The Daily Dose/Wednesday, August 22, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 22, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill this week that will form a commission to investigate charges of misconduct by county prosecutors in the state.
It will be first such commission in the country and the District Attorneys Association of the State of New York has shown their support by not only promising the obligatory lawsuit but also announcing they will decline their appointments to the commission, which would render the commission inoperable.
Bravo. There should be 49 more of these commissions. Every state should have one, and let’s throw in one for the federal government, too. Actually, commissions like these should be completely unnecessary in a nation conceived in liberty, but it’s not. This nation regularly convicts the innocent. Anyone who tries to tell you differently is either deluding themselves, trying to delude you or, as likely as not, both.
Today At The Site
On today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, Sparrow has a guy try to buy a case of soda with his food stamp card so he can return it for cash so he can by his boy school supplies. Also, Ed – Ed! – makes the closing pages.
Medal of Honor recipient, Nobel Peace Prize laureate and former President of the United States Theodore Roosevelt has The Thought for the Day, a quote about one of life’s great prizes: the opportunity to work hard at work worth doing.
On This Date
In 1910 – Japan annexes Korea when the two nations sign the Japan-Korea Treaty of 1910. Korea, on the Asian mainland a bit west of the islands that form Japan, would remain under Japanese rule until the end of World War II.
In 1917 – Carson Bigbee of the Pittsburgh Pirates becomes the first major league player to have 11 at-bats in a major league game in a 6-5, 22-inning win over the Brooklyn Dodgers, then known as the Robins. Bigbee had six hits and the record has been equaled several times.
1970 – Sonny James is at #1 on the Billboard Hot Country Singles chart for the third of four weeks with Don’t Keep Me Hanging On. It was the 12th consecutive #1 single on the country chart for James, a streak that wouldn’t end until he had 16 consecutive #1 songs, an all-time record for any Billboard chart and James finished his career with 26 #1 country songs.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa on a panel of poplar wood.
Today’s Stumper
How many innocent men have been released from death row in America? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.
The Thought for the Day/Theodore Roosevelt
The greatest chance that can come to man or woman is the chance to do something worth doing…The days that are happy are the hard days where effort is crowned at the end.
Theodore Roosevelt
6/1/1906
Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) was an American statesman and writer, the 25th president of the United States, serving from William McKinley’s assassination in 1901 until the end of his second term in 1909. Roosevelt overcame a sickly and asthmatic youth to lead an active life as an adult and was long a proponent of a vigorous life, both physically and intellectually. Roosevelt was awarded the Medal of Honor in 2001 for actions as a lieutenant colonel on San Juan Hill in 1898, the only president of the United States to be so honored, and in 1906 he earned the Nobel Peace Prize and Roosevelt remains one of our country’s most decorated individuals. TR liked to talk about effort and achievement in his speeches and today’s Thought has appeared in a variety of contexts in assorted Roosevelt speeches over his career.
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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, August 21, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 21, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
Recently in this feature, we talked about how the GOP, which hasn’t produced a decent elected president since Eisenhower, should go away. The Catholic Church should do that, too.
This past Sunday marked the first time Catholics went to church since last week’s report by a Pennsylvania grand jury that several hundred priests molested over one thousand children – boys and girls – since 1940.
Priests, some whom may well taken more than a passing interest in the report, provided parishioners with the succor the church has provided in times of trial for centuries. Good for them, that is what church’s do, and do rather well, actually.
But nothing from the pulpit addresses the salient point. Forget about why a supreme being would allow this to happen in the first place: why are adherents still allowing this to happen? Why are they still patronizing and giving money to this institution? Why haven’t believers fled in droves? Because it is not reasonable to believe this has not been going on for centuries.
Give the Catholic Church credit, they have advanced for centuries in spite of obstacles like plagues, Darwin and Copernicus and will probably continue to advance in the midst of the ruins they have caused. But they should join the GOP on History’s scrap heap.
Today At The Site
Sparrow discusses the scourge of guests who show up early for breakfast on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, as well as Adam’s usually futile attempts to foil. Also, he discusses the merits of store brands vs leading national brands at the retailer with Dave, plus, there’s the latest from the Sleep Log.
Robert B Parker, the author of the Spenser series of mystery stories, has The Thought for the Day, a quote about being open to finding the truth instead of thinking you know it in advance.
And after 218 days it is a pleasure to welcome back The Bottom Ten. For the second straight year, we open with The Bottom Ten/Preseason Q&A, a great way to limber up for the nonsense that will follow. Like last season, the Bottom Ten year will conclude with the second annual Tenny Awards, the end-of-season recap of the very worst of 2018.
On This Date
In 1911 – The Mona Lisa, a painting by Leonardo da Vinci, is stolen from the Louvre museum in Paris by an Italian employee named Vincenzo Peruggia. Peruggia had entered the museum at 7am, walked into the room where it was kept, removed it and hid in a bathroom. He then removed the protective casing and frame, wrapped his smock around the painting and left the building. Peruggia kept the painting at his Paris apartment for two years before moving with it to Italy, where he was arrested in 1913. He served six months in prison for the theft. Though now one of the planet’s best-known artworks, the Mona Lisa was not particularly well known outside of the art world – where it was highly regarded – at the time of the theft.
In 1984 – Victoria Roche becomes the first girl to play in the Little League World Series. Born in South Korea and adopted by British parents, she played for the European champion from Brussels, Belgium. An eight-team tournament back then, Canada defeated Europe that day 3-0 to advance to the semifinals. To date, 18 girls have played in the Little League World Series.
In 1965 – Sonny and Cher are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three weeks with I Got You Babe. It was their first chart single, their only #1 and one of five songs that reached the Top 1o. I Got You Babe also went to #1 in Great Britain and Canada.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Bartolo Colon of the New York Mets, 42 in 2016, is the oldest person to hit his first major league home run.
Today’s Stumper
On what surface did Leonardo da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.
The Bottom Ten/Preseason Q&A
The Bottom Ten/Preseason Q&A
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
With college football again starting a week earlier than normal, as if there is a normal in major division American college football – we are pleased to again present kick things off with this crap.
Your Bottom Ten pollsters are “pretty sure” 2017 was “like, you know, pretty historic and stuff” with both the Cleveland Browns and UTEP Miners running the table to claim Bottom Ten titles and everyone at Bottom Ten headquarters is busy running around rummaging through recruiting reports and polishing up the hardware that will be awarded throughout the year.
You Know You Want To
The Thought for the Day/Robert B Parker
You don’t have much hope of getting the truth if you think you know in advance what the truth ought to be.
Robert B. Parker
Pale Kings and Princes
Robert B Parker (1932-2010) was an American mystery writer primarily known for the Spenser series of mysteries, though he wrote other things, too. We go a long way back with Spenser, though it wasn’t always easy because there was a period earlier this century when it appeared he was writing merely to fulfill a contract. Still, though, Parker offers a lesson for any writer: characters, characters, characters, because even when the stories were not very good, it was always nice visiting Spenser, Susan, Hawk and whatever consortium of friends, cops and thugs he had called in for help. Spenser books are funny and usually thoughtful, key because they are not the most technically brilliant mysteries you will ever read. Spenser takes a case, dives in, usually whining about how little he knows, people try to kill and he solves the case, a procedure that may, or may not, involve the police.
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The Daily Dose/Monday, August 20, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 20, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
One thing we would like to point out about the NFL players who kneel or raise a fist or face the other way during the national anthem none of it is in protest of our servicemen and women. They protesting racial injustice in this country. They are protesting white cops who have shot, and will probably continue to shoot, black men.
This is not, of course, what President Trump would have you believe. He prefers to issue strong invective and rhetoric saying NFL players are ungrateful bastards who should shut up and play football and stop protesting the military and police. They’re not, of course. This is merely another example of whites trying to stuff blacks into whatever slots whites find convenient.
There is a lot to protest in this country and we’re protesting by running for Congress. The protests by NFL players are good because they are prominent men using the only platform available to them to make a statement.
Today At The Site
The new breakfast prep area at the hotel is almost done on today’s exciting edition of The Diary of a Nobody. He also handles no less than three phone calls during a five minute stretch after 3am. In other news, Sparrow has gone back to drinking the donut shop knockoff coffee at home.
Horace, a poet from the Roman Empire who wrote in Latin, has The Thought for the Day, a quote about how getting started is often the biggest test.
On This Date
In 1940 – Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky is beaten with an ice axe in Mexico City, where he had been living in exile. His assassin, Jaime Ramon Mercader, was beaten by Trotsky’s guards, who were in another room, and he would spend 20 years in prison for the murder. After his release, he fled to Cuba and spent the rest of his life living there and in the Soviet Union.
In 1945 – Tommy Brown of the Brooklyn Dodgers hits his first major league home run as the Dodgers lose to the Pittsburgh Pirates 11-1. Brown was 17 years, 8 months and 14 days old at the time, and he remains the youngest player to hit a home run in a major league game. The Brooklyn native had debuted with the Dodgers the previous season, shortly after his graduation from high school.
In 1977 – The Emotions move up two notches to the #1 position on the Billboard Hot 100 with Best of My Love. It would spend five weeks at #1 and was Billboard’s third biggest song of 1977. It would be the Emotion’s only #1 song and was their second of three Top 40 hits.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Beatles had 17 #1 songs in Great Britain.
Today’s Stumper
Who is oldest person to hit his first major league home run? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.
The Thought for the Day/Horace
He is half done who has already begun.
Horace
Horace (65 BC-8 BC) was a poet who lived in the Roman Empire, whom History remembers as the one who gave us the famous quote carpe diem which literally translated means ‘pluck the day’ in Latin and not ‘sieze the day’ and we are aware pointing out things like this might explain why we don’t get invited to many parties. Horace was the son of a freed slave who moved his family to Rome after being freed and worked hard to provide a good life for his family, including a substantial education for his son. Horace served in Brutus’ army after Julius Caesar was killed and when he came back following defeat he found his father’s estate confiscated, with no sign of his father. Horace is viewed by many as one of the best poets of the era and History records he died of a sudden illness.
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