The Daily Dose/November 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The In The News segment will return.

Today at the Site
Sparrow gets off another of his classic lines at the retailer in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he gets the snow tires put on his car.

In the midst of all this, I actually managed to be useful to customer…

It’s the tightest race for the ESPNCup in years on The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12. Rice continues to set the pace, and UTEP returns to the medal stand, as Division III Earlham wraps up another glorious 0-10 season, becoming the first team to earn three (3) straight Continental Cups – issued to the team with the longest all-division losing streak in the Saudi sphere of influence.

5, Navy (2-8; lost to Central Florida 35-24)
Mitigating Factors: Navy – still favorites for Sgt Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness – impresses B-10 pollsters with first seven (7)-game skid since 2002 squad lost ten (10) straight…Middies hampered by pregame Navy Secretary order requiring team – in order to better celebrate Marine Corps birthday – to call all audibles to tune of Happy Birthday To You.
FunFact: Revered 2002 squad was also last Navy team to produce two (2)-win season, going 2-10.
Next Loss: Tulsa

Today’s Thought for the Day is an encore from September, from the book Roots, with Alex Haley talking about minding one’s business.

Minding our own business is nothing more than one way to eliminate outside influences from dominating our lives…This is difficult if we are using our time for fretting about other people’s affairs.

On This Date
In 1956 – The United States Supreme Court upholds a lower court opinion in Browder v. Gale, which struck down an Alabama law requiring segregated buses. The decision upheld a US District Court ruling that had been handed down in June. The suit was part of the Montgomery Bus Boycott which had begun in December 1955, following the arrest of Rosa Parks.

In 1982 – Ray Mancini defeats Duk Koo Kim in a 14th round TKO to defend his WBA lightweight title at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Immediately after the fight ended, Kim collapses in the ring goes into a coma and dies four days later in a Las Vegas hospital. The fight brought changes to boxing, namely the end of 15 round fights, the addition of the standing eight count and changes to the medical test boxers receive.

In 1971 – Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn are at #1 on the Billboard country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – with Lead Me On. The song would spend one week at #1 and also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart. Lead Me On was the second of five consecutive #1 songs for Twitty and Lynn, who would have twelve country hits together, all of them reaching the Top 10. As solo acts, Twitty had 31 #1 country hits and Lynn had 11.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first professional football team in America was located in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. In 1897 the Latrobe Athletic Association was comprised entirely of professional players. They went 10-2-1, including some games against college teams.

Today’s Stumper
What was Conway Twitty’s real name? – Answer Next Time!

Let’s Be Friends: follow me on Facebook.
Click here to subscribe. Reasonable rates.

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/November 12, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
It seems to us that stories fade from view quicker than in the past, so here is the latest on the death of Saudi writer Jamal Khashoggi, which we – here in America at least – haven’t heard too much about. Recall Khashoggi who was last seen entering the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul, Turkey last month.

Source: Aljazeera

• Khashoggi is still dead. The Saudi government has given up denying Khashoggi was killed in the consulate.
• Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman recently said those responsible will be found and punished. The staff here at In The News doesn’t believe that any more than you do.
• There is suspicion that Khashoggi was suffocated with a bag over his head, the dismembered and the remains tossed in acid. Reports indicate that the Turks have made a recording of the killing available to the Saudi’s, Americans, British, Germans and French.
• Some European countries have gotten their shots in a knot over this and have suspended arms sales to Saudi Arabia, but not everyone. The Americans and British, among others, continue to sell arms to the Saudis.

Saudi Arabia may well brazen their way through this without significant consequence. While the US and France went through the motions of demanding Saudi accountability this past weekend, and some malcontents are still making a fuss over it, time is the Saudi’s friend and the longer the world collectively continues to go without making too much of a fuss over this, the greater the chance no one will be held accountable for Khashoggi’s murder.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow continues to get mileage out of his soon-to-be classic “my old teeth looked like an archaeological dig” line at the retailer, plus he is given some options on what days he works at Hotel C. 

I spent no small amount of time on my treasured Aisle 5 tonight and I was swamped…Key to being swamped is to be the only register open…I am not making that up!!!…That is all it takes, even if you’re dead slow like we’ve been since summer ended…

The Thought for the Day: In an encore from September of last year, Louis L’Amour talks about us humans hardly realizing what we can become. 

But once you muster the courage to go and climb and you find the patience to stick with it, you will find that all things will come to you, that what was meant to happen in your life generally will happen. 

On This Date
In 1912 – The bodies of British explorer Robert Falcon Scott and two of his men are found by a search party on the Ross Ice Shelf. The expedition had made the South Pole in January, only to discover the expedition led by Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen had already been there. Scott and his men had made their final camp on March 19th and are believed to have died on either March 29th or March 30th.

In 1892 – William “Pudge” Heffelfinger becomes the first professional football player in America when he is paid $500 (about $13,800 in today’s dollars) by the Alleghany Athletic Association (AAA) for their game against the Pittsburgh Athletic Club. Heffelinger, a guard, scored the only touchdown, on a recovered fumble, as the AAA won 4-0. From 188-91 Heffelfinger had played at Yale, where he had also lettered in rowing, baseball and track

In 1983 – All Night Long by Lionel Richie is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of four consecutive weeks. The song was also in the fourth week of a seven-week stay atop the Billboard’s soul chart- then known as the Hot Black Singles chart – and All Night Long also went to #1 in South Africa, Holland and Australia. It was Richie’s third solo #1 on the Hot 100 and his second on the soul chart.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The qualification least issued by the US military is the Astronaut Badge. Each branch designs their own, and NASA awards them to civilians.

Today’s Stumper
Where was the first professional football team in America located? – Answer next time!

Let’s Be Friends: follow me on Facebook.
Click here to subscribe. Reasonable rates.

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/November 11, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

In The News
We’ve made this point before: the real effect of the Trump Administration is not his policies or actions or utter disregard for how the presidency has historically operated. We’ll survive these. President Trump is a lot of things but he is not inherently evil, he merely lacks a long-term vision for our country or the skill to govern. This is not a bulletin. The GOP knew this when they nominated him and we knew it when we elected him. His only real talent, something he is supremely good at, is drawing attention to himself. 

No, what is really poisoning our country is his boorish behavior and his utter lack of interest in, concern for or empathy with anything other than himself. We elected a petulant nine-year-old to the presidency. Now, America’s national conversation has never been conducted in the queen’s English but, as our recent election pointed out, Americans are circling the wagon in a manner not seen, perhaps, since the slavery days.

An example is the NRA, hardly a bulletin, either, because few circle the wagons like they do. A recent post on their Facebook page equated guns and shootings with lighters and arson.

Good gravy, guys, was there nothing less sensitive available? Was the post showing the outline of an Uzi superimposed over the 2nd Amendment in for repairs? Some empathy would have been nice or, better yet, how about just shut up and stay silent for a while because the Second Amendment is not going to be repealed in the next five days.

Showing discretion and keeping quiet is seldom an option in America now, though. Civility is dead. Paced by our president, manners and courtesy have been tossed out with rinse water. All that matters now is energizing your supporters.

The shooter was another combat veteran who could not make a go of it on Civvie Street. Maybe if the NRA, everyone else in our country, stepped away from their wagons and championed ongoing mental health care for our veterans instead of our now usual partisan bickering, this would not have happened and we could have written about something else today.

Today At The Site
Sparrow lets the guy who couldn’t afford a room snooze in the lobby on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Sparrow and Buzz start making plans to go to the holiday meal at the college’s dining room.

The kid said yeah it was and then, for reasons I’m sure he thought good, opened the box, probably to show me there wasn’t a bomb…I inspected the contents and the pizza, and accompanying breadsticks, looked really good.

“How much of this you gonna want back???…I’m just curious…”

The Thought for the Day is an encore from October of last year, former US Congressman and Oklahoma Sooner quarterback JC Watts talking about the American dream.

On This Date
In 1921 – The Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetary is dedicated by President of the United States Warren G Harding, the first warrior interred a soldier who had died in France in World War I, which had ended three years to the day earlier. Since 1948 the tomb has been guarded continuously by soldiers from the US Army’s 3rd US Infantry Regiment, commonly known as the Old Guard, who do not wear insignia on their uniforms so as not to outrank any of the Unknowns. The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Guard Identification Badge is the second-least awarded qualification badge issued in the US military.

In 1944 – The New York Rangers defeat the Detroit Red Wings 5-2, ending their NHL-record winless streak at 25 games. The Rangers had last won on January 16 – the previous season – and had gone 0-21-4 during that span. The record is now held by the Winnipeg Jets – now the Arizona Coyotes – who went 0-23-7 in the 1980-81 season.

In 1973 – Eddie Kendricks is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Keep On Truckin’. It was Kendricks’ fifth time at #1 but his first and only time as a solo act, the other four coming with the Temptations, a group he had left in 1971. The song also spent two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s R&B chart, then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart, in October.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first officer commissioned into the United States Marine Corps was Samual Nicholas, commissioned Captain of Marines in November 1775. He is considered the first commandant of the Marine Corps.

Today’s Stumper
What is the least awarded qualification badge in the United States military? – Answer next time!

Let’s Be Friends: follow me on Facebook.

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/November 10, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The only news now are the particulars: how many died and where. The fact there was another mass shooting in the United States is no longer news, of course, because for a while now America has averaged around two of these a month.

Why are we the only nation on Earth whose citizens regularly shoot up others? Why has our nation become a shooting gallery?

Certainly, the availability of guns is part of the reason. To deny that is folly. If there weren’t any guns there wouldn’t be any shootings. But other nations have guns and their citizens aren’t shooting their neighbors on a regular basis. Why is it happening here in America?

We have long said we have violent citizens because we have a violent government. America has been at war daily since 1989 and these are the consequences: violent citizens, a violent country, a violent world.

We think that denying this is folly, too. If America had been at peace for the past 30 years instead of at war, do you really believe mass shootings would be the regular occurrence they are now? Of course not. An America at peace for the past three decades would have produced a country that was at peace with itself and the rest of the world.

Friends, we will not have a peaceful world or a peaceful country without a peaceful America. Every single one of us – you, me, our friends in the Middle East – are entitled to see the world produced by an America at peace.

Today at the Site
At the retailer, Sparrow actually tells a woman how tasty it is to mix double stuff Oreos with hazelnut coffee creamer on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, it’s fairly busy at Hotel B and Sparrow talks about Thursday’s General Holiday. 

I made it sound like it was utterly to die for…The woman was actually intrigued by this, tho it should be noted she plainly liked me and probably would have show interest had I suggested mixing Band-Aids with motor oil…

Today’s Thought for the Day is an encore form September of last year, President John F Kennedy talking about being bold. Fresh Thought’s for the Day will return soon. 

America has a long history of being bold, with results that range from the inspiring to the tragic. 

On This Date
In  1775 – The United States Marine Corps is established by an act of the Second Continental Congress. It was the last act of the day by the Congress and followed a resolution authorizing General George Washington to invade Nova Scotia should “he should judge it practicable and expedient”. The Marine Corps was disbanded after the American Revolution and reformed again during the administration of President John Adams.

In 1963 – Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings becomes the NHL’s all-time leader in goals scored, scoring his 545th goal in a 3-0 victory over the Montreal Canadiens. The old record had been held by Montreal’s Maurice “Rocket” Richard and Howe would retire with 801 goals. The record is now held by Wayne Gretzky with 894. Also in the game, Detroit goaltender Terry Sawchuk tied George Hainsworth’s all-time NHL record with his 94th shutout.

In 2018 – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line remain at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart for the 49th consecutive week. It is the only #1 song the chart has had this year and is the longest any single has spent at #1 on any Billboard chart. Meanwhile, 30 songs – including Meant to Be, in April – have hit #1 on Billboard’s Country Airplay chart in 2018. The current #1, She Got the Best of Me by Luke Combs, is one of three songs to spend three weeks at #1 in 2018. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The NBA player who has scored at least 60 points in a game the most times is Wilt Chamberlain, who did it 32 times.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the first officer commissioned in the United States Marine Corps? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook

Share Gaylon! Go!