spend their life. You’re born the heir apparent and you prepare for the job and then you inherit the job. In the case of Prince Charles, you spend an awfully long time preparing for the role.

One of our favorite insights into this was provided by Helena Bonham-Carter playing the Queen Mother in the film The Kings Speech when she referred to the royal life as indentured servitude.

That’s not too far off the mark. Elizabeth had very few options in her life. She could be queen or she could be queen, that was really about it. Now, being the British monarch isn’t too bad a gig. It comes with luxurious housing and a large staff and comes with several months off every year in castles and country estates. In exchange all you really need to do go tour a few hospitals and invest people as dukes and earls and whatnot. There are tougher jobs out there, but their life is not their own.

Back On Message: Though the real excitement over the years has been provided by her children, the book does share worthwhile insights into Elizabeth’s relationship with her prime ministers and how she has straddled – sometimes brilliantly – the fine line between ruling and governing.

(Here is The Daily Dose rating scale: 1- Excellent, the very best the medium can produce; 2 – Very good, well worth your time; 3- Good worth your time; 4 – All right, not completely without merit; 5 – Steaming pile, don’t bother 

Final Ranking: Good. There is nothing earth shattering here, but you didn’t expect there to be. However, we’ve always enjoyed reading about people who have or will live down the ages and Smith did her research well and produced an interesting and readable book.

DON’T WORRY, PRESIDENT TRUMP WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS: The Supreme Court declares that segregated busses in Alabama are illegal on this date in 1956. The suit came about following the arrest of Rosa Parks for not giving up her bus seat to a white man, and other incidents that led to the Montgomery bus boycott.

 Dry, Technical Matter: The decision came in the case Browder vs Gayle, which challenged Alabama’s segregated bus laws.

Really Dry, Technical Matter: Browder was Aurelia Browder, a Montgomery woman. Gayle was W.A. Gayle, the mayor of Montgomery.

 And Justice For All, Even Blacks: A United States District Court had overturned the law in June, but the soreheads in both state and city government appealed.

Even the Supreme Court upholding the District Court decision didn’t immediately desegregate Alabama buses. That didn’t happen until December 20, when federal marshals handed a written order to Mayor Gayle ordering Montgomery busses to be desegregated.

The boycott did its work well. Blacks carpooled and some taxis only charged the ten-cent bus fare for rides and Montgomery’s finances were so impacted city officials were reduced to trying to punish people for enabling this and even putting pressure on insurance companies to cancel policies of those giving blacks rides to and from work.

 Till Death Do You Part: Ray Mancini defeats South Korean fighter Kim Duk-Koo in a fight in Las Vegas for the world’s middleweight title on this date in 1982

It was one of the most brutal fights in a sport not lacking in them. Mancini was so beaten up he considered quitting and Kim was beaten so badly he died four days later. He had been taken to the hospital for emergency brain surgery and never recovered.

The fight sparked numerous rule changes, including the lengths of title being limited to twelve rounds and greater pre-fight screenings for fighters. 

Great Moments In World Terror: A coordinated series of shootings and explosions occurs in Paris on this date in 2015, resulting in 130 civilian deaths, the deaths of seven attackers and over 350 injured. The Islamic State, seeking revenge for French attacks in Syria and Iraq, claimed responsibility for the attacks.

Thought For The Day: …in the midst of an extreme situation, the wise are patient…Healing will follow upheaval. – Deng Ming Dao, 365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The University of Wisconsin-Whitewater (UW-Wherever) are the cheatingest bastards in NCAA Division III football.

Today’s Stumper: According the 1701 Act of Settlement, who are all British monarchs descended from? – Answer next time!

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Today in Trump and go Mount Union!

The Daily Dose/November 12, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Foremost Humorist

TODAY IN TRUMP: A day after assorted cities heralded his election with riots, President-elect Donald Trump got down to the business of really screwing up the country by name the number of big donors and cronies you would expect a man in his position to name to his transition team.

Since Trump himself has such a close connection with the legal system, it was not surprising to see New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on board, as two of his allies were recently convicted of public corruption in connection with some lane closures on the George Washington Bridge.

And In This Corner: Reince Priebus is likely to become Trump’s chief of staff. This isn’t any good, either. Priebus was the head of the same GOP that nominated Trump in the first place, so big picture he’s responsible for this hellhole.

Well, Aren’t We Just A Worry Wart Today: The destruction of America has begun, friends. The protests, some violent, were an exciting development in a country that has already become a shooting gallery. Years from now, when History begins sorting through the detritus of a collapsed United States of America, the election of Donald Trump may well be the line of demarcation used to mark the beginning of the American end.

The destruction will not happen overnight, but it will. Don’t doubt that. A country already mired in war and debt and a tearing social fabric will be split even further.

Don’t Blame Me: I voted for Libertarian Gary Johnson for president. Not only that, I put my money where my mouth was by running for Congress, but Gaylon For Congress could only muster five percent of the vote.

The Long Haul: It ain’t going to get any better, friends. Trump was a misfit of a private citizen, an embarrassment as a candidate and there is no reason to think he will be anything less than a disgrace as a president. We elected a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself.

And Justice For All: This week Trump lost a ruling in his lawsuit brought former students of Trump University who claim they were defrauded. This is consistent with reports that indicated Trump U was nothing more than a boiler room operation bilking people out of their money. The judge in the case advised both sides to settle.

Oh Yeah: Trump’s civil trial on statutory rape and other assorted charges begins next month.

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Official Daily Dose Fave the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team plays for its 25^th consecutive Ohio Athletic Conference championship today, facing John Carroll at home.

Breakdown Segment: John Carroll (8-1) is enjoying a fine season – by John Carroll standards, that is. They have won eight straight after an invigorating season-opening loss to Wisconsin-Oshkosh-By-Gosh. The Blue Streaks are looking for their fourth OAC title and their first since 1994. The winner of this game, Mount Union, of course, gets the OAC’s automatic berth in the NCAA Division III playoffs. The loser has to scrounge for an at-large bid.

More Breakdown Segment: This is the 36^th meeting between the two teams. This will surprise you, but Mount Union leads the series, 31-2-2, and have won 27 straight. The last time our Raiders didn’t win was in 1991 when the two teams tied 20-20 and John Carroll’s last win was in 1989.

Getting To Know You: John Carroll is a Catholic school near Cleveland. It was founded in 1886 by Jesuits who had fled Germany and its evil Lutherans. It was originally known as St Ignatius College, was renamed John Carroll in 1923 after the first Catholic archbishop of the United States and began admitting women in 1968.

FunFact: Mount Union is the defending NCAA Division III champions, defeating St Thomas in the 2015 Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl.

For The Record: Our Purple Raiders have won twelve NCAA Division III football titles, a record and have been runners-up seven times. Mount Union has won 24 straight OAC titles and 27 overall. New reader(s) mare probably scratching their heads and wondering what’s going on, but regular readers of this crap know this column has been chronicling our Purple Raiders for many years.

Oh Yeah: Mount Union has won 112 straight regular season games and are 234-9 since 2000.

Let’s Take A Look At The Rankings, Phil: Mount Union is ranked #1 in the latest D3Football.com poll, followed Mary Hardin-Baylor, the bastards from Wisconsin-Whitewater and St Thomas.

MORE HUT, HUT, HIKE: William Heffelfinger, commonly known as Pudge, becomes the first professional football player in America – or anywhere else, for that matter – accepting $500 to play for the Alleghany Athletic Club on this date in 1892.

The Post Game Show Is Brought To You By Old Style Beer: Heffelfinger earned his keep that day, scoring the game’s only points when we recovered a fumble and returned it for a touchdown as Alleghany defeated the Pittsburgh Athletic Club 4-0.

Dry, Technical Matter: $500 in 1892 was equal to about $13,000 in today’s dollars. Inflation has also hit football scoring, as a touchdown is now worth six points instead of four.

Great Moments In Serving The Motherland: Leon Trotsky is expelled from the Communist Party of the Soviet Union on this date in 1927, leaving Joseph Stalin in command. Earlier, he had lost his position in the party and in 1929 he was exiled to Mexico.

As a reward for his faithful service, Stalin had Trotsky murdered in 1940.

Thought For The Day: To accept with tranquility whatever happens is to put oneself beyond sorrow or joy – A Chinese maxim

Trivia Time: Who are the cheatingest bastards n NCAA Division III football? – Answer next time!

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The Cleveland Indians now hold the record for longest time since last winning the World Series at 68 years.

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