Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Monday, March 26
Made the first Sparrow For Congress video today…Now, I know from past campaigns that no one gets really too worked up about anything until after Labor Day, but this country is so fractured and divided right now there is no reason to wait to try and make some noise, especially in this day and age when Facebook or Twitter can make you famous overnight…And especially here in District 3, where a full one-third of voters are independents and who, almost by definition, are looking for something other than the status quo.

Today’s video triumphantly heralded my nomination this past weekend, plus I came up with an inspired line about how the time has come for the 3rd District to show the state and the nation they are demanding better this Election Day and what better way to demand better than to send ol’ Sparrow to Congress…I’m keeping them short, too, ideally less than a minute and never anymore than 90 seconds because attention spans aren’t all that long anymore.

The Sparrow For Congress website is up and running, too…Completely redone because the goddamned app I used on my desktop is no longer being supported by its developer…I actually noticed this a couple-three months ago and it was a modest pain in the neck, but I eventually went with a pretty common website provider…I selected a theme and added my content and it was actually pretty intuitive once I got the hang of it.

Sparrow For Congress videos would probably go over better if I wasn’t so damned unphotogenic…Now, I didn’t say ugly…I’m pretty easy on the eyes…But I look lousy on camera.

Went back to work at the hotel tonight…I’ve been working the night audit at a small hotel in town for over a year…It is a lot fewer headaches than the timeshare some of you might recall I worked at and there isn’t a whole lot of work to do, so I have a lot of time to write, which I’ve been doing a lot more of lately…Anyway, the computer problems that existed before I left for the convention have yet to be fixed!!!…I am not making that up!!!..Janis said the new computer will be here tomorrow, but you can believe that if you want.

As it is, with the main computer down we are doing our work on computer #2, which is off to the side of the front desk which made for a tedious night’s work because some of the files that were on Computer 1 aren’t on Computer 2…Plus, I have to scan some things and on C-2 I can only scan one page at a time and on C-1 you can scan the whole batch…Also, the printer chose tonight to have a paper jam every five goddamn minutes tho I brilliantly solved this problem by switching from the paper in the blue package to the paper in the green package…I am not making that up!!!…That actually solved the problem…There were no more paper jams after that!

Also, Dave the GM left last week…He had been scheduled to leave for a while, but I think the hotel he was going to transfer to was sold or something…I’m not entirely sure, and while I like Dave, he’s pretty low key and funny, like me, I didn’t want to pry.

I am still working at the retailer, too…I suppose it is a lot of hours each week, but I don’t work too hard and I take care to get my rest, so I am seldom tired.

Got a workout in, too, today…I ditched my membership at the gym in town because it was tough to get there regularly and signed up for the gym here in our small town…It’s a pretty good gym, but I don’t get in there all that regularly either, but I got in there today…I didn’t get Workout of the Year in though, but after eating like an oink-oink this past weekend I wasn’t entitled to Workout of the Year.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, March 25
Earned the Minor Party’s nomination for the United States Congress (again) today…Longtime readers of this crap will recall I was their United States Senate nominee in 2014 and in 2016 I tried for their US Senate nomination again but so did Lily, who grew in under Chairman Mao in Communist China. That was bad for ol’ Sparrow because people love stories like that and we were headed for a primary election when I said eff this noise, I might lose a primary and be off the ballot completely and caved in and accepted the House of Representatives nomination for District 3.

So this will be my third time on the ballot and it’s good to be back…I believe there is a place for me to do some good for our country and I’ve gone from a complete novitiate to someone with almost a modest clue about what to do…Throw in the fact this country is a complete fiasco right now, that virtually every voter is pissed and disillusioned and there is no reason Sparrow For Congress cannot make some noise this year.

The Minor Party still has trouble rustling up candidates so, like virtually every other candidate I was nominated by acclamation….What’s almost interesting is when the guy put the spreadsheet of candidates up on the overhead screens my name was not listed for District 3, one Jennifer Tew’s name was listed…Who the hell is Jennifer Tew, I wondered???…I wasn’t particularly worried because my theory is what is meant to happen in this life will happen if you let it and if my nomination was meant to be not even Jennifer Tew cold stop it…As it was, neither Ms Tew nor her representative could be bothered to show up so I was the only nominee…Had she shown up I would have taken her out back and broken her legs and told her to run for dog catcher or water commissioner or something.

I ate like a pig the entire weekend…First, on the way out Friday (it’s a four-hour drive to the big city from The Shire) I stopped at Fave Fast Food Joint A and had their biggest burger and that night Cousin Mike and Barb took me to this burger place where Mike said they had a half-beef, half-bacon patty…He lied, it was actually a 60/40 beef/bacon split but I quibble….Saturday Mike and I had breakfast at Waffle Planet, the dive 24-hour joint that I love dearly and Saturday night was the banquet at the convention which was pretty good…Sunday I had breakfast with the state American Legion commander – I still command my Legion post and district – and before fleeing town Sunday I celebrated my nomination with not one, but two burgers at Fave Fast Food Joint B…Throughout the weekend I supplemented this – not that it needed supplementing – with a hot dog and a taquito at convenience store near the convention hotel.

I raided Cousin Mike’s booze Saturday night when I got back from the convention…My room is in the basement and so is Cousin Mike’s booze, so he didn’t know his booze was almost all gone until I bragged about it this morning…The cheap stuff was up front, Jack, Dewars, Phil’s Yak Piss, stuff like that…I noticed a bottle or two in the back, in the shadows under the cabinet, and some investigation showed it was quality stuff, so I poured a couple-three inches…Glen Fart, or something like that…30-years-old, a single malt from the Scottish highlands…Now, I am not Mr Scotch, but even an idiot like me knows that is primo stuff and boy, it went down really nice.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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