Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, October 10 A good morning with The Wife…She and the others got back from their trip working at a retailer a few hours south of here last night and she got home about an hour after I got back from the candidate’s forum…She was putzing around the house when I woke up this morning and she could see no reason why she and her husband should not go out to breakfast at the new restaurant on the edge of town…I was getting ready when I asked The Wife if today was Wednesday and she said yes and I violated the Second Commandment, adding the breakfast joint is closed Wednesday…Very adaptable as always, The Wife laffed and said well, let’s go to the next county, noting we could pop in at some other stores “just for funsies” a line she long ago stole from me, appropriating it for her own personal use.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, October 9 A disaster…A complete and totally unmitigated disaster.
I was ready…I had very good opening and closing statements, the hair looked good and the falsies were cooperating and I had my usual thoughtful and substantive positions on a wide variety of issues ready to go.
The Daily Dose/October 9, 2018 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
In The News As headlines go, it was you don’t see too often:
Painting Sold At Auction Self-Destructs
We were curious, too, so we clicked on the article. Turns out a painting by one Banksy of a girl reaching out for a red balloon that had just sold at a London auction for $1.4 million had attempted to, and partially succeeded at, self-destructing. Immediately after the sale, the painting slid towards the bottom of the frame where a shredder, of all things, was waiting for it. About half the painting was shredded and it was quickly hustled away. The auction house says it had nothing to do with it, Banksy prefers to lay low and isn’t saying and the buyer is anonymous.
Banksy is based in England and no one is entirely certain of who he is, though there appears to be a solid guess out there. Though termed a street artist, vandal would also be appropriate, too, because a lot of his work is, graffiti. In 2011 Banksy was nominated for an Oscar in the Best Documentary category.
As we write this, no one is entirely sure what the heck happened, including whether or not the buyer is obliged to fork over his $1.4 million. We’re not experts on the matter, but you do not have to be Rembrandt to suspect he may well pay it without objection because the notoriety may well drive up its price, making his purchase a good investment.
Today at the Site Today on The Diary of a Nobody, Sparrow gives his hair one final field test before the candidate’s forum, giving it a thorough washing and putting some Brylcreem in it…He also frets about being asked a question he knows nothing about. The Diary of a Nobody is free this week, to go and get to know Sparrow.
I went with Brylcreem for today’s field test…I’ve been using it the longest and, frankly, I will probably go with it tomorrow, tho we can’t count out Groom and Clean just yet…Vitalis is out of the running because I am out of Vitalis and I don’t know if I will replace it…It had a nice run, but how many hair tonics does a guy need, especially a guy with as little up top as I have???
The status quo reigns supreme on The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7, as the top five positions remained unchanged, as the race for the ESPNCup, symbolic of Bottom Ten supremacy, remains one of the tightest in years. We usually charge for The Bottom Ten, but it’s Read Free Week, so go enjoy it now.
All eyes are on Division III Earlham this week, as the two-time defending holders of the Continental Cup – issued to team with the longest all-division losing streak in NAFTA’s sphere-of-influence – can tie the all-time Division III record this week with their 50th consecutive loss.
The Thought for the Day is still enjoying some time off, but we have an encore for you today, from tightrope walker Rick Wallenda, who has some thoughts on being on the wire. Click here to read it.
Because when we have them we are generally showing ourselves and the world that we are trying to better ourselves, to do something we haven’t done or be someone we’ve never been.
On This Date In 1967 – Marxist revolutionary Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara is executed in Bolivia for attempting to incite riots in that country. Guevara had become interested in the revolution racket after touring poverty-stricken areas a young medical student and he became determined to fight the capitalists that preyed on these people. Guevara was shot in a hut by an army sergeant with bad aim and Guevara was initially shot in the arms and legs. The sergeant then killed Guevara with a shot to the chest.
In 1919 – The Cincinnati Reds defeat the Chicago White Sox 10-5 in Game 8 of the World Series, winning the series five games to three. There were rumors the White Sox were throwing the series even then and, of course, eight White Sox would be accused of accepting money to throw the series, known to History as the Black Sox Scandal.
In 1962 – Ray Charles is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 1o0 for the second of three times with Hit The Road Jack. The song would spend two weeks at the top. Charles also had 11 number one hits on the R&B chart and one number one, with Willie Nelson, on the country chart.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question To date, 3,502 men have been awarded 3,521 Medals of Honor. Of the 19 who have won two awards, 14 have won the award for separate actions, while five have won both the Army and Navy medals for the same event.
Today’s Stumper Who was the first person to earn separate Medals of Honor in different wars? – Answer next time!
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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
It was steady as she goes in the Bottom Ten this week, as there was no change in the top five teams, with Bottom Tem pollsters “pretty sure” this is the first time in “like, quite a while and stuff” the Top 5 has remained unchanged.
All eyes are on Division III Earlham this week, as the two-time defending holders of the Continental Cup – issued to team with the longest all-division losing streak in NAFTA’s sphere-of-influence – can tie the all-time Division III record this week with their 50th consecutive loss.
This week’s mess:
1. UTEP (0-6; lost to North Texas 27-24) Mitigating Factors: B-10 pollsters searching bylaws to see if they can just cut-and-paste last week’s entry as Miners humming on all cylinders in quest for second straight B-10 title…Current 18-game skid still nation’s best…To combat complacency during upcoming bye week, UTEP staff to keep inspirational movie Rudy on continuous loop in weight rooms. FunFact: Team so bad official athletic website now focusing on accomplishments of chick tennis, soccer teams even though they’re a combined 9-21-1. Next Loss: at Louisiana Tech (10/20)Continue reading →
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Monday, October 8 What with my candidate’s forum Tuesday, today was the big dress rehearsal for the hair…I didn’t really need a shower before heading in for swing shift at the hotel, but I took one anyway one so I could get a dose of my wash-that-gray-right-out-of-my-hair shampoo in and to field test a tonic right out of the shower.
The Daily Dose/October 8, 2018 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
In The News Treasured readers, big news:
Read Free Week is back!
We are not making that up! The Sales Department reported that not everyone on the planet took advantage of our very special lifetime subscription offer during the last Read Free Week so, in a shameless attempt to earn your business, we are pleased to offer another lifetime subscription offer during Read Free Week.
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That’s a lifetime of The Diary of a Nobody and The Bottom Ten plus my funny books, including the upcoming Criminals, Courtesans and Constables. In fact, lifetime subscribers will be able to read Criminals, Courtesans and Constables before anyone else.
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Today at the Site Sparrow has more biscuit and gravy issues at the hotel in the latest edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he fills out another questionnaire for the Sparrow For Congress campaign.
Hell, a complimentary hotel breakfast isn’t to be confused with Sunday brunch at the Ritz, but even I know you can’t toss out biscuits that smell like old shoes…
The Thought for the Day continues its hiatus, so today we feature an encore from November of last year, King David talking about how we are what we think we are. Click here to read it.
To an extent that is astonishing, we get out of life what we think we will. Those who shoot for second place seldom place first…On the other hand, those who change the world or who accomplish great things – or even get the most out of their talents – set out to do exactly that.
On This Date In 1918 – US Army Corporal Alvin C York earns the Medal of Honor for killing 28 Germans and capturing 132 more under heavy machine gun fire in the Meuse-Argonne Offensive in France in World War I. York originally claimed conscientious objector status, but he later withdrew the application. His award for valor was initially the Distinguished Service Cross and was upgraded to the Medal of Honor a few months later.
In 1956 – Don Larsen of the New York Yankees pitches the sixth perfect game in major league (ML) history, defeating the Brooklyn Dodgers 2-0 in Game 5 of the World Series. Like some perfect game pitchers, Larson was an unlikely candidate for the history books. Though he had an 11-5 record in 1956, his career record was 81-91 and Larsen had lasted less than two innings in Game 2. The Yankees won the series in seven games and this remains the only perfect game in World Series history.
In 1983 – Bonnie Tyler is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of four consecutive weeks with Total Eclipse of the Heart. The also went to #1 in Great Britain, Australia, South Africa, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand and Norway. It was Billboard’s 6th biggest hit of 1983 and remains Tyler’s only #1 song either in the US or Britain.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question There were 135 candidates for governor in California’s 2003 recall election.
Today’s Stumper How many Medals of Honor have been awarded, and how many people have earned them? – Answer next time!
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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, October 7 More biscuits and gravy fun today for breakfast at the hotel!!!…Recall last week I couldn’t find the crockpot to keep the gravy warm in, obliging ol’ Sparrow to pull a solution out of his arse and I was thinking on my feet again today.
The Daily Dose/October 7, 2018 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
In The News The verdict in the murder trial of former Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke – guilty of second-degree murder and 16 counts of aggravated battery, one for each bullet – is, on the whole, fair. Van Dyke deserved criminal sanction over his conduct in the shooting to death Laquan McDonald. We are pretty pro-law enforcement here, but officers must be held accountable when they kill those they are sworn to protect.
This case illustrates several things:
One, it will always remain difficult to convict a police officer of first-degree murder – Van Dyke’s original charge – in these situations, even someone who pumps 16 rounds into someone who’s walking away. Murder one, as we have pointed out here before, involves premeditation, intent and malice aforethought and these are very difficult to prove when a killer has only known his victim for a few minutes. Fortunately, Illinois law provides for conviction of a lesser offense, not every jurisdiction does, and hopefully, we’ll see fewer prosecutors try for Murder 1. Of course, it looks good when the charge is first issued because this makes DAs look tough on crime, but it is difficult and impractical to prove.
Two, the times they are a’ changin’. Slowly. But they are changing. It used to be unprecedented for an officer to be convicted of so much as jaywalking much less murder in on-the-job killings like this but Van Dyke joins a former Texas officer as the second cop convicted of murder this year.
This might also change the way officers are tried, particularly when there is contradictory video evidence. Van Dyke took the stand in his own defense and was found not to be believable by the jury, with one juror noting his testimony seemed like a play being put on after long rehearsals. It might also reduce the number of time an officer chooses to face a jury, as numerous acquittals have come from judges presiding over bench trials.
Maybe it will also change the way police are hired. No small number of officers who shoot and kill people on the job had prior complaints against them and an alarming number are combat vets, too.
Now, we served our country in time of war – though we never saw combat – and we have the highest possible level of respect for those who have, too. But the scars of battle are both visible and hidden and some of these scars disqualify veterans from police careers.
Today at the Site Sparrow starts in on his opening and closing statements for the candidate’s forum Tuesday night on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, without his usual Saturday night shift at the retailer, Sparrow attempts to have dinner at his small town diner, but they’re closed, so he ends up going to the Mexican joint in the next county.
Still slow at the hotel…We’re asking $119 for walk-ins but eff that noise, if you haggle enough with me you could probably name your price as long as that price wasn’t $19.99.
The Thought for the Day continues to take a well-earned rest and today’s encore is from January of this year, a thought from Dan Duffy, an old shipmate from the Navy days on aiming high. You can read it here.
Sure, some steps are momentous and require not only courage but a huge leap of faith, but sometimes only the decision to set out and give something a try is the difference between success and failure.
On This Date In 2003 – California Governor Gray Davis is recalled in a special election. The election actually had two questions: should Davis be recalled and, if so, who should replace him. The first question passed 55 percent to 45 percent, and Arnold Schwarzenegger got 48 percent of the vote to earn election as the next governor. He took office on November 17.
In 1916 – Georgia Tech defeats Cumberland College 222-0, the most lopsided college football game in American history. Cumberland had actually discontinued their football program after the 1915 season and only traveled to Atlanta to avoid paying the required fee for canceling the game and the squad that showed up mainly consisted of frat brothers of manager George E Allen. Today Cumberland, located in Lebanon, Tennessee, plays football in the Big South Conference of the NAIA and are currently 3-4 following Saturday’s 13-7 loss to Georgetown College.
In 1978 – Kiss You All Over by Exile is at #1 for the second of four consecutive weeks on the Billboard Hot 100. While not technically a one-hot wonder, Kiss You All Over was Exile’s only major Top 40 hit, though they would go on to great success on Billboard’s country chart, where they had ten #1 hits, including seven in a row between 1983-85.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question To date, 3.791 extrasolar planets have been discovered. – Source: California Institute of Technology.
Today’s Stumper How many candidates for governor were there in California’s 2003 recall election? – Answer next time!
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