The Daily Dose/January 18, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

WE THE PEOPLE: The trial of President Donald Trump by the United States Senate is underway, with assorted participants sworn in this past Thursday and the trial will resume on Tuesday with senators voting on how the trial will be conducted. Trump is the third president to be impeached by the House of Representative and tried in the Senate, joining Andrew Johnson and Bill Clinton, both of whom were acquitted. 67 senators must vote to convict Trump and the only penalty for conviction is removal from office. 

Broad Historical Context: It’s useful to look at the trials of Johnson and Clinton, and at the proceedings against Nixon for some context and to see how the articles against Trump stack up. 

There are three standards. The Johnson Standard is that the president shoud not have even been impeached in the first place. The Clinton Standard is, yeah, well, you know, maybe he did some things, but they’re really not deserving of removal from office. The Nixon Standard is he’s guilty, guilty, guilty, go and hang the bastard.

Leading Off: Article I accuses the president of abuse of power and yeah, he did but who is really surprised by this? Article I is, at its core, an indictment of Trump trying to bully and influence people for his own personal benefit. This is not a bulletin, it’s part and parcel of how Trump does business; he’s been pestering people for his own personal gain probably since he came out of the womb. While this meets the Clinton Standard, we don’t think this meets the Nixon standard for impeachment and conviction. We’d vote no. 

And In This Corner: Article II accusing the president of obstruction of Congress has more meat on it. Obstructing others so he can get his way is also how Trump conducts his affairs, but you can’t mess around with Congress and for our money this meets the Nixon Standard and if we had a vote we’d vote to convict on this article. Somewhere, Nixon is beaming with pride. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We’re not betting the rent money on it, but we would not die from shock if enough Republican US Senators have had enough of Trump’s nonsense and take the opportunity to stage a palace coup and convict him. Trump is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself. We can do better. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody:  Sparrow has the latest from the Veterans Service Office. Today’s Diary. 

I’ve started adding a weekly feature called Benefit Spotlight to my county VSO webpage…It runs every Friday and today was the third installment, a chat about our VA home loan benefit…It really isn’t a loan in that the VA doesn’t lend the money, but they do guarantee a portion of it which virtually every lender is willing to accept in lieu of a down payment, a pretty nice benefit…Virtually everyone who has served since World War II and doesn’t have a dishonorable discharge is eligible and even some surviving spouses are too, and The Shire was purchased in no small part because of this benefit…The other two were on my role as a VSO and our VA medical benefit. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1943 – The first armed resistance by Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto against the Nazis occurs. Known to History as the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, it followed the deportation of roughly a quarter-million Jews to German concentration camps for killing the previous summer. The uprising ended on May 16, after German troops burned the ghetto to the ground. About 36,000 Jews were sent to the concentration camps, while another 20,000 died in the ghetto. The uprising killed 17 Germans. 

In 1967 – Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia 76ers establishes a new NBA record for most field goals made in a game without a miss, going 15-for-15 in a 113-105 victory over the Detroit Pistons. Chamberlain broke the old record of 14 established by Bailey Howell of the Baltimore Bullets in January 1965 and Chamberlain would break his own mark twice more this season, including establishing the current mark by going 18-for-18 on Feb. 24. 

In 1936 – Tommy Dorsey is at #1 on Your Hit Parade – a radio program that was the first chronicler of American charted music – for the second of three consecutive weeks with The Music Goes Round and Round. It was the sixth time at #1 for Dorsey since the first Hit Parade chart on Apr. 20, 1935 and his second as a solo act. The other four were with the Dorsey Brothers Orchestra, which he led with his brother Jimmy. Tommy Dorsey died in 1956, choking to death in his sleep at the age of 51. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

O, what an untold world there is in one human heart!
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Wayne Gretzky holds the NHL record for most career hat tricks with 50. To date, 878 NHL players have had at least one hat trick. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was Wilt Chamberlain’s field goal percentage for the 1966-67 season? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 17, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Friends, Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets a new phone. Today’s Diary. 

Tragically, the suh-weet $1 iPhone upgrade I got when I last got a phone a few years ago is no longer available…Verizoid wanted me to pay full price for a new iPhone…Eff that noise, as we used to say in the Navy, so she showed me some other phone brands that seemed OK but didn’t really cause me to achieve and maintain a state of arousal and she sensed this and said you know, Mr Sparrow, ATOT has some iPhone deals…The plan is a little more than you’re paying now, but the phone is only $1 a month…Hell, even a working stiff like me can afford $1 a month…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1911 – Rober Falcon Scott, leading a team of four men History refers to as the British Antarctic Expedition, become the second expedition to reach the South Pole. They found the tent and supplies of Roald Amundsen and his party – who had reached the Pole a month earlier – the following day, supplies which included a letter Amundsen asked Scott to take back with him, in case Amundsen didn’t make it. Scott and his men died on the return trip, with Scott’s final diary entry dated March 29, 1912.

In 1981 – Mike Bossy of the New York Islanders establishes a new NHL record with his eighth hat trick of the season in a 6-4 win over the Washington Capitals. Bossy had three goals and an assist in the game and broke the record of seven that had been done on four other occasions, most recently by Richard Martin of Buffalo in 1975-76. Bossy would finish the season with nine hat tricks and the record is now ten hat tricks in a season done twice, both by Wayne Gretzky (1981-82, 1983-84). 

In 1976 – Barry Manilow is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with I Write the Songs. It was the fourth Top 40 hit for Manilow, his third to make the Top 10 and his second of three #1 songs. The song was Billboard’s 13th biggest song of the year, ranked at #185 on Billboard’s 60th anniversary Hot 100 in 2018 and won a Grammy Award for Song of the Year for writer Bruce Johnston.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

What lots and lots I could tell you of this journey….but oh what a price to pay – to forfeit the sight of your dear face.  – Robert Falcon Scott, final letter to wife, 1912

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

George Harrison had one #1 song in his native Great Britain, My Sweet Lord, which went to #1 twice, in 1970 and again 2002. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

Who holds the NHL record for most hat tricks in a career? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 15, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HEY BATTER, BATTER…SWING: Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred has handed out the first penalties in the Houston Astros sign-stealing scandal. So far, two managers and a general manager have lost their jobs and there might be others, too. The Astros were fined $5 million and lost four first and second-round draft picks. 

All right. The commissioner had to do something. Established major league rules had been violated and now careers are ruined but, interestingly, the Astros are more or less off scott free. The $5 million is nothing for them and the loss of some draft picks will hurt but is hardly catastrophic and they retain their 2017 World Series title. They got away with it. 

Some Philosophy Crap: Nothing will change because sign stealing is as old as baseball. Only the methods have changed and as long as teams insist on giving signs other teams will try to steal them. It’s the way the game is played. You can make electronic sign-stealing illegal but it is not going to stop it because players will merely become more adept at not getting caught, much like with the use of PEDs. 

Put It In His Ear: So leave it alone and let the players take care of it. Anyone who’s knocked around the ballyard long enough knows there are two types of rules: the ones in the book and the ones players play the game under. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The Astros signaled a certain pitch was on the way by banging a trash can. This is what continues to flummox us: if a batter can hear a trash can being banged than the catcher can, too. So what were the catcher’s doing while trash cans were being banged, tapping their toes to the beat? Because I’ll tell you what, catchers aren’t idiots and after a couple of trash can bangs were followed by curveballs being sent into orbit they should’ve gotten a clue and put two and two together. He should have pulled his pitcher aside between innings for a little chat and the next time there’s a bang against the trash can the pitch would have sailed behind the batter’s head instead of breaking outside. End of problem. 

Fly In The Ointment: Some are feeling sorry for the Los Angeles Dodgers in all this but honestly, do you really think the Dodgers weren’t trying to steal signs during their World Series loss to the Astros? Don’t kid yourself; the surprise would be if they didn’t. They merely not as obvious nor as good at it. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: A guest yaps through the entire check-in process. Today’s Diary. 

He was a tall, friendly sort with mussed-up hair and an acne-scarred face who probably wasn’t valedictorian and he wasted no time in telling me he was a rodeo cowboy who was home only about three or four nights a month and on the road the rest of the time and he was really tired and wanted to stop for the night even tho his ID said he lived in the next county which isn’t that far for Pete’s sake and he’s broken every bone in his body many times and was currently recovering from a shoulder injury which followed an ankle injury and good gravy, he talked thru the entire transaction.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1759 – The first public national museum in the world, the British Museum, opens in London. The museum first displayed the collection for British physicist Hans Sloane and it’s original home, Montague House, was demolished in the 1840s. Due to the British penchant for sticking its nose in every part of the world, the British Museum has one of the planet’s largest collections from classical antiquity and today boasts over 13 million objects. 

In 1997 – The Seattle Supersonics establish a new NBA record for most steals in a game with 27 in a 122-78 wins over the Toronto Raptors. The Supersonics broke the old record of 25 done twice, both times by the Golden State Warriors, and the record still stands. The Raptors had twelve steals of their own and the combined total of 39 steals is tied for the second-most in NBA history (40, done three times). 

In 1966 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three non-consecutive weeks with We Can Work It Out. The song had first reached #1 on Jan. 8 and would return on Jan. 29 after The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel spent a week at the top. The song also went to #1 in seven other countries including The Netherlands and Great Britain and the flip side of the Beatles record, Day Tripper, peaked at #5 on the Hot 100. Stevie Wonder also charted with the song, peaking on the Hot 100 at #13 in 1971.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…there was the powerful impulse of vanity, a motivation which has never had its due recognition in historical works. – William E. Woodward, The Way Our People Lived

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Player’s other Top 10 hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 was This Time I’m In It For Love, which peaked at #10 in 1977.  

Today’s Stumper
Test your knowledge. Now.

What is the NBA record for fewest steals in a game by both teams? – Answer next time!

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