The 2018 Bottom Ten
Friends, it’s almost that time. The first edition of The Bottom Ten will move next Tuesday, August 21 with the exciting The Bottom Ten/Preseason Q&A. The Week 1 college and pro surveys will move the following week, on Tuesday and Wednesday, like in years past.
Now, listen up: beginning with Week 2 The Bottom Ten will require a subscription to read. The preseason Q&A will run with our compliments, and the Week 1 surveys will be included in our exciting Read Free Week, but after that, you cheapskates will be required to fork over for it.
The ESPNCup and the Dan Henning Trophy issued to the NCAA and NFL Bottom Ten champions will be back, of course, as will the Continental Cup, the Jim Hannifan Medallion, the Tostitos Plaque and more.
There are two parts of the year: the period when we are producing The Bottom Ten and the time when we are not. Only the first is worth a damn.
See you next week.
Cordially,
Gaylon and The Bottom Ten Pollsters
The Daily Dose/Sunday, August 19, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 19, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
One of the benefits of having your own column is you can write whatever the hell you want. Of course, you want to attract what we in the trade call ‘readers’, but an item from yesterday intrigues us, so hold on to your hats.
At the 1904 St Louis Olympics, American William Mertz became the first person to win five medals at an Olympiad without winning a gold medal. (The feat was matched in 1992 by another American gymnast, Shannon Miller.) He won a silver and three bronze medals in gymnastics and bronze in track and field. These are, of course, two completely different disciplines and we got curious.
Well, it turns out the track event was a triathlon competition, though it bore no resemblance to the triathlons of today. In St Louis the triathlon consisted of the long jump, the shot put and the 100-yard dash and was contested by 110 Americans, seven Germans and a wayward Swiss who happened to be wandering by the stadium. Despite the fact it was contested only by gymnasts and was used to determine scores for the all-around gymnastics event, the IOC lists the event in the track and field results.
Now you know. You’re welcome.
Today At The Site
Sparrow is in hot water on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody when some dolt misplaces the serving trays at Hotel A, causing the bacon and eggs for the complimentary breakfast to be set out late. At the retailer, two customers whine about receiving their refunds in the form of gift cards, which a lot of people call store credit, even though no credit is issued.
Once again, Louis L’Amour has The Thought for the Day. The quote is from his biography Education of a Wandering Man and talks about the sense he got that a writer of a book he was reading was thoroughly enjoying himself, and we discuss how we can thoroughly enjoy ourselves, too.
On This Date
In 1960 – Francis Gary Powers, a CIA pilot shot down over the Soviet Union in May, is sentenced by the Soviets to ten years imprisonment because no one believed the official US claim that Powers was flying a weather plane. Powers would be released in 1962 as part of an exchange of spies with the Soviets.
In 1951 – Eddie Gaedel of the St Louis Browns makes his only major league appearance, pinch-hitting for Frank Saucier in the bottom of the first inning in the second game of a doubleheader at Sportsman’s Park. Gaedel walked and was immediately replaced by pinch-runner Jim Delsing. At three feet, seven inches, Gaedel remains the only midget to appear in a major league game.
In 1967 – The Beatles are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the 14th time with All You Need Is Love. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, Canada, Germany, Austria, Australia, Ireland, the Netherlands, Norway and Sweden. Though not originally released on an album, the song would eventually be released on both the Magical Mystery Tour album and Yellow Submarine soundtrack.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The last state to ratify the Nineteenth Amendment, passed in 1920, was Mississippi in 1984. It had rejected it in 1920.
Today’s Stumper
How many #1 songs did the Beatles have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.
The Thought for the Day/Louis L’Amour
I loved…above all the sense the author himself was having a wonderful time, writing something he thoroughly enjoyed.
Louis L’Amour
Education of a Wandering Man
We will try to avoid monopolizing the entire week with Louis L’Amour (1908-88) quotes, but regular readers of this feature know spending a couple-three days with one writer is hardly unprecedented. Education of a Wandering Man was our introduction to Louis L’Amour, the book being given to us by Mom many years ago. We resisted reading it at first because we dismissed Louis as a hack writer of drug store westerns, which shows what we know. If you are a L’Amour fan and have not read Education of a Wandering Man you might consider it and any serious reader will probably like it, too, because it offers numerous insights into both L’Amour and our human experience.
Click Here For More Thoughtful Stuff
The Daily Dose/Saturday, August 18, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 18, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
Why the Republican Party is still around is beyond me. It has not produced a decent elected president since Eisenhower. Let’s take a look, and we are mindful that Gerald Ford was not elected and did well under circumstances the Son of Man would have found challenging.
Nixon was a crook. Reagan had his talents, but he was the most managed president in history, a precedent still being felt. The first President Bush tried, but couldn’t earn a second term. His son lied to get us into war. President Trump is as embarrassing a president as he was a candidate and his only real talent is drawing attention to himself.
Blessed with control of both Congress and the White House, the GOP has shown themselves utterly unable to govern, their only substantive act a tax cut that meant well but didn’t go half far as it could have. A business presenting this litany of failure to the public would have been out of business long ago.
The GOP is not doing anyone any good. They should just go away.
Today At The Site
A busy day for Sparrow on The Diary of a Nobody, as he not only does the lawn but Sparrow For Congress goes live, too. Sparrow also has news from the yard, including the latest from the rhubarb plant and an exciting new wasp’s nest. Or maybe it’s a hornet’s nest. Sparrow, of course, isn’t entirely sure.
Louis L’Amour, a regular contributor, has The Thought for the Day. Today’s passage is from his novel The Lonesome Gods and discusses us humans facing ourselves every day.
On This Date
In 1920 – The Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, granting women the right to vote, becomes law when Tennessee becomes the 36th state to ratify it. The amendment had been first proposed in Congress in 1878, though it was not sent to the several states for ratification until June 1919.
In 1973 – Henry Aaron of the Atlanta Braves homers in the 8th inning of a 3-1 victory over the Montreal Expos, his 1,378th extra-base hit, breaking the major league (ML) and National League (NL) records that had been held by Stan Musial. Aaron would retire with 1,477 extra-base hits, still the ML record and he still holds the NL record with 1,429 extra-base hits.
In 1973 -Diana Ross is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with Touch Me in the Morning, its only week at the top. It was her second #1 hit as a solo act, and her 14th time at #1, counting her 12 #1s with the Supremes. To date, Ross has had six #1 solo hits.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The most medals won at one Olympics without winning a gold medal is five. It’s been done twice, first by American William Merz, who won a silver medal and three bronze medals in gymnastics and a bronze medal in track and field in St Louis in 1904. In 1992 American gymnast Shannon Miller won two silver medals and three bronze medals.
Today’s Stumper
Which was the last state to ratify the Nineteenth Amendment? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
The Thought for the Day/Louis L’Amour
Man must deal with himself. It is his reality he must face each morning when he rises. He must be, he must move, he must create.
Louis L’Amour
The Lonesome Gods
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Louis L’Amour (1908-88) in this feature, but long-time readers know he shows up here regularly. Though the critic who said L’Amour might well have benefited from a freshman composition class had a point, L’Amour didn’t have a freshman composition class to attend. He led a wandering, sometimes hardscrabble life until he started selling books, and he was a completely self-taught writer. Yes, this resulted in stories featuring characters depending on more luck – both good and bad – than a more classically trained writer might have, but it also resulted in writing that produces insights into our human experience that for our money are topped only by Gore Vidal.
Click Here For More
The Daily Dose/Friday, August 17, 2018
The Daily Dose/August 17, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
And here we go:
In The News
You know Mr President, if you need a Soviet-era military parade to show the world how big your schlong is, you can order one. You will look childish and America will look silly, but you’re the commander-in-chief of the armed forces and if you decree that all hands drop and give you 20 at high noon Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), you know what? All hands are going to drop and give you 20 at high noon GMT. You’re the boss, and if you want a parade, they will put on a parade for you, although apparently now it won’t happen until 2019.
But you know what? You’ve got some bank, pay for it yourself. The new $93 million price tag is abhorrent and insulting. Instead of spending it on Veteran’s Day revels, why don’t you spend it on the thousands of veterans who right now are not getting the care they need and earned.
Today At The Site
Sparrow and The Wife have their first day off at home together in quite a while on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. And the day is just packed! Sparrow has the latest from the dentist, plus they cleaned the living room which, of course, includes Sparrow’s office, plus they go to the hot springs way out in the mountains and the excitement is concluded with pork chops for dinner.
The Thought for the Day returns with a quote from Dr David Myers, a nice quote about taking the stairs to the top instead of an elevator.
On This Date
In 1915 – Leo Frank is lynched by a mob in Marietta, Georgia, one day after being kidnapped from prison. Two years earlier, Frank had been convicted of murdering a 13-year-old girl and sentenced to death. Citing new evidence, his sentence had been commuted to life in prison, a decision that did not go over well with local citizens. Later, photographs of the lynching were sold as postcards in the area for 25 cents, about $6 in today’s money, and Frank was posthumously pardoned for the murder for in 1986.
In 2008 – American swimmer Michael Phelps becomes the first person to win eight gold medals at one Olympiad, as part of the 4×100 meter medley team at the Beijing Games. The record had been held by American Mark Spitz, who had won seven gold medals at the 1972 Munich Games.
In 1963 – Little Stevie Wonder is at #1 for the second of three weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 with Fingertips Pt 2. The song was originally an instrumental, with the lyrics improvised by Wonder, who was then 13. The song was the first live recording to hit #1 on the Hot 100, and Wonder remains the youngest solo act to hit #1.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Albert “Happy” Chandler was the Kentucky governor who was later commissioner of baseball.
Today’s Stumper
What athlete has won the most medals at an Olympics without winning a gold medal? – Answer next time!
Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!
The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.
Click here to read previews of both!
The Thought for the Day – Dr David Myers
If you’re headed for the top, the pleasure of going by stairway will outlast that of a fast elevator ride.
Dr. David Myers
Usually, we like to offer some biographical information on the source for the day’s Thought, but we are unable to do so in this instance because we did not note the book we stole this passage from. Also, based in its position in our quotebook, whatever book it was in was read prior to June 1995 so we can forget about having it at the top of our head. We did some research but there’s no shortage of Dr Myerses that write books. We looked at the titles of some of them, but nothing rang a bell. So the best we can offer is one Dr David Myers wrote a passage that we thought worth writing down.
You Know What To Do