The Daily Dose/November 4, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Friends, today is the last day of Read Free Fortnight, an opportunity for you to enjoy the features and books we usually charge for with our compliments.

Read Free Fortnight followed Read Free Week which means y’all’ve freeloading for three weeks now. That’s all right; it’s been our pleasure having you. We hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know Sparrow and The Diary of a Nobody and the sheer hilarity of The Bottom Ten and our books.

Our plan was much like the plan of your local drug dealer: give away some free samples and get you hooked enough to fork over your Visa number later. Our goal was to get you in the habit of stopping by to see what’s shaking on a daily basis. We hope Sparrow and the Bottom Ten pollsters and the characters in our books have become friends and, perhaps, as real to you as they are to me.

There will be other read free segments later, and there will always be a lifetime subscription offer – as well as monthly and yearly offers, but the current $29.99 Lifetime Subscription offer will be gone forever come Monday.

So, please, consider joining the family. Click here to do just that.

Many thanks for reading,
Gaylon

Today at the Site
Sparrow meets Arnold, the new temporary GM at Hotel B on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Plus, he attacks the yard work with all the enthusiasm of someone about to go to the chair, but comes back strong, treating himself to dinner at the local diner.

I hate raking…

The Thought for the Day continues to enjoy some well deserved time off. Please enjoy this encore from October 2017, a quote from former Chief Justice John Marshall about listening well.

We must also listen to ourselves, paying attention to our inner voice, the instinct that shows us the path we should be taking in our lives.

On This Date
In 1737 – The Theater of San Carlo opens in Naples, Italy. Commissioned by King Charles III of Naples it opened with a performance of Domenico Sarro’s Achille in Sciro. It was partially destroyed by fire in 1819, added electricity in 1890 and survived the bombs of World War II, re-opening three weeks after the Liberation of Naples in 1943. Still in use, it remains the oldest opera house in the world still in continuous use.

In 2001 – The Arizona Diamondbacks get two runs in the bottom of the ninth inning to defeat the New York Yankees 3-2 in Game 7 of the World Series. It’s their first world title in only their fourth major league season, the shortest amount of time any expansion team took to win their first World Series. Along with Game 6 of the 2005 World Series, these are the latest games ever played in the major leagues.

In 1971 – I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. The song would spend four consecutive weeks at #1 and remains Nash’s only #1 hit. Despite being one of only five songs to spend at least four weeks at #1 in 1972, I Can See Clearly Now did not spend all that many weeks on the chart and was only the 47th biggest song of the year. A version of the song by Jimmy Cliff peaked at #19 on the Hot 100 in 1993.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Jerry Rice led the NFL in receptions twice, in 1996 and 1990.

Today’s Stumper
What other songs spent at least four weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 in 1972? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/November 3, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Official Memo: 
– Read Free Fortnight will end this coming Sunday, November 4th.
– We will resume charging for certain features (The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten, all our books and the archives) on Monday, November 5th.
– Our special $29.99 lifetime subscription offer will end on the 4th, too. Click here to take advantage of it. 

In The News
Tennessee executed Edmond Zagorski Thursday night, electrocuting him for killing two people in 1983. He was the first person executed in the electric chair in the US since 2013 and the first in Tennessee since 2007.

Tennessee is one of the few states that gives their condemned the choice of how they will die and Zagorski’s other option was lethal injection. Don’t kid yourself, though, these choices are given not out of consideration for the condemned, but for our benefit, existing only to make us feel better about the process, giving us the illusion that we have something to feel good about.

There is nothing for us to feel good about, though. The death penalty degrades everyone, the prosecutors who seek it, the juries obliged to consider it and those condemned to experience it.

The real illusion is that either method is humane. Zagorski had a choice between two doses of electricity being applied or having chemicals sent into his body. In the first method, the first jolt is designed to kill the brain and render the condemned unconscious. The second jolt is intended to kill whatever other vital organs survived the first. No one knows if this is what really happens.

In lethal injections, the first dose renders the condemned unconscious and the others stop the lungs and heart from working. It is not particularly reasonable to think either of these methods are painless.

We can do better than this. If we are hell-bent on killing criminals there are more humane ways available: we can shoot them at the base of skull or sever their heads or put them down as we do dogs, which seemed pretty humane when put our dog down. All of these are probably more humane than the methods offered Zagorski.

But we should be better than this, too. As we say regularly on the campaign trail, America has executed innocent people. To believe otherwise is folly and for this reason alone America must stop executing people.

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is the Libertarian nominee for Congress from Colorado’s 3rd District. He was their nominee for this seat in 2016 and for the United States Senate in 2014.

Today At The Site
A busy day for Sparrow on The Diary of a Nobody. First, he sleeps in, then heads into town and votes at the courthouse then reports for a full shift at the retailer. He also takes a call from a voter wondering what his position on blacks is. 

I don’t usually take unscreened calls, but it was from a town in the district and figuring it was a voter I answered…It was a voter, a woman who greeted with “Shalom” of all things and I thought crap, I’m about to be asked something I am unable to answer cogently, hardly unprecedented in this campaign…I said hi and she said uh, hi, and then asked what was my position on black people?

Today’s Thought for the Day is an encore from October of last year, a quote from the old Dragnet TV show about one of life’s great prizes. 

The work that we find to be worth doing doesn’t have to make news or make us rich, it merely has to be something that is important to us.

Rewrites on my forthcoming classic novel Criminals, Courtesans and Constables continue. Read the latest, including a character list, here.

On This Date
In 1903 – The Republic of Panama is established. Formerly a province of Colombia, Panama had declared its independence from Spain in 1821 and immediately joined the Colombian confederation. The United States immediately recognized the new country and two weeks later the two countries signed a treaty granting the US the right to build what became the Panama Canal. Colombia did not officially recognize Panama until 1909. 

In 1996 – Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers has three receptions for 45 yards and a touchdown, becoming the first player in NFL history to have 1,oo0 receptions. Rice would retire after the 2004 NFL season with 1,549 catches, still the all-time NFL record. The 49ers defeated the New Orleans Saints that day 24-17.  

In 2018 – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line are at #1 Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart for the 48th consecutive week with Meant to Be, the longest any single has spent at #1 on any Billboard chart. The song also went to #1 in Israel.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Before going into aviation, Howard Hughes was a successful filmmaker.

Today’s Stumper
How many times did Jerry Rice lead the NFL in receptions for a single season? 

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The Daily Dose/November 2, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, Read Free Fortnight will end this coming Sunday, November 4th. We will resume charging for certain features (The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten, all our books and the archives) on Monday, November 5th. Our special $29.99 lifetime subscription offer will end on the 4th, too. Click here to take advantage of it. 

For those of you have subscribed, many thanks. For those of you haven’t, we hope you’ve gotten into the habit of reading and will want to join the family. 

In The News
After nine-and-a-half years the Kepler Space Telescope has rolled over and called it a day, NASA reporting this week that it ran out of the fuel required to maneuver and search the sky for the exo-planets it was charged with discovering.

The importance of the Kepler Space Telescope on mankind’s general fund of knowledge cannot be underestimated. Its mandate was to find planets orbiting other stars and it did that in spades, discovering 2,662 stars in its decade searching the heavens. Some of these are rocky and Earth-sized and in what we consider to be the “habitable zone”, the only area where we – probably foolishly – believe life can exist.

And these are just what Kepler could find. Its field of view was about one-quarter of one percent of the sky which, put another way, means about 400 Kepler would be required to see the entire sky. So the number of other planets that 400 Keplers could find probably numbers near a million.

But Kepler was limited to what it could see. There are, according to some estimates, 300 billion stars in our Milky Way galaxy alone and there are billions of galaxies and countless stars so the number of planets out there is probably closer to countless than countable.

Which brings us to the one question Kepler couldn’t answer, one of only a few questions that really matter:

Do any of these planets have life? 

Hell, we don’t know, either. It’s a question we simultaneously want to be answered and don’t want to be answered. Personally, we’ve never come to a conclusion. On the one hand, we don’t think it’s reasonable to think we’re the only ones out there. The universe is too vast. On the other hand, the circumstances required to maintain human life are so precise – few degrees either way and it is either too cold or too hot for humans to make a go of it here on Earth – that maybe we are the only ones. Maybe in another galaxy somewhere another form of life is flourishing under circumstances we cannot even imagine. Whoever said either concept was almost beyond comprehension was right.

Kepler, named for German scientist Johannes Kepler, will remain in orbit around the sun, it’s work done. Someday, when we know for sure if other planets have life, others will probably look back on Kepler as a building block that made their knowledge possible.

Today At The Site
Sparrow helps the wife pack for a weekend conference she’s attending then, when she’s gone, immediately scoots to the next county to buy a new wallet have lunch on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody.

This is par for the course…What was unusual is she didn’t pack enough for a long voyage, everything fit in the suitcase, utterly unprecedented for a weekend trip because I’ve seen her pack more stuff going to work…

King Frederick William I of Prussia has The Thought for the Day, an encore from November of last year.

Today’s Thought comes from a memorandum the king wrote when he found himself between a rock and a hard place: obliged to make a treaty with King George I of England, who was hell-bent on causing mischief for Russian Tsar Peter, whom William Frederick had treaties of friendship with.

On This Date
In 1947 – The Hughes H-4 Hercules, a flying boat developed by Howard Hughes and commonly known as the Spruce Goose, makes its only flight, a 70-second, one-mile flight off the coast of Long Beach, California. Hughes and co-pilot Dave Grant were at the controls, and the crew included two flight engineers, 16 mechanics and two other crewmen, in addition to seven reporters and seven others from the aircraft industry. The flying boat had been commissioned by the US government to provide long-range troop and materiel transport during World War II, but it wasn’t finished in time. Despite never flying again, Hughes maintained a crew of 300 to keep the craft in flying condition. This number was reduced to 50 in 1960 and the crew was disbanded after Hughes died in 1975. Its wingspan of 320 feet, eleven inches is still the longest of any craft ever flown.

In 2016 – The Chicago Cubs defeat the Cleveland Indians 8-7 in ten innings to win Game 7 of the World Series, winning the series four games to three. It is the Cubs first World Series victory since 1908 and their first World Series appearance since 1945. The Cubs had also lost the World Series in 1938, 1935, 1932, 1929, 1918 and 1910.

In 1985 – Part-Time Lover by Stevie Wonder is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for its only week, the ninth of ten #1s for Wonder on the Hot 100. Part-Time Lover was also the 17th of 19 #1s for Wonder on Billboard’s R&B chart, spending six weeks at the top. The song also went to #1 on Billboard’s Dance and Adult Contemporary charts, making Wonder the first act to top four Billboard charts with the same song.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Elton John’s 1975 #1 songs Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and Philadelphia Freedom bracketed a stretch of 14 consecutive #1 songs that spent one week at #1, still an all-time Hot 100 record.

Today’s Stumper
Before Howard Hughes went into aviation, what industry was he a success in?

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The Daily Dose/November 1, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, Read Free Fortnight will end this coming Sunday, November 4th. We will resume charging for certain features (The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten, all our books and the archives) on Monday, November 5th. Our special $29.99 lifetime subscription offer will end on the 4th, too. Click here to take advantage of it. 

For those of you have subscribed, many thanks. For those of you haven’t, we hope you’ve gotten into the habit of reading and will want to join the family. 

In The News
We haven’t checked in with the migrant caravan making its way through Mexico, or America’s response to it, for a few days, so let’s dive right in with the latest.

There are four caravans now. Two are in Mexico, the first is about 900 miles from the closest US port of entry and the second invaded Mexico Monday, about 250 miles behind the first. Two others are working their way their way through Central America towards Mexico. The first caravan rested Wednesday and are hoping for some help, with one man stating:

We are waiting to see if they are going to help us out with buses, to continue the trip…

Who “they” are was not specified. Like a lot of people in desperate straights, they have passed off responsibility for their plight to others, something we’ve noticed happens from time to time. And their plight is desperate. Their homeland is in disarray and, really, they do not have much of a prospect of a future anywhere else. Too bad. We genuinely hope they are given the chance to make a go of it here in America because this country was built on the backs of migrants.

That is unlikely to happen, though. President Trump didn’t dispatch US troops to the border to be their welcoming committee. This is merely another attempt for Trump to draw attention to himself and work up the emotions of those who got him elected because the midterm elections are next week. Sending troops to the border is silly because it is not reasonable to think the migrants are going to attempt to cross the border en masse. Even if they do, the migrants are not armed, nor do they appear to be particularly dangerous. A well-disciplined pack of ROTC cadets could probably handle them.

There is danger in this situation. However, the danger is not people wanting to come to America. They’ve been doing that for centuries. It is not even our government’s knee-jerk reaction or its pandering to the lowest common denominator before an election. That’s been happening for centuries, too.

No, the danger is you and me continuing to tolerate being pandered to. Our country will continue to be a partisan, bickering mess, as long we allow it to be.

Today At The Site
Sparrow gets the snow tires put on The Wife’s car on today’s episode of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he is too lazy to leave the house to drive to the next county for lunch at the Mexican joint.

The Thought for the Day continues its vacation, so please enjoy this one from September. It’s from Charle Kuralt.

On This Date
In 1800 – President of the United States John Adams moves into the White House, though it was still far from finished and the yard was mainly weeds.  Defeated for reelection, Adams only lived there a few months before Thomas Jefferson moved in. Jefferson being Jefferson, he immediately started in making changes and additions, including the colonnades that now connect the White House with the east and west wings. At the time, however, their purpose was to hide stables and storage areas. The White House was gutted and the interior rebuilt during the Truman Administration.

In 1964 – Jim Brown of the Cleveland Browns rushes for 149 yards in a 30-17 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, becoming the first player in NFL history to rush for more than 10,000 yards. Brown would retire after the 1965 season with 12,312 yards, still good for eleventh on the all-time list, though his average of 5.2 yards per carry remains the best in league history.

In 1975 – Elton John is at #1 for the fifth time on Billboard’s Hot 100 with Island Girl. The song would spend three weeks at #1 and to date John has had seven #1s on the Hot 100. It was John’s third #1 of 1975, after Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and Philadelphia Freedom. Island Girl was written by John and his longtime collaborator Bernie Taupin and his backing vocals on the song are credited to Ann Orson.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Rochester Royals are still in the NBA. After stops in Cincinnati and Kansas City/Omaha, they are now the Sacramento Kings. The Washington Capitols folded in 1951.

Today’s Stumper
Elton John’s 1975 #1 songs Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and Philadelphia Freedom bracketed a stretch where a record number of songs spent only one week at #1. How many songs make up this record?

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The Daily Dose/October 31, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, Read Free Fortnight will end this coming Sunday, November 4th. We will resume charging for certain features (The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten, all our books and the archives) on Monday, November 5th. Our special $29.99 lifetime subscription offer will end on the 4th, too. Click here to take advantage of it. 

For those of you have subscribed, many thanks. For those of you haven’t, we hope you’ve gotten into the habit of reading and will want to join the family. 

In The News
President Trump’s ignorance and arrogance is no longer a surprise, of course. It’s been on display daily since he announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination and his blather about an executive order denying US citizenship to everyone born in America is merely the latest example.

He is ignorant because even a middle school civics buff knows birthright citizenship is etched into the Constitution, the Fourteenth Amendment being very clear on the matter stating, Section 1 stating, in part:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States…

He is arrogant, of course, because he thinks he can unilaterally change the Constitution. He can’t, any more than your butcher can. Only Congress and/or the several states can change, or even toss, the Constitution. In fact, the amendment process does not include the president at all.

What is interesting about Trump is how few in the GOP stand up to him. Vice President Mike Pence, still grateful to have ridden Trump’s coattails to One Observatory Circle, confirmed he is on board with this, though Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, noticeably quiet so far during this entire GOP imbroglio, did his duty and came out publicly against an executive order, bravely citing the Constitution.

The GOP is blowing a wonderful opportunity to govern because of Trump’s braggadocio and Congress’ utter inability and unwillingness to stand up to him.Too bad, because a president like Trump could have been put to use as a figurehead and cheerleader while Congress did the grunt work, but no, our country is paralyzed right now because of the GOP and, more than anything our tolerance of fractured, partisan and bickering government.

Today At The Site
This will surprise you, but Sparrow catches up on his rest on today’s thrilling edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Sparrow sells a rooster Halloween costume and tells the mom who bought it for her son that he can’t ever remember dressing up like poultry for Halloween.

…I did buy some life insurance for The Wife, something I probably should have done years ago…It’s a good size policy, too, more than enough to pay off The Shire with a lot left over, even if I croak tomorrow.

The top two spots remained unchanged, as San Francisco and the New York Giants remain on top in The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 10. Jacksonville returns to the survey, while Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere are keeping a wary eye on Cleveland.

7. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-5; lost to Philadelphia 24-18) – They’re back!!!…Former B-10 medal stand staple returns to survey with latest four (4)-game skid…Jaguars enjoying so much dissension owner Shad Khan again threatening beheadings if Jaguars don’t claim long-awaited first B-10 title….Next Loss: at Indianapolis

Ans in case you missed it yesterday, rewrites on my forthcoming classic novel Criminals, Courtesans and Constables have resumed. Click here for an update, including a character list.

On This Date
In 2011 – The world’s population is estimated to have reached 7 billion people, a symbolic date the United Nations arrived at after interpolating data from assorted estimates from the previous five years. It’s estimated that Earth had reached 1 billion people in 1804 and currently, the world’s population is thought to be 7.5 billion and is estimated to reach 8 billion in 2027.

In 1950 – Earl Lloyd of the Washington Capitol becomes the first black to play in the NBA, scoring six points in a 78-70 loss to the Rochester Royals. Lloyd played nine seasons in the NBA, finishing with averages of 8.4 points and 6.4 rebounds per game.

In 1960 – The Drifters are at #1 for the only time on the Billboard Hot 100 with Save the Last Dance for Me. It was the second of three non-consecutive weeks at #1 for the song and was the group’s fifth and final #1 on Billboard’s R&B chart. The song also charted twice on the Country chart, with versions by Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton both reaching the Top 10.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Muhammad Ali was the heavyweight champion of the world three times, from 1964-70, 1974-78 and 1978-79.

Today’s Stumper
Are the Washington Capitols and the Rochester Royals still in the NBA? – Answer next time!

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